# Suggest a Humorous Euphemism (kid-friendly too, please!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861 "2015-04-16T20:09:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/21 "2015-04-17T02:17:48Z")
Fewmets! (from A Wrinkle in Time) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/22 "2015-04-17T02:33:05Z")
Cheese and rice! Mother pus-bucket! _from “Ghostbusters”_ ---
**Author:** ![CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptainAmerica_1987)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/23 "2015-04-17T02:34:07Z")
Eat it ---
**Author:** ![Sandra\_Battye](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sandra_battye/32/552_2.png) [@Sandra\_Battye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandra_Battye)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/24 "2015-04-17T02:46:25Z")
Crivens! ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/25 "2015-04-17T02:52:19Z")
There’s always the good old fashioned “drat!” and “harrumph!”. My four year old thinks both of those are hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/26 "2015-04-17T02:53:47Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Soccer Blue! > > (It will be interesting to see how long it takes for people to figure it out.) Tres bien! > [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > When my son was little, I adopted the old Morkism, Shazzbat. It has no real meaning, so can’t be offensive, and it’s kind of fun to say as an expletive. 🙂 > > Truth be told, I still use it when I’m in unfamiliar company, to avoid possible offense. When I catch a spider and take it out to the yard, I always say “Fly! Be free!.” Celtling rolls her eyes and explains again that spiders can’t. > [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > “Great Googa Mooga!” is one I use around my boys (when I remember). Memory bubble: My Grandfather used to say “Great googely moogely!” I’m ashamed to say how many different ways I’ve tried to spell that. It still doesn’t look quite right, but I’m moving on. > [@Nauplius](#): > > Jiminy Crickets! > Jumpin’ Jihad! > Jackrabbit! Reminded me of “Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!” (Yosemite Sam?) which I always liked. But that being an actual biblical character, I guess I’ll pass on it. Thanks y’all! Keep 'em comin! ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/27 "2015-04-17T02:57:35Z")
When I was young, my mother made a conscious effort to stop using “Damn!” as an all purpose interjection around us kids. Her euphemism was “Rat tail soup!” ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/28 "2015-04-17T03:12:18Z")
My favorites are: Oh barnacles! Dumptruck! Fiddlesticks! The last is the funniest because my older son said when he was 3- “mom, we say fiddlesticks instead of fuck, right?” Guess I edited my language too late… ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/29 "2015-04-17T03:24:45Z")
By way of the great William Claude Dunkenfield (aka W.C. Fields), “Mother of Pearl!” ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/30 "2015-04-17T03:57:06Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Reminded me of “Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!” (Yosemite Sam?) which I always liked. But that being an actual biblical character, I guess I’ll pass on it. Then how about “Jumpin’ G. Horsefat”? Another WC Fields phrase: “Godfrey Daniels”! From a classic Cecil column [Does every type of animal dropping have its own name? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/250/is-it-true-every-type-of-animal-dropping-has-its-own-name) > [@](#): > > We have tath, cattle dung; spraints, otter dung; bodewash, cow dung; the familiar guano, seafowl excrement used as fertilizer; wormcast, a cylindrical mass of earth voided by an earthworm; and coprolite, fossil excrement — e.g., dinosaur poop. For completeness’ sake we ought to include cowpies and buffalo chips. > > A related word is jumentous, pertaining to the smell of horse urine. Nor can we forget ichthyomancy, fortune-telling with fish offal, or spatilomancy, fortune-telling by investigating animal droppings. Other milestones in the fecal vocabulary, as long as we’re on the subject, are shardborn, born in dung; stercoricolous, living in dung; and sterquilinian, pertaining to a dunghill. This last one has many obvious applications in interoffice memo writing. > > …gleet, hawk stomach phlegm (I’m not making this up); curpin, a bird’s behind; numbles, edible deer innards; dowcet, a deer testicle; fenks, leftover whale blubber used as manure; axunge, goose grease; pulicous, abounding with fleas; and crapaudine, a horse’s ulcer. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/31 "2015-04-17T04:05:29Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > “mom, we say fiddlesticks instead of fuck, right?” Ha ha ha – classic! My euphemisms at work are Dagnabbit! and Sugar dumpling! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/32 "2015-04-17T04:53:06Z")
Back in the '70s, the nighttime Hollywood Squares had this going for weeks: whenever a celebrity didn’t know an answer, s/he would yell “bananas” instead of a swear. I think the joke was the louder/meaner they said it was how angry they were. Homer: If you’re happy and you know it say a swear! Nelson: Boobs! Milhouse: Hiney! Ralph: Mitten! ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/33 "2015-04-17T11:40:40Z")
Cheesy Petes! Sugar! Figgin! Spunes! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/34 "2015-04-17T13:41:44Z")
Instead of calling someone an asshole, we say _cheeselog_. We’ve been doing it for years - I think I came up with it in college, tho it’s so long ago, I don’t recall for sure. We’ll even use it affectionately when talking to our dog. It’s a great word! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/35 "2015-04-17T14:03:23Z")
Consarn it all! ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/36 "2015-04-17T17:18:26Z")
razzlefrazzlesnazzle or Sackafrackafushamusha. or shnikinrickinfashinrockn … Muttley the cartoon dog used to say this. It sounds like he’s cursing. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/37 "2015-04-17T17:23:51Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/yj3DBcpfMNQ/hqdefault.jpg "Muttley Swearing") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj3DBcpfMNQ) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/38 "2015-04-17T17:36:34Z")
Asterisk, hashtag, popping bubble, swirling thing, percentage, ampersand, exclamation point. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/39 "2015-04-17T18:05:38Z")
Baloney! Baloney! Spumoni! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861/40 "2015-04-17T18:06:21Z")
Rats! That’s it - pure and simple. Helpful if you grit your teeth and throw a mock swing while you say it, or snap your fingers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-a-humorous-euphemism-kid-friendly-too-please/717861.md?page=3)