# Suggest your best fake research grant applications **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2023, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192 "2023-06-27T21:53:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2023, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/1 "2023-06-27T21:53:38Z")
The idea of persuading some naive university to pay you to spend a year or more just goofing off must surely inspire a few people to apply for ‘research’ grants using grandiose or obscure scientific terms to disguise the fact that they’ll simply use the funds for beer. I’m imagining proposed titles like, “_Investigating fluid dynamics within oscillating systems and varying electromagnetic exposure”_, which might actually mean the researcher plans to watch a lot of porn on all his devices. So what do you think you could plausibly get away with? Post your proposed thesis title (which must _seem_ important), and also what it _actually_ means you’ll be doing with the money. Perhaps spoiler the second part to let the rest of us guess your true intentions. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/2 "2023-06-28T01:07:15Z")
_Comparative vertical ethography of exploited Latin American youth cadres_ > **Translation** > > Whoring your way through Central & South America. On somebody else’s nickel. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/3 "2023-06-28T03:17:37Z")
_Aerospace science implications of powered aircraft kept in contact with continuous, stationary, rotary physical fitness system: Some observations on lift and angle of attack outcomes_ Something to do with airplanes on treadmills, obviously…. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/4 "2023-06-28T03:47:03Z")
_Interaction Dynamics in Dyadic Linguistic Recall of Textual Semantics and Structures: An Observational Case Report._ Talking about a book with your friend. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/5 "2023-06-28T03:54:08Z")
_Investigating Alternative Physical Recovery Techniques And Modalities._ Where to nap ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/6 "2023-06-28T07:07:14Z")
_Impact of a token system on the dynamics of randomization._ Playing poker ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/7 "2023-06-28T18:10:06Z")
_Online group dynamics in problem-solving and data management regarding long-term popular-culture memory of musical performances, with some insights into the use of humor as a communications enhancement and subsequent meme-generation among Internet in-groups: A Study_ All about “Rio” by Duran Duran, naturally. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/8 "2023-06-28T22:31:54Z")
_Longitudinal examination of conversion of chromatic materials from liquid to solid state_ Watching paint dry ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2023, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/9 "2023-06-28T22:54:47Z")
_Emotional, Physiological, And Psychological Reactions To Unexpected Harmonic And Rhythmic Shifts_ Being Rickrolled! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2023, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suggest-your-best-fake-research-grant-applications/986192/10 "2023-06-29T01:40:41Z")
_Stochastic Random Walks Through Curated Knowledge Spaces; A Multidisciplinary Synoptic Collaboration_ > **Translation** > > Reading the Dope all day.