# Summarise a Film In a Limerick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 21, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520 "2005-03-21T05:23:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/1 "2005-03-21T05:23:37Z")
Following the staggering success of **case sensitive’s** uber-thread, I thought I’d try and bring in those who seldom read books, but love their movies. “A case of mistaken identity Everyone’s after a non-entity A hero plied with bourbon A blonde, a McGuffin Movie-making as it was meant to be” ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/2 "2005-03-21T06:22:54Z")
Watched by the gimp, heroin snorted An important gold watch, Marvin contorted Vince takes the bullet Then Jules says “forget it” Wait, no - ack, it’s all disordered. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/3 "2005-03-21T11:51:08Z")
An unfeasibly big, hungry fish Finds holidaymakers a dish - The plot’s kinda poor But there’s buckets of gore; There was just one of these? Oh, I wish. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/4 "2005-03-21T12:12:32Z")
Link to the uber-thread ([Summarise a Novel in a Limerick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306868)) for those who missed it or thought it was about Tolkien. ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/5 "2005-03-21T13:56:43Z")
At last! I was about to start this thread, but kept putting it off. I guess it was inevitable. 😃 My contribution to come later (while I should be working/studying) so rejoice or take warning, depending. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/6 "2005-03-21T15:11:03Z")
Two Germans are dead on a train, As Strasser arrives on the plane. Renault lets him know That they’re sure to go, To Rick’s Cafe Americain. Ugarte gives letters to Rick. Into Sam’s piano - how slick. Ferrari tries buying. Louis talks of spying, Says Laszlo is planning a trick. Laslo and Ilsa appear After visas, not just a beer. Rick’s wondering why He plays “As Time Goes By” But Sam’s glance shows Ilsa is here. Ah memories. Rick’s time in Paris Drinking and dancing unharassed. But suddenly - Krauts It’s time to get out. But Ilsa leaves him most embarrased. Ilsa and Laszlo are stuck Strasser says they will die there with luck. Ferrari is useless, His promises toothless But Rick may fix all this up. The Germans stand around Sam And are singing a German anthem. Play “La Marseillaise” Is all Laszlo need say And Rick’s closes up like a clam. Ilsa is packing a gun, When she asks Rick for the letters to run. She tells Rick she loves him, But Laszlo’s her husband Let him go - for he is the one. Suddenly things get confusing, Arrests and releases - bamboozling. At the airport are Rick, Louis, Ilsa and Vic And a plane, it’s engines idling. Louis fills in the forms under orders But Ilsa regrets her departure. Rick says let it slide Stay by Victor’s side And sends them on their way cross the water. Strasser tries stopping the plane, Rick shoots him but he is not blamed. “The usual suspects” says Louis, As he tosses his bottle of Vichy. “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/7 "2005-03-21T16:38:10Z")
Some rich guy, he keels over dead. “Rosebud” was the last word he said. After some discovering, We end up uncovering That it was the name of his sled. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/8 "2005-03-21T18:13:47Z")
The first rule is we don’t talk about it, The place where we get punched, kicked and hit, There’s twelve steps and soap, Just to help Tyler cope, In the movie he’s played by Brad Pitt ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/9 "2005-03-21T18:33:41Z")
Marry me, **irishgirl** … _sigh_ Ecoterrorists, The Monkeys Twelve Hatch a plot reminiscent of ELF\* Send the future Bruce Willis Stop the plague that will kill us And the man he saw shot was himself _(_ The Environmental Liberation Front, for those unfamiliar with Eco groups in america)\* An Invalid gains infiltration In a genetic code centered nation Though genetically dimmer Ethan Hawke’s a good swimmer Earns his own rocket journey–Elation! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/10 "2005-03-21T18:55:50Z")
A farmer plowed under his field to make a ballpark that could yield old players like Shoeless but Ray remained clueless until his dead dad was revealed. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/11 "2005-03-21T19:05:08Z")
A terrorist whose name was Grüber had a sinister plan that was Über but an off-duty cop gave his henchmen the chop while the feebs showed the brains of a tüber. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/12 "2005-03-21T19:12:02Z")
Poor young Alex, stuck in a cell block Till his mind was refined by the doc. Now he no longer can Listen to Ludwig Van, So he jumped out the window. Tick-tock! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/13 "2005-03-21T20:03:21Z")
There was a young man from Tatooine who flew in an X-fighter machine He fought in a star war and blew up a death star because they forgot to put up a screen. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/14 "2005-03-21T20:18:47Z")
There was a young man from Tatooine who flew in an X-fighter machine He fought in a star war and blew up a death star because they forgot to put up a screen. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/15 "2005-03-21T20:37:25Z")
Please remember poor Marty McFly. He fled when he saw the Doc die. His mom loved him a lot, the Doc said ‘Great Scott!’ Who knew a DeLorean could fly? ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/16 "2005-03-21T22:21:39Z")
Can we please identify the film being… uh, “limericked” before the limerick itself? Readers may want to be warned of potential spoilers. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/17 "2005-03-21T22:40:13Z")
_ **Napoleon Dynamite** _ In Idaho a young fellow says, “My friend here wants to be class prez. My home life’s a wreck. But oh, what the heck! Please vote for one Pedro Sanchez.” ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/18 "2005-03-21T23:01:26Z")
Starship Troopers: An asteroid sent by a bug. Rico left home with no hug. Ten lashes in a square. A girl with red hair. The brain bug is really a slug. Dr Strangelove: A general launching some nukes, The war-room is filled with kooks, Taking pictures of the big board, While defending from the red hoard, The doomsday machine gives me the spooks. Matrix: Morpheus seems like a loon. Agent Smith is a big goon. Trinity shoots. Cypher’s in cahoots. Neo finds there’s no spoon. Saving Private Ryan: The shooting happens in Omaha, the Nazis begin to withdraw. The captain gets shot, Private Ryan does not. No, this isn’t that movie with Jude Law. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/19 "2005-03-21T23:47:09Z")
_The Princess Bride_ The farm boy, although he was skilled Sought his fortune, but then he was killed Is true love in the plan? Will Inigo get his man? Watch this movie, and you will be thrilled ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520/20 "2005-03-22T00:47:10Z")
The Cube: Several strangers were kidnapped And put in a cube full of traps They wondered what for? Was it a deep metaphor? Or merely a deep pile of crap? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/summarise-a-film-in-a-limerick/295520.md?page=2)