# Sung to the tune of. . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 7, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537 "2004-12-07T14:07:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/1 "2004-12-07T14:07:28Z")
Remember Mad Magazine and their semi-regular song parodies? Yesterday, for no particular reason at all, I made up two of them. I know I’m not the only one to do this because I’ve read some fine parody songs right here at the Dope. You should share them because it is the holiday season and a time for sharing. Here are mine: Sung to the tune of Good King Wenceslas: We ain’t got no Christmas cash We ain’t got no money Good for us the kids are bad It ain’t even funny. We will get them lumps of coal We will get them t-shirts Just so that they’ll always know Christmas brings a world of hurt. And for you non-holiday Scrooges and Michael Jackson reformers-- Sung to the tune of, well, guess: Beat it! Beat it! Then get a tissue and clean it! Use some hand lotion Use some warm spit It doesn’t matter, just lay off the kids And beat it! You now! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/2 "2004-12-07T14:36:09Z")
Here’s a MAD parody from when I was a kid, sung to _Hello, Dolly_: \*Hello, Deli Well hello, Deli Won’t you please send up some nice corned beef on rye? A box of Ritz, deli And some Schlitz, deli Some chopped liver and a sliver of your…apple pie! [REMAINDER DELETED BY MODERATOR] \* This one isn’t a song parody, but a literary one (from _Good and MAD_). It’s one of my favourites: [Jabberwacky](http://www76.pair.com/keithlim/jabberwocky/parodies/jabberwhacky.html) \*'Twas Brillo, and the G.E. Stoves, Did Procter-Gamble in the Glade; All Pillsbury were the Taystee loaves And in a Minute Maid. [DELETED BY MODERATOR] \* ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/3 "2004-12-07T14:55:13Z")
A standing O for \*\* Johnny L.A. \*\* Both are absolutely superb! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/4 "2004-12-07T14:59:41Z")
**Johnny** , did you make those up or did you take them from the magazine? Because if you took them from the magazine, I don’t think that’s allowed. Copyright and all. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/5 "2004-12-07T15:10:12Z")
I just made up naughty lyrics to _Santa Baby_ the other day. I’m not sure whether to post them here or not…they’re not XXX-rated explicit, but they’re not Hayes Code compliant, either… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/6 "2004-12-07T15:19:42Z")
Ah, filk-y lucre. [Here,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=78974) resurrected in a blatant display of self-aggrandizement, are a few SDMB-themed song parodies for your amusement. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/7 "2004-12-07T17:03:17Z")
Oh man, those MAD magazine ones were so funny! My favorite was called “The Sun of Summer,” sung to the tune of “The Sound of Silence.” It went, in part: _And my skin is three shades of cinnamon, Chin to shin. Burning with the sun, Of summer._ That was the height of wit, as far as I was concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/8 "2004-12-07T17:51:14Z")
As recently as Sunday, while getting out Christmas decorations I found myself singing the _Mad_ parody of “Deck the Halls” (called “Fill the Bars”), which was a pretty blackly comic riff (for them) on holiday over-celebrators. An excerpt: _See the busy intersection, (Fa la la la la, la la la la) Here come cars from each direction (Fa la la la la, la la la la) See the pile-up when they’re meeting, (Fa la la, la la la, la la la) What a novel Christmas greeting! (Fa la la la la, la la la la)_ Yeeah, don’t think they’d get away with that one today . . . ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/9 "2004-12-07T18:33:24Z")
Kenny Rogers had a hit called_Coward of the County,_ which was annoying after the 20th hearing. “Promise me, son, That you’ll bite your woman’s buns. Wear a two-day stubble when you can. Folks won’t think you’re queer, If you have another beer. Damn right you have to drink to be a man.” I wrote that. If you’re a KR fan, and it spoils the song for you, then ppppppppppbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/10 "2004-12-07T18:39:59Z")
Damn. I just thought of naughty takes I’ve done on “Friends in Low Places” and “Be Our Guest”. And I still don’t know if I should post them. Grrrr… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/11 "2004-12-07T18:46:08Z")
I’ve got friends with white faces And a burning cross that you know chases Them Jews away, then we call it a day. We’re mighty big on the master races We wear slip on sheets and pillow cases. Yes, I like friends with white faces. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/12 "2004-12-07T19:32:16Z")
Hey **jayjay** , are they worse than my Beat It lyrics? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/13 "2004-12-07T19:45:11Z")
A little something I put together after the Pacers/Pistions riot, to the tune of _Seasons In The Sun_. With apologizes to Terry Jacks \*Goodbye O’Neil, you frickin’ bum Hope you and Jackson found that fracas fun Together you climbed up to Ron Who was acting like a schlong Now for three months your ass is gone Who’d have thought at the game’s start that a quick foul would make them fall apart? One little shove lead to a fight and that a 20-foot cup flight would be best dunk of the night? You guys suck, you’re all scum Now the Pacers season’s done And Artest has all year To promote his rap career Hope your time on the pine Lets you think about your fine All that cash, gone to skids? Sprewell could’ve fed his kids\* ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/14 "2004-12-08T01:31:48Z")
You folks need the Wierd Al Yankovic collections. He does this stuff professionally. [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/002-1194689-4743224](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/002-1194689-4743224) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/15 "2004-12-08T01:34:00Z")
Sorry…try this one. > **["Weird Al" Yankovic](https://www.weirdal.com/)** > > The official website of "Weird Al" Yankovic. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/16 "2004-12-08T01:36:16Z")
My most succesful song parody, from a thread about celebrities you find frightening. Someone mentioned Kelly Ripa, and, naturally, that made me think of the BOC… _Regis’ time has come Now that Kathy’s gone Audience fears the Ripa And her grating nasally whine (It’s just daytime TV) Come on baby (don’t fear the Ripa) Baby take my hand (don’t fear the Ripa) We’ll be able to fly (don’t fear the Ripa) On weekdays at noon La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la_ ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/17 "2004-12-08T01:44:07Z")
It needs more cowbell. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/18 "2004-12-08T08:08:42Z")
From my Jr High/High School days (To the tune of The Candy Man) Who can take some KoolAid Add some cyanide Lead Nine-hundred twelve in a mass-suicide? The Reverend Jones can- Good ol’ Jimmy Jones can! There was a lot more to it but that’s all I recall. Yes, I did write that. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/19 "2004-12-08T09:36:45Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Damn. I just thought of naughty takes I’ve done on “Friends in Low Places” and “Be Our Guest”. And I still don’t know if I should post them. Grrrr… Speaking of “Be Our Guest”, here’s one from the little-known Disney sequel _Beauty and the Cthuloid_: _Be our guest Be our guest As your planet we infest! Kill a virgin for Cthulu Let Yog’Soggoth do the rest! You will find that our kind Drive you quite out of your mind; As you face the Creeping Chaos Can your horror be suppressed? Let’s be plain: please refrain From a trip to central Maine Or you’ll end up dead, dismembered or possessed! Come on and join us now! We’ll conquer anyhow! Don’t be blessed! Be a pest! Be our guest!_ ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537/20 "2004-12-08T10:31:50Z")
Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme \*Come and listen to my story ‘bout a man named Fred A bold minister with lots of hate inside his head And then one day he was lookin’ for a cause And said to himself “I’ll hate homosexuals!” (Queers you know, sodomites) Well the first thing you know ol’ Fred’s a picketeer Cursing anything that acts remotely queer We think that somewhere else is where he really oughta be And while he’s at it he can take his whole darned family! (Siberia, Timbuktu) Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Fred and all his kin We’re sorry but we can’t say that we’re glad that they stopped in And if by chance they should come back to this locality We’ll have to show them some of our great hospitality! (Tar that is, feathers, don’t come back now, ya hear?)\* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sung-to-the-tune-of/278537.md?page=2)