# Super Heroes vs. Starship Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 9, 2011, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244 "2011-05-09T06:44:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/62 "2011-05-13T10:19:58Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Superman flies faster than light. So does The Enterprise. > [@](#): > > Superman flies through the Enterprise faster than Kirk can say “Scotty, scan that alien”. > > The Enterprise is a rapidly expanding cloud of plasma. > > End of. Has it been established that Superman can penetrate force shields? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/63 "2011-05-13T11:43:45Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > So does The Enterprise. The Enterprise can’t go (there’s no possible way to say this without it sounding silly) as much faster than lightspeed than Superman can. My point is that the Silver-Age Superman can fly (literally) across galaxies in seconds. He can make inertia-less 90[sup]o[/sup] turns while going faster than light. He can make U-Turns at faster than light speed. > [@](#): > > Has it been established that Superman can penetrate force shields? Mostly. One of his bad-guys (Brainiac) has as his main gimmick force shields that are as ridiculously overpowered as Superman is. Brainiac’s force field can protect him from an exploding sun. Superman has about a 50/50 chance of penetrating Brainiac’s force field. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/64 "2011-05-13T11:55:47Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I think Superman would be the one major hero that the Enterprise could take down pretty easily. Sure, he’s incredibly strong and tough, but he’s essentially powered by crappy pseudo-science, and crappy pseudo-science is Star Trek’s stock in trade. I figure it would go something like this: > > Spock: Captain, our scanners indicate that the individual’s body is super-charged with yellow sunlight particles. > Kirk: Yellow sun, huh? Bones, what can we do with that? > Bones: Any first year med student knows that yellow sun particles can be counter-acted by red sun particles. > Kirk: Good! Scotty, modify the phasers to emit red sun particles. Fire on my mark! > > And that’s the end of the fight. Superman flies as fast as the speed of plot. 😃 We know it takes time for Spock to scan something. Before Spock can get the first word out, Superman has already turned the Enterprise into an expanding cloud of plasma since Superman’s speed has no real upper limit and he can go from a standing start to near infinite in no time. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/65 "2011-05-13T12:36:35Z")
_sigh_ I can’t believe everybody, including me, left whether or not Kirk’s shirt is ripped out of the calculations. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/66 "2011-05-13T15:02:25Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > I don’t know how much Thor you’ve read but the Marvel comics Thor would utterly destroy the Enterprise. He’s sort of a fleet destroyer. Really, he could probably take down the Death Star much less te Enterprise. It wouldn’t be close. I’ve read a ton of Thor. He’s done well in space in some stories, poorly in others. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/67 "2011-05-13T15:05:22Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Superman flies as fast as the speed of plot. 😃 > > We know it takes time for Spock to scan something. Before Spock can get the first word out, Superman has already turned the Enterprise into an expanding cloud of plasma since Superman’s speed has no real upper limit and he can go from a standing start to near infinite in no time. Superman’s not going to obliterate a shipful of humans (or any sentient organics) without a really, really good reason. He would, however, happily trash the warp drive and leave them with just enough impulse engine power for life support. That’s assuming it happens, of course. I can’t imagine it getting to a fight; not even Janeway is 'flicted enough to start shooting at him for no good reason. Certainly Kirk, Picard, & Sisko wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/68 "2011-05-13T15:36:35Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > I don’t know how much Thor you’ve read but the Marvel comics Thor would utterly destroy the Enterprise. He’s sort of a fleet destroyer. Really, he could probably take down the Death Star… “A single Uru hammer into the thermal exhaust port would cause a chain reaction…” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/69 "2011-05-13T16:27:31Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > _sigh_ I can’t believe everybody, including me, left whether or not Kirk’s shirt is ripped out of the calculations. See post 30. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/70 "2011-05-13T16:41:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Lightray > And I shudder to think of the carnage that could ensue from a quip-off between Spider-Man, McCoy, and Spock. Spidey for the win. I also think the Legion of Super-Heroes could stop ripped-shirt Kirk without doing anything. When he sees all those barely dressed babes, his mind will implode trying to think of which one to seduce first. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/71 "2011-05-13T16:58:03Z")
> [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](#): > > Spidey for the win. > I also think the Legion of Super-Heroes could stop ripped-shirt Kirk without doing anything. When he sees all those barely dressed babes, his mind will implode trying to think of which one to seduce first. So superboobs:Kirk::Kirk-logic:computers? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/72 "2011-05-13T17:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > We know it takes time for Spock to scan something. Before Spock can get the first word out, Superman has already turned the Enterprise into an expanding cloud of plasma since Superman’s speed has no real upper limit and he can go from a standing start to near infinite in no time. Sure, Superman _could_ do that, but since when does he ever actually use his super-speed in a fight? Yes, he’s powerful, but he’s also a tactical idiot, and that should always be taken into account in these scenarios. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/73 "2011-05-13T17:05:29Z")
> [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](#): > > Spidey for the win. > I also think the Legion of Super-Heroes could stop ripped-shirt Kirk without doing anything. When he sees all those barely dressed babes, his mind will implode trying to think of which one to seduce first. If we use the most recent? continuity, Triplicate Girl could destroy Kirk all by herself. He sees her, she splits, Kirk envisions the permutations and dies of acute blood transfer to his nethers. ---
**Author:** ![FarmerChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@FarmerChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/74 "2011-05-13T17:06:16Z")
I have to say superman wouldnt ever fight kirk, piccard, sisko, or janeway… and they wouldnt fight him… unless it was robo superman and piccard, sisko, or janeway might think hes borg. _disclaimer_ captain archer would try and fight first, loose, be rescued by the vulcans and demoted… until next season Also im pretty sure superman could still destroy the enterprise if he had i mean hes moved moutains and such couldnt he sned the enterprise way of course into sun? In a fight between enterprise, galatica, super star destroyer, and batman… Vader would win, batman wouldnt stand a chance as he dont really have a spaceship so he would wait in the shadows… until the main fight was over and then vader would captuer him, freeze him in carbonite, and sell him to the joker. Now what does more damage photon torpedo, proton torpedo, or nukes from galactica? i think the tubro lasers and tie fighters would over whelm any enterprise, and galactica i dont see how they couldnt plus vader has no heart… galactica would get all screwd in politcs, and adama would have a tense moment of pondering it… and star fleet… lets face it arnt really prepared for war, were galactica, and vader live in a time/era of war also as far as super heros, no superhero could win unless he could live w/o a space suit or ship in space soo thats a limit i think ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/75 "2011-05-13T22:40:54Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Kirk beats Superman. He asks “Why would Superman need a starship?” and Kal-El’s head would explode. Last time Superman needed a spaceship Krypton exploded, must be some correlation here. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/76 "2011-05-13T22:49:36Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Superman flies as fast as the speed of plot. 😃 > > We know it takes time for Spock to scan something. Before Spock can get the first word out, Superman has already turned the Enterprise into an expanding cloud of plasma since Superman’s speed has no real upper limit and he can go from a standing start to near infinite in no time. On the other hand, Superman is slowed down by his need (inherent in all superheroes) to narrate his own actions. While he’s floating around, describing to himself how he’s floating around, the Enterprise has all the time it needs to reverse the polarity of something and kick his ass. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/77 "2011-05-14T10:59:24Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > On the other hand, Superman is slowed down by his need (inherent in all superheroes) to narrate his own actions. While he’s floating around, describing to himself how he’s floating around, the Enterprise has all the time it needs to reverse the polarity of something and kick his ass. I was about to say that [talking is a free action](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TalkingIsAFreeAction), but then I would think that would count on the ship, too. I also agree that Superman would not be using his super speed at first, as he never does. And, while I think he could knock out the shields eventually , I think his yellow-sun power might be fairly weak by then. And he’s unlikely to go the scheming route and get himself beamed aboard. That, BTW, is the way I think Batman could win. Combined with armor that could at least stop phasers on stun, and the large number of places to hide, he should do as well as that one guy on TNG who avoided capture after beaming aboard. All he’s got to do is set up a bomb on the warp core and get out before it goes off. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/78 "2011-05-14T17:02:14Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Naw. He already knows what Professor X looks like. TNG had an X-men crossover, too, this time both in a [Marvel comic](http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Second_Contact) and in an officially licensed [Star Trek book](http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Planet_X_%28novel%29). This makes it a sort of second tier canon, similar to the Star Wars Expanded Universe. It won’t be recognized on film or TV, but it can be in books. And since there are no more of the former for this universe… No. Trek canon is very strict. The only “second-tier canon” it has is the question of the animated series. The Relaunch books, as good as they are, aren’t in any way canon, and the hundreds of Pocket and Ballantine books definitely aren’t in any way canon, either. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/79 "2011-05-14T17:26:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’ve read a ton of Thor. He’s done well in space in some stories, poorly in others. Such as? Walk me though tne poor showings please. I own every (Marvel) Thor ever published so happy to look it up and stand corrected. Really he oes very well in space with perhaps the Celrstial run being the exception. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/80 "2011-05-14T17:36:28Z")
Thor vs. the Enterprise would basically be like the first time he encountered Beta Ray Bill’s ship Scuttlebutt except that there wouldn’t be a superpowered bionic space horse waiting to fight him inside. Thor can take on Silver Surfer, and Silver Surfer could basically sneeze the Enterprise out of existence. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244/81 "2011-05-14T20:23:24Z")
Thor could just teleport inside and kill them all from within. He breached Thanos’ ship shields which could withstand planetary explosions. The Enterprise is well beneath him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-heroes-vs-starship-enterprise/581244.md?page=3)