# SUPER POWER-what would it be?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-power-what-would-it-be/21542>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 6, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-power-what-would-it-be/21542 "2000-06-06T14:01:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-power-what-would-it-be/21542/61 "2000-06-23T16:40:17Z")

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A super effecient, variable-speed metabolism. It would slow down for those times when I’d need to conserve calories (Or play dead), I’d heal wounds like Wolverine, I’d have enhanced speed and strength on demand, and I’d have the perfect body.

I wouldn’t mind having electrical powers: Lightning, an elecrostatic forcefield, and the ability to control electronic devices.

Super speed, ala The Flash.

Shapeshifting.

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**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-power-what-would-it-be/21542/62 "2000-07-24T23:58:52Z")

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capacitor wrote:

> [@](#):
>
> I want to be the Artist of the Impossible. When something is considered impossible, I can do it. Make a grand slam out of two yarborough hands in bridge? I can do it. Walk unprotected in outer space? No problem. Yep, it is a great power.

Only problem is, once you’ve done something, it’s no longer impossible, so then _you wouldn’t be able to do it anymore!_ Once you’ve inhaled that first breath in outer space, breathing in space is possible, so you won’t be able to take a second breath.

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**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-power-what-would-it-be/21542/63 "2000-07-25T02:12:36Z")

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(from behind wall): ACHOO!  
Crook #1: What’s that sound?  
(Crashing through the wall comes our hero)  
Crooks #1 and 2: Oh No! It’s Bodily Emissions Man!  
BEM: Yes, my X-ray sneeze revealed you robbing this vault. Now drop those revolvers, or I’ll spit!  
Crook #2: You don’t scare us.  
BEM: Hakkkkk; PTUI! Hakkkkkk; PTUI!  
(Guns flying out of their hands) P-DANGggg. P-DANGGggg.  
BEM: Come along quietly. Don’t make me use the Red Dog.  
Crooks: Alright! Alright!  
(BEM takes one under each arm and takes to the skies to deliver the evildoers to justice)  
BRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPpppppppppppppp  
Crook #1: Say, how are we flying?  
Crook #2: You don’t want to know. Just be glad we’ve got a headwind.

[The fun part is the sound effects.]

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