# Super-tanned woman accused of child abuse \[edited title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747 "2012-05-03T12:53:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/41 "2012-05-03T21:18:14Z")
All this talk of potentially burning weather is getting me down a bit, here in damp, grey Vancouver. But surely a burn of the sort you might get outdoors with highs of 18 degrees celsius is going to look different from one you would get in a tanning salon, yes? This would be considered during the investigation? If the kid had a farmer burn and police thought it was likely something she got in a tanning booth, I’d be inclined to say that the charge is ridiculous - but it seems more likely to me that they saw that she had a more all-over burn and that is why they concluded the kid had really been in the tanning booth. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/42 "2012-05-03T21:40:00Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > If the kid had a farmer burn and police thought it was likely something she got in a tanning booth, I’d be inclined to say that the charge is ridiculous - but it seems more likely to me that they saw that she had a more all-over burn and that is why they concluded the kid had really been in the tanning booth. That’s kind of my take. The kid could have easily got a sunburn in April in New Jersey without the tanning bed… but if it was from just being outside, the burn pattern would be different. Since this was reported by a school nurse, I’m thinking the burn pattern was different from what a kid would get outside playing. Do we know what the kid’s burn pattern is? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/43 "2012-05-04T00:40:26Z")
Mrs. Nutley accuses her detractors of being “jealous, fat, and ugly” in [this video](http://www.big1059.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=104668&article=10099764). She also sounds intoxicated, although that may be her normal voice, what with breathing in all the shit she has to put on her skin to keep it from flaking off. This woman has to be mentally ill. There is no way any sane person would voluntarily put themselves through what she goes through. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/44 "2012-05-04T00:43:39Z")
You all are just haters. She’s just _sexified_!! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/45 "2012-05-04T01:23:49Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > You all are just haters. She’s just _sexified_!! 🆒 I know you’re kidding (or at least I hope you are), but would you really stick your dick in that? It’d be like fucking a baseball mitt. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/46 "2012-05-04T01:40:29Z")
Oetzi and Tan Lady’s pictures were side by side on one news site, and I swear to Og I couldn’t tell which was which. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/47 "2012-05-04T01:40:49Z")
I went for a half hour walk today - with sunscreen - (which doesn’t do shit against burning no matter what kind I buy) and I’m as red as a tomato. And sore. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/48 "2012-05-04T01:41:48Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I know you’re kidding (or at least I hope you are), but would you really stick your dick in that? It’d be like fucking a baseball mitt. It brings out her definition. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/49 "2012-05-04T01:49:17Z")
Indescribably hideous old saddle bag. ---
**Author:** ![C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C.Montgomery_Burns)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/50 "2012-05-04T01:58:12Z")
I told somebody she either has the world’s worst tan, or they’re remaking the Jazz Singer. Hey’ what’s your sign? “Cancer!” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/51 "2012-05-04T02:06:41Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > It’d be like fucking a baseball mitt. This made me laugh like a loon. …and after seeing the video you linked, I predict she will be declared an unfit momma in _3… 2… 1…_ ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/52 "2012-05-04T02:42:49Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Mrs. Nutley accuses her detractors of being “jealous, fat, and ugly” in [this video](http://www.big1059.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=104668&article=10099764). She also sounds intoxicated, although that may be her normal voice, what with breathing in all the shit she has to put on her skin to keep it from flaking off. > > This woman has to be mentally ill. There is no way any sane person would voluntarily put themselves through what she goes through. There’s no question she’s on something. She sounds drunk. I love the part in the video where she hitches up her pants before making a beeline for the tanning salon. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/53 "2012-05-04T04:39:50Z")
If she’s not driving, who cares if she’s drunk? ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/54 "2012-05-04T04:53:25Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I thought [this picture](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/child-burned-in-tanning-booth-578912) (which appears to be from the future) was even more …interesting, with the lipliner. She really does look like an Oompa-Loompa here. Steak lips!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/55 "2012-05-04T04:53:52Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > If she’s not driving, who cares if she’s drunk? It’s not exactly the responsible thing to get yourself drunk before an interview where people will be determining whether you get to keep your child. And it’s a really bad idea to get drunk before going tanning. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/56 "2012-05-04T04:56:55Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And it’s a really bad idea to get drunk before going tanning. Why? What difference does it make? Other than perhaps the risk of passing out/falling asleep in the tanning bed; but either way the bed is on a timer (and I don’t think she’d mind if she got a few extra minutes anyway) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/57 "2012-05-04T04:57:29Z")
Actually, she’s really really _smart_ for doing this. It’s going to make her immortal. In 1,000 years, she’ll look like [this](http://images.wikia.com/en.futurama/images/4/40/Petunia.png). And she’ll still be living in Nutley. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/58 "2012-05-04T05:15:04Z")
She’s like a real-world version of [Magda](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/fiUvk0q2KOg/0.jpg) from _Something About Mary._ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/59 "2012-05-04T13:26:26Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I know you’re kidding (or at least I hope you are), but would you really stick your dick in that? It’d be like fucking a baseball mitt. Nah. You can only get one hand into a baseball mitt. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747/60 "2012-05-04T13:28:51Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Nah. You can only get one hand into a baseball mitt. That did make me laugh 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/super-tanned-woman-accused-of-child-abuse-edited-title/620747.md?page=4)