# Superheroes etc. who are NOT cut, muscular or sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 23, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566 "2003-12-23T01:32:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/21 "2003-12-23T05:46:22Z")
Hindsight Lad from the New Warriors Tom Thumb was a not so ripped midget in Squadron Supreme Frog-Man is a frumpy kid. As was the Spectacular Spider-Kid (until some moron of a writer tried to make a serious hero out of the comical character and made him skilly and changed his name to the Steel Spider or some such rubbish) Toad has never been overly attractive. Mole Man’s whole schtick revolved around him being too ugly for the surface world. There’s tons of grotesque beastly villains, but I think you are looking for more of an “unattractive” human type. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/22 "2003-12-23T05:58:29Z")
My favorite superhero, Blue Beetle, is constantly struggling with weight problems, as well as self-doubt and heart disease. While he has been portrayed as handsome and fit in the past, his best years of superheroing may be behind him. ---
**Author:** ![Blake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/23 "2003-12-23T05:58:30Z")
Marrow Nightcrawler Gargoyle ---
**Author:** ![CadburyAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@CadburyAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CadburyAngel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/24 "2003-12-23T07:16:19Z")
Oh, Nightcrawler is cut, muscular, and sexy. I know I’m not the only one that thinks this, check out all the old X-Men threads… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/25 "2003-12-23T07:21:21Z")
Ambush Bug, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/26 "2003-12-23T07:23:08Z")
Ma Hunkle, the Red Tornado Dr. Druid Chunk (Flash’s pal) G’Nort Volstagg Karnak (Frightfully thin) Most of the Great Lakes Avengers Dr. Strange (depends on the artist) Straw Man ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/27 "2003-12-23T07:38:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Bad Voodoo Lou \* > \*\*My favorite superhero, Blue Beetle, is constantly struggling with weight problems, as well as self-doubt and heart disease. While he has been portrayed as handsome and fit in the past, his best years of superheroing may be behind him. \*\* Ah, but Lou, the Blue Beetle has now shaped up, according to recent issues of Birds of Prey. (PS Lou - If you haven’t worked out my own secret identity, folow the link in my sig.) ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/28 "2003-12-23T07:43:11Z")
Impulse Herbie, the Fat Fury The Impossible Man Mr. Myxzilplc (or however you spell it) Bat-Mite The Molecule Man The Molecule Man’s girlfriend, Volcana Most kid sidekicks And some semi-obscure ones from **Kurt Buseik’s Astro City:** The Bouncing Beatnik “Roach” (of the Astro City Irregulars) Julius Furst Rex, of the First Family The Hanged Man ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/29 "2003-12-23T12:59:57Z")
The Got-No-Green Lantern ---
**Author:** ![hypnoboth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@hypnoboth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypnoboth)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/30 "2003-12-23T13:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shy guy \* > \*\*The golden age Sandman. \*\* Heck with the Golden Age Sandman. The new age Sandman isn’t ripped, and how many of you women find him sexy? Heck, all the Endless are ugly. Well, Destruction is ripped and sexy as hell, but he left. Death has her attraction, but she certainly isn’t the curvy-curvy, tits-out-to-here stereotype. And let’s face it, Despair is just plain ugly, ugly, ugly. Even Desire isn’t beautiful. Gaiman wrote her/him so that anyone looking upon him/her would fall in love, so much in love that he or she would spiral into a web of desire, unable to love anyone else. But none of the artists have been able to come up to that promise with that androgenous character, and most of the time she/he is a sharp chinned, rather repellent looking thing. The artists should do better than that. The closest was in the latest **Endless Nights** , but even that, with the full face golden eyes, wasn’t that close. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/31 "2003-12-23T13:57:41Z")
If anyone remembers it - Jim Lee’s _Wild C.A.Ts_ member Maul’s great big “hulk” form was a big switch from his real form. In reality, he was a scrawny, bespectacled nerd who hung out at art galleries - he was even dorkier and less handsome than Bruce Banner. The actual comic-book Wolverine. Though Hugh Jackman is fantastic as Wolvie in the films, he’s a damn good looking guy. In the comic “reality,” Logan is 5’3", broad shouldered, scruffy, densely hairy and stinks of cheap cigars and beer. Tell me that would be attractive in real life and I’ll call you a liar. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/32 "2003-12-23T14:55:56Z")
> [@](#): > > In the comic “reality,” Logan is 5’3", broad shouldered, scruffy, densely hairy and stinks of cheap cigars and beer. Tell me that would be attractive in real life and I’ll call you a liar. Well, call me a liar then because on a purely physical level Wolverine is hot. Now, throw in all the personality issues and I would run away quick like a bunny but he’s still a hot little trick. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/33 "2003-12-23T16:00:06Z")
**Karnak** has a wierd big head thing going on. **Gorgon** is a big, hairy guy with goat legs. I suppose he’d be sexy to some renn-faire wench somewhere, though. I loved the fact that **Harry Leland** of the Hellfire Club looked like an old, fat Orson Welles. [Here’s](http://www.geocities.com/luiiluu/hfc.htm) his face as drawn by John Byrne (scroll down). ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/34 "2003-12-23T17:18:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The God of Muesli Bars \* > \*\*Ah, but Lou, the Blue Beetle has now shaped up, according to recent issues of Birds of Prey. > > (PS Lou - If you haven’t worked out my own secret identity, folow the link in my sig.) \*\* Of course I recognize you, Sir! Great to see you on the Straight Dope! But your secret identity is safe with me. As for Beetle, in the recent Formerly Known As the Justice League miniseries, he complained a lot about his heart condition and was always nervous about rushing into battle. It is clear he lost some of the weight (as I also remember from the wonderful Watchmen tribute in Birds of Prey #25), but Kevin Maguire definitely drew him with more normal proportions in FKATJL, not ripped or anything. I haven’t read Birds of Prey in a few years so I don’t know what he’s been up to in that title, but I’d love to see what new writer Gail Simone does with Beetle! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/35 "2003-12-23T19:47:31Z")
Groo the Wanderer - big, dumb, ugly, two-sword wielding barbarian. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/36 "2003-12-23T20:56:07Z")
I don’t think Groo qualifies as a “superhero,” though. The only super-ability he seems to have is the ability to ignore his own stench… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/37 "2003-12-23T23:16:01Z")
Cerebus? ---
**Author:** ![Patr100](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Patr100](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patr100)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/38 "2003-12-23T23:38:13Z")
Forbush Man. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/39 "2003-12-23T23:45:07Z")
Lobo. Not a hero, per se, and he is muscular, but with the pasty skin color, unkempt appearance, questionable body odor, I can’t imagine many who would find him sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_Snerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Elmer\_Snerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_Snerd)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superheroes-etc-who-are-not-cut-muscular-or-sexy/220566/40 "2003-12-23T23:51:34Z")
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