# Superman starts disposing of nukes, what happens next? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 11, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674 "2016-09-11T17:14:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/21 "2016-09-12T10:21:44Z")
Where would Superman put all these nuclear weapons? Toss them into the sun? Bury them on a distant planet? Could they be locked up in the Phantom Zone? If he could just vaporize them with heat vision, then I agree with the posters who say he could wipe out most of them while TPTB are still saying “Whoa, what???” ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/22 "2016-09-12T13:08:38Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > This is what I take exception to. Kal would absolutely be able to take out every Chinese and Soviet launcher within minutes. We’re talking about someone who can give Barry Allen a run for his money. No need for finesse - just sheer kinetic destruction as he plows through every silo, sub and mobile launcher. If he starts with the Chinese, he could take them out and rip through the Russians by the time anybody knows what is happening. If he really wants to be sure, he then parks himself above the planet and vaporizes any ballistic track he spots. Easy-peasy. That plan would lead to a lot of collateral deaths, something he’s usually not ok with. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/23 "2016-09-12T16:05:08Z")
How far along in the Cold War are we talking here? There farther along we go, the more countries that have nuclear strike capabilities, the less chance he has to control the situation. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/24 "2016-09-12T16:11:43Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > Where would Superman put all these nuclear weapons? Toss them into the sun? Bury them on a distant planet? Could they be locked up in the Phantom Zone? > > If he could just vaporize them with heat vision, then I agree with the posters who say he could wipe out most of them while TPTB are still saying “Whoa, what???” I suppose he could just throw his S at them. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/25 "2016-09-12T16:14:40Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > I suppose he could just throw his S at them. For that matter, they can all go kiss his shiny metal S. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/26 "2016-09-12T16:38:16Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > That plan would lead to a lot of collateral deaths, something he’s usually not ok with. _Could_ lead, not _would_. Depends on how he works it. But yeah, sheer kinetic would get messy. How about: spot-welding the launch doors on all nuke subs, then getting kinetic on the Chinese silos, punching down through the doors into the missile. Repeat with the Soviets. Minimal collateral damage. He could even take his time if the first thing he did was cut communications with whatever is the lowest PAL. A sloppier method would be to goad/force a launch after welding the subs, then kinetic the missiles during boost phase. Or blast them with heat vision. Then go after the remaining launchers. But the fact is, Kal could easily disarm the Soviets and Chinese, who were the biggest threat. I don’t think even the French would go with “Use them or lose them” after that. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/27 "2016-09-12T17:02:25Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’d object. I’d object a lot. I never voted for Superman. Why does he get to decide international policy for the rest of the planet? Who gave him that authority? Nobody: he’s imposing his will on us through raw physical force. That’s the definition of a dictator. Even if his only dictum is, “No more nukes.” > > And what are the odds that he’d stop at that? Superman in the comics is not terrifying because of his strong moral code against (among other things) becoming a tyrant. If he’s willing to bend his code for nukes, who can say what else he might bend it for? I recommend the _Injustice_ comic if you haven’t read it, which I believe is a prequel to the game. Supes gets tricked by the Joker into murdering a pregnant Lois Lane, which in turn triggers a nuclear bomb which levels Metropolis. Unsurprisingly he gets a tad miffed, murders Joker and decides it’s time to him to enforce peace by force, with the other superheroes dividing up with him or against him. It does not make for happy times. But Superman was still better than the aforementioned Authority. Man, when I think of what they did to poor Italy… ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/28 "2016-09-12T17:30:04Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > Russia would suddenly be a an extreme disadvantage, would NATO decide to attack before the USSR could rearm? I’m probably biased, but being from America, I’m sure we are the good guys and would never attack first. NATO does nothing in this regard. Even if Russia rearms, we’d just be where we were before, so we’ve lost nothing. > [@Miller](#): > > Superman unilaterally disarming the world is effectively the death of democracy. Either the nations of the Earth turn against him and get smacked down, or they tacitly admit that he has a veto over all of their legislation, and are careful to only pass laws they think he’ll approve of. Either way, we’ve replaced the rule of law with the reign of Superman, either explicitly or implicitly. I don’t think it would work that way over everything. Superman’s not going to get himself involved in every little piece of legislation. Nukes, on the other hand, can destroy the earth. I think Superman takes out the nukes but leaves us free to fuck with each other in other ways. > [@Miller](#): > > I’d object. I’d object a lot. I never voted for Superman. Why does he get to decide international policy for the rest of the planet? Who gave him that authority? Nobody: he’s imposing his will on us through raw physical force. That’s the definition of a dictator. Even if his only dictum is, “No more nukes.” Given that we had democracy and it led us to nukes and almost the destruction of the human race, why not let someone try it for a change? The human race is not so smart and great that we should be masters of ourselves at any cost. We’ve done terrible things to fellow human beings so much so that I’d happily take a chance with an alien dictator. If the result of being ruled by fellow humans are genocides and nuclear wars, then what the hell are we afraid of the aliens doing that’s much worse? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/29 "2016-09-12T19:07:18Z")
All of this presupposes that Supes tries to take all of the nuclear powers by surprise. What if he’s instead up-front about it? He goes to the UN, and negotiates a treaty whereby all of the nuclear powers voluntarily step down their arsenals according to some fixed schedule. Any nuclear power who doesn’t sign the treaty, or who does but then doesn’t follow the schedule, gets themselves involuntarily disarmed by Superman. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/30 "2016-09-12T19:17:13Z")
If he did it surreptitiously, would any country admit that it had happened? I mean, if you didn’t know for sure that it wasn’t just you that had been disarmed, you’d want to tread very carefully and you certainly wouldn’t want it getting into the media… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/31 "2016-09-12T19:25:15Z")
What if he just disposes of all the “lost” nukes that have gotten into the wrong hands, and all the nukes that don’t officially exist in any country’s records? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/32 "2016-09-12T19:44:12Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What if he just disposes of all the “lost” nukes that have gotten into the wrong hands, and all the nukes that don’t officially exist in any country’s records? Those are a **lot** harder to find. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/33 "2016-09-12T19:58:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Those are a **lot** harder to find. Well yeah…if you don’t have x-ray vision, super-speed and hyperintelligence. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674/34 "2016-09-12T23:20:56Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I have no explanation for Nuclear Man. One of the many things butchered in the editing of the movie (not that it would have been good anyway). I remember it making a lot more sense in the comic adaptation, though I haven’t read that in at least 30 years, but I remember that it (being based on the script, not the finished film, like man adaptations) it made slightly more sense. I think there were even two nuclear men, a failed prototype cut from the movie, then the regular one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/superman-starts-disposing-of-nukes-what-happens-next/765674.md?page=1)