# Suppose I want to be the next Otzi the Iceman... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545 "2009-09-18T03:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/1 "2009-09-18T03:31:43Z")
Let’s say that I want my mortal remains to hang around for a good long time and potentially be interesting to our insect overlords in the year 7000. Based on [Otzi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%96tzi_the_Iceman), [Juanita](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/peru/mummies/preserve2.html), and [John Hartnell](http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=7841255), getting embedded in a glacier or permafrost seems like a reasonable option. OTOH, some of the [bog bodies](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_body) go back just as far and can have even better soft tissue preservation. Nowadays there’s [plastination](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plastination) or the modern mummification of the [Summum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summum#Mummification) organization. I suppose that [irradiation](http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/5216789/description.html) might also be a possibility. Ideally soft tissues would be preserved in such a way that microscopic/chemical/genetic analysis could still be performed. The second half of the equation is finding a spot to squirrel away my corpse so that it’ll stay out of the way for a long time but not be lost forever. Given climate changes, permafrost may not stay that way, and glaciers aren’t necessarily that reliable either. Hot, dry, and salty probably trumps acidic bogs as far as long-term permanance So far I’m thinking my best bet is freeze-drying under controlled conditions. Seal me up in a titanium drum and bolt the whole thing to one of the Transantarctic Mountains. Second choice would be the same technique but getting slotted in with the trash at Yucca Mountain (if and when that goes through). What options am I not considering? ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/2 "2009-09-18T09:25:39Z")
There’s always the old classic of having your organs removed and placed in a canopic jars, followed by entombment in an Egyptian valley. As a bonus, you get to take your TV and PC with you. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/3 "2009-09-18T13:36:41Z")
what about plastination followed by sealing in a container and dropping it into water that is deep enough to be extremely cold and minimally oxygenated? No reason they cant tuck in a few consumer electronics and maybe some space ice cream tang mix and space sticks for confusion factor =) [do they make dehydrated brainz?] ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/4 "2009-09-18T15:28:37Z")
I think that the plastination process, while preserving large-scale structures, would render my cadaver unsuitable for chemical/genetic analysis. So no proving that I am (was? will be?) the 21st century Y-chromosomal Adam, for example. I do like the idea of adding some artifacts from a whole range of human cultures over history, though - some potsherds, a copper knife, iPhone, a Bible bound together with some Tijuana bibles, a necklace of flash drives, etc. ---
**Author:** ![GreasyJack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df705f/32.png) [@GreasyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreasyJack)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/5 "2009-09-18T20:52:08Z")
Seeing as the whole idea of Yucca Mountain is to find a place that future civilizations _won’t_ stumble upon, I’d scratch that off your list. I think a glacier is the way to go. Just entomb yourself at the top of a good-sized glacier and eventually you’ll end up thawing out at the bottom. By looking at the rates of flow, you can probably even shop around for a glacier that will spit you out at exactly the time (give or take a century or three) you’re betting interest in humans amongst insectiod paleontologists will peak. And obviously you don’t want to pick a glacier that’s likely to disappear in the next hundred years, so Greenland or Antarctica might be the safe bets. Also, with the peat, you’re much more likely to be swallowed in the bog forever and turned into coal, so while you might be comforted by the thought that you’d be powering the insectoid’s nefarious steam-powered terror machines, you’d be of little use to their understanding of the past. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/6 "2009-09-18T22:29:43Z")
How about an old salt mine? Have the thing dynamited then sealed to prevent ingress of water so your repose is undisturbed and the salt will draw out the moisture in your body, preserving it until the insects start mining salt. ---
**Author:** ![MikeS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MikeS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeS)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-i-want-to-be-the-next-otzi-the-iceman/510545/7 "2009-09-18T22:47:22Z")
If you’re willing to spare no expense, there’s always outer space. You’d probably want to use a fairly high orbit; a plain-vanilla Low Earth Orbit would degrade after a couple of decades. You might also want to use some kind of cyrogenics (liquid nitrogen should do) to freeze your body, since radiative cooling is not all that efficient and you don’t want to start putrefying before you’re good and frozen. If your funds are truly unlimited, the Moon would make a nice stable place for your earthly (ha!) remains. I recommend a [permanently shadowed crater](http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/09/18/tech-space-cold-moon-crater.html).