# Suppose you had to have sex with... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572 "2000-10-04T03:04:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/21 "2000-10-04T15:26:59Z")
Wouldn’t it kick the shit out of you? I don’t think I would be brave enough to approach a horse form behind with my pants down… Also, Q: Why do the Scottish wear kilts? A: Because the sheep can hear zippers. ---
**Author:** ![Sn-man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sn-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sn-man)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/22 "2000-10-04T15:34:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > \*\*I’ll stick with my LIONsob. \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHA LOL - That just hit me as really funny ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/23 "2000-10-04T15:34:45Z")
I’d go for a mule. Nice and big, but sterile. …not that it matters. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/24 "2000-10-04T16:06:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\*Riiiiight. Well, then I guess if I said pig, you’d squeal as well as grunt. 😉 \*\* Wrong, I squeal like a pig for nobody! ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/25 "2000-10-04T18:02:29Z")
Sorry Whammo. I once tried to screw a penguin, but I couldn’t find the hole. She was cute, but not worth the trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/26 "2000-10-04T19:02:47Z")
A puffin. Yep, stuffin’ a puffin. Maybe a stork. Dorkin’ a stork. Or a Doberman Pinscher? Do a Dobie? Possibly a rabbit! Ram a rabbit! How about a wildebeest? Screw a gnu! A duck! ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/27 "2000-10-04T19:33:19Z")
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all… ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/28 "2000-10-04T20:15:31Z")
Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Finger-bang an orangutan. Orgy at the zoo. ::pauses for applause:: I’m still debating if I should hit the submit button. ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/29 "2000-10-04T20:30:07Z")
Damn smilies. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/30 "2000-10-04T21:31:46Z")
Definitely a Bjork, although I am not sure what species she is categorized under. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/31 "2000-10-04T22:14:42Z")
Well PurpleBear and SpiderWoman come to mind. 😉 - A couple of the seven dwarves go to the local Catholic Church and knock on the door. Doc asks the nun, if they have any dwarf nuns. When she answers no, Docs laughs and shouts, “Dopey screwed a penguin.” \* Trkr ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/32 "2000-10-04T22:51:37Z")
I hear that sheep are most like a woman. I don’t know if the sheep have a G-Spot though. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/33 "2000-10-04T22:54:01Z")
There was this guy, who was traveling through the desert on his camel, and he hadn’t gotted laid in over a year. Finally, he decides to give in and just fuck the camel. So he gets off the camel, pulls his pants down, gets ready to do the deed, and, when the camel figures out what’s going on, runs off. So he’s chasing the camel accross the desert with his pants down, and finally catches up. This time he ties the camel up first, but alas, the camel breaks free and runs away. This time, when he catches up to the camel, he notices off in the distance a broken down car with a beautiful woman standing next to it. Not just any beautiful woman, but The Most Beautiful Woman in the World. As he approaches, she says, “Oh, hi, I’d do _anything_ if you could fix my car.” “Really,” says the man, “anything?” “Anything at all,” says the buxom babe. The man (who, incidentally, used to be a mechanic) proceeds to fix the car in a record 43.2 seconds. “That’s great!” remarks the beautiful woman, “now, what do you want me to do for you?” “Can you hold my camel?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/34 "2000-10-04T23:05:26Z")
An Argentine gaucho named Bruno said “there is one thing I do know A woman is fine a boy is divine but una llama est numero uno” ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/35 "2000-10-05T01:31:10Z")
OH!! A glass full of earthworms! You wouldn’t even have to move, they’d do all the work for you! ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/36 "2000-10-05T01:39:26Z")
A horse. I love horses! But I would settle for a human hung like one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cyndar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/37 "2000-10-05T02:06:07Z")
friedo, you aren’t going to tell jokes like that at the gathering, are you? 😉 Whammo…worms? ick… ---
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/38 "2000-10-05T03:54:42Z")
Hampster Style ---
**Author:** ![Xgemina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/b5e925/32.png) [@Xgemina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xgemina)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/39 "2000-10-05T06:18:50Z")
I’m surprised no one mentioned a kitten–that way you could say you got a little pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/40 "2000-10-05T07:28:47Z")
An octopussy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572.md?page=3)