# Suppose you had to have sex with... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572 "2000-10-04T03:04:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/41 "2000-10-05T10:18:18Z")
For oral sex only, I wouldn’t mind an aardvark, come to think of it. And NO, you sickos, **I** don’t wanna go down on **her**. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/42 "2000-10-05T10:26:23Z")
Or possibly an otter. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/43 "2000-10-06T05:29:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rysdad \* > \*\*A puffin. Yep, stuffin’ a puffin. > \*\* Puffin are pretty tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/44 "2000-10-06T05:59:18Z")
[hijack–friedo’s fault] This other guy wanted to ride through the desert, so he went camel shopping. The camel seller picked him out a good one, and they went for a test drive. Things were going okay until suddenly the camel just stops. Won’t budge. “No problem” says the seller, and hops down. He runs around to the front, looks the camel straight in the eye, and with his hand mimics (um, er…rather) jacking someone off. The camel grins and nods, so the seller trots around back, gives the camel a quick hand job, and they’re off and running. They get back, and the seller assures the man, that should the camel ever stop, this is all that would be required to get it going again. The sale is completed, and the man is off on his journey. About an hour later, the camel stops. Won’t move. The guy hops down, “asks” the camel if he wants a “job”. The camel grins and nods, the man does the deed, and they’re off once again. An hour later, same thing happens. Another hour later, the camel does NOT grin and nod, but vehemently shakes his head from side to side. The guy is at a loss. “I don’t understand. What do you WANT?” he implores. The camel grins and _blows_. [sub]I’m so ashamed…[/hijack–friedo’s fault][/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/45 "2000-10-06T06:00:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*I shag my ferret on a daily basis 😃 \*\* /nick Coldy’sFerret 😉 I have to ask. For what possible reason would I ever **have to** have sex with an animal? ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sue)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/46 "2000-10-08T19:19:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aglarond \* > \*\*Damn smilies. \*\* \*\*sub         [/sub]O         º       sub[/sub]         +         A         " \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/47 "2000-10-08T20:46:00Z")
A lion cub. They wouldn’t be too much for me to handle. (gawd, am i a bestial-pedophile?) A tiger, or panther, they sound sexy too…full of wild animal lust. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/48 "2000-10-08T23:27:14Z")
YOU PERVERTS MAKE ME SICK!!! I am truly disgusted… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/49 "2000-10-08T23:29:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*I don’t know if the sheep have a G-Spot though. \*\* I’d have thought you would have figured that out by now handy. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/50 "2000-10-08T23:32:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > [B For what possible reason would I ever **have to** have sex with an animal? \*\* …well… you know. If it took you out for a nice evening and spent **A LOT** of money on dinner. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/51 "2000-10-08T23:57:19Z")
As all humans are animals (social animals, nonetheless) . . . I’m thinking I’d have to go with the female human. Though which one is a tough call. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/52 "2000-10-09T00:27:38Z")
Well, according to the SDMB Zoo, I’m a "kinky"jou and I only need to be stimulated by having my sides rubbed by someone with bony wrists… Hmmm…it would have to be a really adorable animal. Maybe a cheetah. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/53 "2000-10-09T03:28:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\*…well… you know. If it took you out for a nice evening and spent **A LOT** of money on dinner. \*\* Or if it was well hung, knew how to cuddle, and didn’t make rude remarks about your appearance (parrots are out). Then come on, who else would you WANT to screw besides said animal? Plus if it could go at it five times in one night. I bet my big cats could do that! ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/54 "2000-10-09T17:08:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > **Well, according to the SDMB Zoo, I’m a "kinky"jou and I only need to be stimulated by having my sides rubbed by someone with bony wrists…** I have bony wrists. 😃 And I saw a cheetah at the zoo one time. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572/55 "2000-10-09T23:27:00Z")
Hmmm. Bony wrists do sound actively sexy. What about a hummingbird? Does it count as a vibrator? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suppose-you-had-to-have-sex-with/35572.md?page=2)