Speaking of which–the sitcom plots that drive me completely batty are the ones where EVERY DAMN CHARACTER on the whole show takes a vacation together. Do you normally vacation with all of your friends and coworkers and your mom, too? I don’t. I’m thinking of an episode of Ellen in particular. Who was watching the bookstore?
Flashback episode, serving no purpose whatsoever except…look at the cast in funny 70’s / 80’s clothes!!
There’s Chandler/Ross/Will/Jack with a Flock of Seagulls haircut/oversized shirt/parachute pants on! There’s Monica/Rachel/Grace with big hair/pastels/bows!
There’s Drew/Lewis/Oswald wearing big sideburns/disco clothes/bell bottoms!
Oh, hilarious.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
No, of course not!
Cool Guy: Hey, these cookies/spagetti sauce/brownies/cum cakes are delicous!
Token Loser: Thanks, it’s my grandma’s secret recipe.
Cool Guy: Let’s market them and make millions!
Cut to end of episode:
Big city lawyer: Hello, Mr.Loser, I represent mom’s old fashioned cookies/spagetti sauce/brownies/cum cakes, and we have found your product to be exactly like one that we have in our cookbook here. We insist you stop selling these cookies/spagetti sauce/brownies/cum cakes or we will sue you for every penny your worth.
Cool Guy: Loser! You said it was your grandma’s recipe! Why is it from a cookbook?
Token Loser: Grandma was a lousy cook. (This line, BTW, is always EXACTLY as written.)
WTF? Read some copyright law, they have full legal right to sell that damn food. You cannot copyright food or drink. You can copyright the recipe…that is to say, the written words that make the recipe, but not the actual act of combining those things, cooking them, and having it make a delicious food product. As long as they do not print the recipe with the food they are selling, it is 100% legal. Why do you think so many generic colas try to imitate coke? Because if they somehow got the exact recipe right, they could sell a product exactly like coke but at half the price and not have to worry about anything other than their soaring profits.
There are in fact cookbooks on the market that give recipes designed to taste like KFC chicken (why would you want to? I’m a fried chicken afficianado since birth and I hate KFC), Arby’s roast beef sandwiches, dishes from Applebees and Ruby Tuesdays, etc., etc…
These episodes always reminded me of the UL I’ve heard from umpteen “friend of a friend” sources about the lady who goes into Four Seasons/Tavern on the Green/Antoines/wherever, loves her food, asks for the recipe, receives it from a delighted chef and then receives a bill for $1,500.
I’ve never seen an episode play out in the manner of the rest of your post (though I’m sure it has happened), but I’ve seen numerous instances “Let’s market [whatever] and make millions!” end with the whole house, not just the kitchen, in shambles, while the group doesn’t even earn back their startup money. Usually it’s men or boys in the kitchen, which of course means “shambles”.
(That’s one thing I liked about Roseanne. Dan didn’t have a huge or ambitious repertoire—chili, extra-thick shakes, and similar Midwestern junk food—but everything he made turned out good, and didn’t leave an impossible mess.)
Nah, too lean. Now The Skipper, that’d make a tasty stew. Actually, now that I think about it, I’d rather eat Mary Ann. 
Yay to most of the above. I don’t watch sitcoms, because they are so stupid and so far removed from life (okay they are just entertainment, but there is a limit. In Bewitched we knew that it was a joke etc, but we are not sure in Cheers…).
But what finally got me was ALF. In every episode there was the final ranting, or prophetic burst. I still get annoyed at it.
Yeah, I’ve usually seen it played out as Rilchiam posted. They even come up with professionally printed jars and boxes and labels for their product in no time, sometimes even a little conveyer belt through the kitchen (WTF?), someone will take a huge impossible-to-fill order for said product from a local store or restaurant, and by the end of the episode, the house is covered in food as they race to fill the huge order.
“Fifteen jars of Granny’s secret-recipe spaghetti sauce? We can do that.”
“No, it’s fifty jars! And they need it by tomorrow!”
Hilarity ensues.
On what shows has the “granny’s secret recipe” played out?
I remember Balky and Coozin Larry making Bibby Babka’s but it didn’t really play out like that at all. In fact, they just rolled the dough too quick, and biby babka make you sick.
I remember on Saved By The Bell, they decided to market Screech’s grandmother’s secret spaghetti sauce, only to find out it was from a famous recipe.
Also, on Friends, there was an episode where Monica went nuts trying to figure out the recipe for Phoebe’s grandmother’s oh-so-delicious cookies, only to findout it was the recipe on the back of the Tollhouse bag.
Anyone who walks in on two adults sleeping in bed together and starts a running commentary, with 7 or 8 other people coming into the room and joining in. Or any two adults who have sex without locking the door beforehand, so the above scene can occur.
If they are adult enough to have sex, they should have the brains to lock a door. If anyone does walk in, they should immediate walk out, close the door, and keep their opinions to themselves.
And on the web there are sites like Top Secret Recipes.
Mark Berman’s column at Mediaweek.com
Elton John Tests the Sitcom Waters:
In a potential project for ABC, music legend Elton John is developing a sitcom about an aging rock star and the people around him.Time to get those cringing / wincing muscles limber.
What the ever loving hell is a cum cake?
Or how about when an uptight character (or several characters) get offered a ‘special’ brownie that turns out to be laced with pot. Oh the hilarity that ensues when everyone gets high (without the writers having to have the guts to have characters get high because they actually want to)
Personally if some random leering person offered me a brownie and called it ‘special’ I wouldn’t eat it for anything.
I know they did it on “Family Matters” and “Facts of Life” right off the top of my head, but I know it’s been done on other shows.
Are you sure you wanna know?
Okay, but you have to admit that the pot brownie episode of Barney Miller was pure brilliance. Oh, man, that was a funny episode!
Was that the first time that device was used?
There was a Diff’rent Strokes epsiode where Willis and Arnold were selling the housekeeper’s brownies at school. (Not “special” brownies, just brownies, and not Mrs. Garrett the housekeeper; she had already left.) Anyway, IIRC, she went on strike just as they were getting a surge in orders, so W and A made the kitchen a shambles, and didn’t even produce edible brownies.
There was also a short-lived sitcom called We Got It Made, where the group was marketing remarkably mediocre chocolate chip cookies, which were a success only because a photo of the sexy blonde female lead was in every package. Another kitchen in shambles; another huge financial loss.