# Sure signs a movie sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 6, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839 "2004-07-06T20:57:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/41 "2004-07-07T00:32:03Z")
If they ever brag “Nominated for \_\_\_ Oscars/Golden Globes”, but don’t mention any nominees in particular. This is usually a sign that this is a film that had good sound/lighting/effects, but bad everything else. Also, any film at the video store that 1) has performers of note in it, but 2) appears to have been never released in theaters. That is a very good sign that the film was utterly wretched. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/42 "2004-07-07T00:35:19Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Honestly, does anything really “star” a member of the Wayans family? In retrospect, my post should’ve read “Any involvement whatsoever by any member of the Wayans family, past, present, future, clone, interdimensional, or teleported from the future.” Robin ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/43 "2004-07-07T00:43:54Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > In retrospect, my post should’ve read “Any involvement whatsoever by any member of the Wayans family, past, present, future, clone, interdimensional, or teleported from the future.” Except Damon, [Earth Girls are Easy](http://imdb.com/title/tt0097257/) is pure silly brilliance. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/44 "2004-07-07T00:46:55Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Except Damon, [Earth Girls are Easy](http://imdb.com/title/tt0097257/) is pure silly brilliance. I’ll give you Damon. But the rest of the bunch wouldn’t know funny if it came up and bit them on the ass. Robin ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/45 "2004-07-07T00:50:26Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > If it is a movie adaptation of a 19th Century work of literature produced by anyone born since 1965 ( **Demi Moore** /_The Scarlet Letter_). 1962. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/46 "2004-07-07T00:51:27Z")
Coding retard. [1962](http://imdb.com/name/nm0000193/) ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/47 "2004-07-07T00:52:31Z")
Ohmygod, she was born in Roswell, NM. That explains a _lot_. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/48 "2004-07-07T00:54:45Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I’ll give you Damon. But the rest of the bunch wouldn’t know funny if it came up and bit them on the ass. > > Robin Are we counting TV here? **In Living Color** was a great TV show. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/49 "2004-07-07T00:58:50Z")
…Has the title ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ …Has more then 5 sequels before it, that also pretty much sucked ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/50 "2004-07-07T01:00:07Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I’ll give you Damon. But the rest of the bunch wouldn’t know funny if it came up and bit them on the ass. > > Robin The rest of the family is like a clan of comedy-killing bounty hunters … if there’s amusement in the near vicinity, they will set upon it and tear it limb from limb. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/51 "2004-07-07T01:00:10Z")
Any movie described by Hollywood blurb whores as an “action thrill-ride.” Roller-coaster metaphors are another danger sign. > [@drm](#): > > This isn’t exactly like the other posters answers but when a movie has been shelved for long periods of time there’s a good bet it’s a real piece of crap. I await _Prozac Nation’s_ release with keen interest. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/52 "2004-07-07T01:09:45Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Are we counting TV here? **In Living Color** was a great TV show. _In Living Color_ was a great show, but the funniest characters were played by non-Wayans actors. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/53 "2004-07-07T01:13:53Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Honestly, does anything really “star” a member of the Wayans family? Mike: I have my doubts if this movie is “starring” anyone. Servo: Just your usual stable of David Winters actors. -MST3K on “Space Mutiny” Mrs. Forester: Its about nothing and stars no one. Eat it! -MST3K on “Track of the Moon Beast” Sorry, I sometimes have flashbacks to MST3K and feel I have to share them. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/54 "2004-07-07T01:23:19Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > Sorry, I sometimes have flashbacks to MST3K and feel I have to share them. I lifted my line from _Werewolf_ (or Wahrwuf): “Does any movie really “star” Joe Estevez.” ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/55 "2004-07-07T01:23:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Nonsuch_ > I await Prozac Nation’s release with keen interest. I noticed from IMDB that it was made in 2001, it hasn’t been released _yet_? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/56 "2004-07-07T01:24:30Z")
> [@Neurotik](#): > > Directed by John Woo. Yeah, 'cuz John Woo isn’t considered, like, a luminary of the genre or anything, or like, revolutionized the concept of the action scene or some such nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/57 "2004-07-07T01:38:27Z")
> [@drm](#): > > I noticed from IMDB that it was made in 2001, it hasn’t been released _yet_? Yeah, Ricci appears nude in it as well. Supposedly part of the problem has to do with the director being stubborn about some of the editing, but one never knows. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/58 "2004-07-07T01:45:08Z")
> [@Ilsa\_Lund](#): > > Yeah, 'cuz John Woo isn’t considered, like, a luminary of the genre or anything, or like, revolutionized the concept of the action scene or some such nonsense. He’s the guy responsible for _Hard Target_, _Face/Off_, _Broken Arrow_, _Mission Impossible II_, _Windtalkers_ and _Paycheck_, right? Woo hasn’t done anything worthwhile in over a decade. If you see his name on a movie now, it means it’s bad action schlock that’s over reliant on camera cuts and wire work even for the genre. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/59 "2004-07-07T01:49:06Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > Mrs. Forester: Its about nothing and stars no one. Eat it! > -MST3K on “Track of the Moon Beast” > > Sorry, I sometimes have flashbacks to MST3K and feel I have to share them. “It stars no one and features nothing. I hope you gag on it!” (Sorry to pick nits, but I love Pearl so …) > [@drm](#): > > I noticed from IMDB that it was made in 2001, it hasn’t been released _yet_? It played the fests but has had no proper theatrical release. Last I heard it’s coming direct-to-video this fall … the omens are not good. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/60 "2004-07-07T02:24:18Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Nonsuch_ > It played the fests but has had no proper theatrical release. Last I heard it’s coming direct-to-video this fall … the omens are not good. It’s probably why it confused me. I was sure it was released long ago but I’ve been to a few Toronto Film Fests so I probably just heard about it there. Now I’m curious to see it. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Tuckerfan_ > Yeah, Ricci appears nude in it as well. Now I’m _Really_ curious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839.md?page=4)