# Sure signs a movie sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 6, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839 "2004-07-06T20:57:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/141 "2004-07-08T23:07:22Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > _Office Space_ was hilarious. > > _Wayne’s World_ was OK. > > Everything else sucked. Office Space had nothing to do with SNL. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/142 "2004-07-08T23:24:53Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > Office Space had nothing to do with SNL. Actually, the character who was coveting the stapler was the main character in several short cartoons by Mike Judge that aired on SNL. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/143 "2004-07-08T23:49:12Z")
Which I learned, as soon as I hit the submit button… :smack: If I promise never to post again without reading to the end of the thread, can we pretend I never said that? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/144 "2004-07-09T00:02:40Z")
Unless it’s an anthology-type movie (like the Twilight Zone movie), the more editors or writers a movie has, the more it will likely suck. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/145 "2004-07-09T02:26:59Z")
> [@The Gaspode](#): > > **Martin Lawrence.** > > Can he do anything but open his eyes wide and scream? Is that funny? Why does he keep getting projects? Ditto Chris Tucker. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/146 "2004-07-09T02:42:08Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Unless it’s an anthology-type movie (like the Twilight Zone movie), the more editors or writers a movie has, the more it will likely suck. Heck, how about just “If it’s an anthology-type movie.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/147 "2004-07-09T02:43:09Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Heck, how about just “If it’s an anthology-type movie.” Hmmm…you have a point there. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/148 "2004-07-09T05:39:41Z")
Somehow my name got pulled into the superhero debate, but I think it was **tracer** who brought up that issue. I’ll concede good movies by SNL cast members, but I personally still consider it a warning sign. I guess a good amended rule of thumb would be, ‘if the star is still known primarily as an SNL cast member, current or former, beware.’ Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and maybe Mike Meyers would get passes, while Cheri Oteri, Tim Medows and Chris Farley wouldn’t. And the converse to **Mr. Blue Sky** ’s multiple editor/writer rule: If more than half the main crew credits are the same person (or people with the same last name), it’s probably a crappy low-budget movie. I realize I may be eliminating some quality indies work, but I’ve seen plenty of stinkers that were directed, written, produced, edited, filmed, catered and performed by Joe T. Schmoe. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/149 "2004-07-09T05:48:15Z")
> [@Tikki](#): > > No one’s mentioned that a sure sign a movie sucks is if it features a **natural disaster!** You can be guaranteed that there will be more plot twists and plot devices than actual plot. You can also expect so-so effects. > > A few months ago I saw part of “Twister” on television. Thanks goodness I didn’t pay money for that! The one in “The Wizard of Oz” was more realistic. Who knew you could run though an open field with shards of wooden fence and building whizzing past you at amazing speeds and yet never get so much as a splinter. Yet when you approach a building which is still standing, the thing acts like a shard magnet and is punched full of holes. Kinda like anything resembling realism in that movie. While I thought the movie was decent, I can’t let this go without quoting comedian [Tim Wilson](http://www.capitol-nashville.com/index.cfm?method=artist.artistBio&artistID=27): “I watched ‘Twister’ the other night. Hated it. You mean to tell me that a tornado can pick houses and cars up and throw 'em around, but can’t get a tank top and bra off Helen Hunt? One thing I can’t stand is a gay tornado!” ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/150 "2004-07-09T06:39:53Z")
I think a good rule of thumb is this: a movies is BAD if it is being CONTINUALLY advertised on TV! Take a real stinker…chances are the studio is so desperate to recover its losses, that they decide to spend a bundle of cash to lure the suckers in! Oh, and remakes of classic films are mostly lousy…MGM remade “MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY” in 1962, with the late Marlon Brando…it bombed! Also, and movie promoted by a fast-food chain (like McDonalds) is liable to suck-check ou the “CAT IN THE HAT”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![bodswood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@bodswood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bodswood)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/151 "2004-07-09T06:53:48Z")
‘Written by Richard Curtis’ (except 4 Weddings) You can be assured of a formula of public school types who went to Oxford, a disabled person in a wheelchair, a professional Welshman/Irishman/Scotsman, a gay or two, ‘typical’ English dinner parties with whimsical humour and formica tables, ludicrous love interests, and lots of ‘fucks!’ Oh, and Hugh Grant and no black people. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/152 "2004-07-09T10:39:31Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > When it’s obvious from the trailer that the bought the right’s to a story, kept the title of the story, but cribbed the script from another movie which has _nothing_ to do with the story they bought the rights for ( [Al Gore] _I, Robot_, I’m looking in _your_ direction. [/AG] ). Not to mention _Aliens_, which was a script Jim Cameron was working on until he got the Alien 2 gig and dropped in Ripley and the xenomorphs. Hang on… ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/153 "2004-07-09T10:46:10Z")
> [@Soapbox Monkey](#): > > If The Spirits Within had been titled something other than Final Fantasy, I would have liked it. > > That movie was in no way Final Fantasy. Because of course the plots of Final Fantasy games have anything whatsoever to do with one another. :rolleyes: Re Dan Aykroyd - Grosse Pointe Blank. There’s life in the old dog yet. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/154 "2004-07-09T12:27:07Z")
Re: vampire movies Are y’all forgetting From Dusk Til Dawn, or am I the only one that liked it? ---
**Author:** ![Coelacanth\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Coelacanth\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coelacanth_Soup)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/155 "2004-07-09T13:51:16Z")
Any post 1980 film that during the opening or closing credits plays music by the following artists: Frank Sinatra Dean Martin Louis Armstrong Jimmy Durante etc, especially _Kiss to Build a Dream On_, _I’m in the Mood for Love_, and _La Vie en Rose_ Any film billed as a classic story remade for the 20th or now the 21st century; ie: its Shakespeare with a modern twist, or, its like Jane Austin at cheerleader camp. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/156 "2004-07-09T14:08:18Z")
> [@AmericanMaid](#): > > Two words: Forrest Whittaker It’s fair to say both Mr. Whitaker and I share a fondness for the high concept/tense action thriller and are continually let down by the actual product. He was great in DIARY OF A HITMAN, THE CRYING GAME, BIRD and GHOST DOG: WAY OF THE SAMURAI. Hmm. His character dies in each of those films. Hmm. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/157 "2004-07-09T15:43:11Z")
**"Based on a True Story!"** Usually correct, in the same way that this morning’s steaming roadapple is based on last night’s prime rib, corn on the cob, and apple pie. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/158 "2004-07-09T16:58:58Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > I’ll concede good movies by SNL cast members, but I personally still consider it a warning sign. I guess a good amended rule of thumb would be, ‘if the star is still known primarily as an SNL cast member, current or former, beware.’ Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and maybe Mike Meyers would get passes, while Cheri Oteri, Tim Medows and Chris Farley wouldn’t. I’d say that Mike Meyers does not get a pass. Especially not after inflicting his version of _The Cat In The Hat_ on us. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/159 "2004-07-09T18:38:14Z")
> [@Coelacanth Soup](#): > > Any film billed as a classic story remade for the 20th or now the 21st century; ie: its Shakespeare with a modern twist, or, its like Jane Austin at cheerleader camp. I thought **10 Things I Hate About You** and, particularly, **Clueless** were both fine movies. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839/160 "2004-07-09T19:01:24Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > Because of course the plots of Final Fantasy games have anything whatsoever to do with one another. :rolleyes: So…you’ve never played a Final Fantasy? No, none of them occur in the same universe, but each one is a very very VERY large scale story with dozens of characters and numerous plot twists. For a Final Fantasy movie to be true to anything that could be considered within the realm of the series…you’d be looking at a 3 part trilogy right off the bat. Spirits within wasn’t even 2 full hours, was it? I mean, most of the recent Final Fantasy games have 2 hours of CG cut scenes ALONE, and those only play into a small fraction of the story. I guess what I’m saying is that for a movie to be in the true spirit of Final Fantasy it would have to be a grand epic. Oh, and not so futuristic. Granted, it can be argued that 7 and 8 take place in the future, but then again, they never claimed to be on the post-apocalyptic Earth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sure-signs-a-movie-sucks/253839.md?page=9)