# Surefire way to make yourself pee. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117 "2003-07-13T05:57:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hermann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b487fb/32.png) [@hermann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hermann)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/21 "2003-07-13T17:34:41Z")
Tea works wonders. Remember that Indian who drowned in his teapee? ---
**Author:** ![YiBaiYuan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f475e1/32.png) [@YiBaiYuan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YiBaiYuan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/22 "2003-07-13T18:00:28Z")
**Guybud5** , with the hand you’re using to hold yourself, wiggle your thumb back and forth along the top of the shaft behind the head with moderate pressure. This will bring your focus from those around you back to the task at hand, and the physical stimulation should trigger a release of the clenched muscles. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![jjpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@jjpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjpet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/23 "2003-07-13T18:22:46Z")
Being near a coffee maker while it percolates may help. Between hearing it and smelling the coffee… the power of suggestion is pretty strong. ---
**Author:** ![jjpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@jjpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjpet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/24 "2003-07-13T18:27:09Z")
There’s also some trick that nurses and lab techs use to get babies to pee, where they stroke/tickle the kidney area. Whoever is asking for the urine sample may know how this works. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/25 "2003-07-13T19:04:29Z")
I thought that when you had to provide a sample for urinalysis, that you were provided privacy in the stall unless tester had a good reason to believe that you needed to be closely watched. I suppose this is no longer the case? ---
**Author:** ![daniel801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@daniel801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daniel801)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/26 "2003-07-13T19:50:30Z")
Flush the toilet a couple of times. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/27 "2003-07-13T20:59:59Z")
Strangely, what works for me is to relax my anus muscles, keep them relaxed, and bear down. You might fart, but keep those muscles relaxed anyway, and keep bearing down. The only drawback is that if you also have to shit, that might come out too. Similar to natural childbirth. ---
**Author:** ![robcaro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@robcaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robcaro)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/28 "2003-07-13T21:09:20Z")
I had a physical exam for work at American Airlines in 1998 and they made me strip down to my skin, gave me a cup and put me in a stall to pee. Anything that came out had to be mine because there was no way to cheat on that scenario. And, I had privacy that allowed me to pee freely without any embarrasment. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/29 "2003-07-13T22:08:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by medstar \* > \*\*I thought that when you had to provide a sample for urinalysis, that you were provided privacy in the stall unless tester had a good reason to believe that you needed to be closely watched. I suppose this is no longer the case? \*\* Well, the OP did say that he was in the military. Are there any civilian situations where they watch you give a sample without cause of suspicion? I had a pre-employment drug screening recently, and I had privacy there. My problem always is not being able to give a sample during an appointment because I just don’t have to go. What was so great about this place is that it was a walk-in clinic…I sat around my house drinking iced tea, and once I felt like I had to go, I got in my car and drove over there! I filled that cup with no problem. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/30 "2003-07-13T22:23:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dgs212 \* > Soda contains caffeine, which has powerful diuretic properties. Untrue. [http://www.news.uconn.edu/rel02087.htm](http://www.news.uconn.edu/rel02087.htm) : > [@](#): > > Caffeine consumption causes a mild diuresis very similar to that of water. (Water, when consumed in large volume, increases urine output)… > > A person who regularly consumes caffeine has a higher tolerance to the diuretic effect ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/31 "2003-07-13T23:26:04Z")
I was active-duty Navy for over ten years. Throw in four years of NROTC, and that’s 14 years of hell I went through every time I had to do a piss test. I’ll never forget the first one. It was a ten hour ordeal. I drank water, coffee, cola, and juice until I was ready to explode. However, every time the Master-at-Arms (MAA) showed up to administer the test, my whole urinary tract just clamped down. (BTW, the Navy protocol is for the examiner to have the examinee in his sight throughout the act of filling the cup.) Anyway, I was getting seriously worried that my bladder was going to rupture or something. And the longer the ordeal went on, and the more pissed-off the MAA got at me, the worse it got. Finally, the old guy took pity on me. He searched me for any contraband and let me go into a stall. The floodgates opened. I knew I couldn’t count on this every time, so I was just dreading future tests. During initial training, some were scheduled, always first thing in the morning. I would get up an hour early (at 0430) and make sure I was first in line. Being groggy and half-asleep got me through a bunch of tests. Later on, as I rose in rank, I wasn’t in line with 50 other people. I would just let the examiner know I was “gun-shy.” The examiner would generally keep me in eyesight, but give me a bit more elbow room. This sometimes helped. Other things that helped included running faucets, or repeatedly flushing the urinal. Nevertheless, sometimes it still turned into an ordeal. **Best suggestion I’ve got** : My wife, a nurse, told me that oil of peppermint is sometimes used to stimulate urination in women after giving birth. She got me some, and I used to take a good whiff right before the test. I also popped a peppermint candy in my mouth right before the test. It may have just been psychological, but it helped me get through the last four years’ worth of tests. ---
**Author:** ![ThomasJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c6cbf5/32.png) [@ThomasJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThomasJB)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/32 "2015-10-30T15:25:56Z")
The breath hold technique worked for me - apparently “science says that this slow breathing helps ease the tension in the body and allows you to calm down and let go so that you’re able to pee” There’s an art to it - read about it here: [http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/](http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/) Hope that may help? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/33 "2015-10-30T15:36:52Z")
Possibly for someone, but the OP was dishonorably discharged from the Navy in 2003 for failing to provide a urinalysis sample. Nice going. Also, welcome to the Dope. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/34 "2015-10-30T15:51:38Z")
He finally gets to pee after a 12 year wait. Grab some life vests and pray the surge won’t kill you. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/35 "2015-10-30T15:55:29Z")
> [@ThomasJB](#): > > The breath hold technique worked for me - apparently “science says that this slow breathing helps ease the tension in the body and allows you to calm down and let go so that you’re able to pee” > > There’s an art to it - read about it here: [http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/](http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/) > > Hope that may help? Welcome, belatedly, to the piss party. On a related note, I’m gobsmacked there’s actually a website for “shy bladder syndrome”. And then I’m gobsmacked that I’m gobsmacked by anything on the web, because the web. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/36 "2015-10-30T16:00:25Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > He finally gets to pee after a 12 year wait. Grab some life vests and pray the surge won’t kill you. [del]Un[/del]attended firehose. If memory serves there was another thread along the same lines several years ago and someone, perhaps the good doctor(?), said there’s a muscle controlling that region and after holding your breath the lack of oxygen may cause it to release at some point. Now that’s an extreme oversimplication but I believe it conveys the concept in general. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/37 "2015-10-30T16:25:34Z")
Turn on the water tap and hold your hand in luke warm running water. You might also report this to the staff shrink, and try to get a written dispensation from him that will authorize you to pee in private. It’s a pretty common condition that the shrink will be fully aware of. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/38 "2015-10-30T16:30:04Z")
I think the important point here is that the breath holding method will work if you keep at it long enough. So don’t be one of those people who give up after only ten years. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/39 "2015-10-30T16:34:45Z")
There’s a restaurant in Seattle called Ikon, in the bathroom they have videos on loop above every urinal showing waterfalls, rivers, fire hoses, busted hydrants, sprinklers, etc. All set to “Ride of the Valkyries”. It helps. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/40 "2015-10-30T18:00:17Z")
My favorite method is to close my eyes and imagine that I’m in my own bathroom at home, alone. This causes me to relax and let go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117.md?page=3)