# Surefire way to make yourself pee. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117 "2003-07-13T05:57:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/41 "2015-10-30T18:58:36Z")
There is, I believe, a chemical in automotive hand cleaners (Go-Jo, Goop, et.al) which induces an immediate need to urinate upon contact. The effect is magnified in direct proportion to the coldness of the air in the garage, the abundance of grime on the hands, and one’s tendency to “turtle”. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/42 "2015-10-30T19:10:06Z")
1: bring that up wit the tester, you are not the only one. 2: If needed think of pissing on him or the person who is insisting on it, you got to do what you got to do. This is the karmic effect of what they are inflicting on you. This is karmic payback on them. ---
**Author:** ![boffking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@boffking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boffking)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/43 "2015-10-30T19:14:06Z")
If the OP,hasn’t peed in 12 years he needs to see a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/44 "2015-10-30T19:31:44Z")
> [@ThomasJB](#): > > The breath hold technique worked for me - apparently “science says that this slow breathing helps ease the tension in the body and allows you to calm down and let go so that you’re able to pee” > > There’s an art to it - read about it here: [http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/](http://www.shybladdersyndrome.org/shy-bladder-tips-that-help-to-defeat-the-syndrome/does-breath-hold-practice-really-work-for-paruresis/) > > Hope that may help? I do _not_ want to know what you were searching for that caused this 12-year-old thread to pop up in your search results. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/45 "2015-10-30T21:39:11Z")
> [@robby](#): > > I was active-duty Navy for over ten years. Throw in four years of NROTC, and that’s 14 years of hell I went through every time I had to do a piss test… I take it **robby** wasn’t in special ops, cause then being in the military is really hard. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > …the OP was dishonorably discharged from the Navy in 2003 for failing to provide a urinalysis sample… Not this guy, from Wiki US Navy? [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/US\_Navy\_111215-N-FI736-186\_Engineman\_2nd\_Class\_Nick\_Gall\_discharges\_a\_potable\_water\_hose\_in\_preparation\_to\_connect\_Arleigh\_Burke-class\_guided-missi.jpg](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/US_Navy_111215-N-FI736-186_Engineman_2nd_Class_Nick_Gall_discharges_a_potable_water_hose_in_preparation_to_connect_Arleigh_Burke-class_guided-missi.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2015, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/46 "2015-10-31T03:27:50Z")
i imagine pissing in Scalia’s face. Never fails. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/47 "2015-11-01T05:28:45Z")
> [@TSBG](#): > > i imagine pissing in Scalia’s face. Never fails. **Moderator Warning** \*\*TSBG, \*\* you’ve been around long enough to know that political jabs are not permitted in GQ. This is an official warning. Do not do this again. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/48 "2015-11-01T10:35:38Z")
I think every professional athlete - from Olympic champions to soccer players - would like to know the answer to this: imagine the frustration of winning a Gold medal and then spending hours in doping control. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117/49 "2015-11-01T10:50:27Z")
Do zombies pee? I once read doing something mathematical in your mind will work. Something about the part of the brain keeping you from peeing is also distracted by math. I now do that myself, and it has never failed me. Always multiply my 3s – 3x3=9, 9x3=27, 27x3=81, and by that time it’s usually flowing, but occasionally I need to get up to 81x3=243 but have never had to go beyond that. Try it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/surefire-way-to-make-yourself-pee/188117.md?page=2)