# Survey - If you had to re-create the Bible from memory. . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093 "2004-10-13T21:46:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/1 "2004-10-13T21:46:46Z")
I’ve often had a niggling urge to write a story - a castaway story in which one or more members of a group are permanently marooned away from Earth and try to recreate the Bible. I think it would have to be a committee of three so that they could argue over it properly. They will, of course, cooperate with the rest of the survivors in re-creating History and Government and Science and Technology. What verses could you contribute to such a group? No fair looking anything up. If you make a mistake, that’s part of the process. Also, do you have the names of the books of the Bible memorized? Do you know a summary of what each book contains? Do you know stories, but can’t connect them to a particular book? Do you have an idea of the overall cosmology in which the stories are set? Or a chronology? If you want to play and think your contribution is too long, feel free to mail it to me. Please don’t correct anyone’s contribution. As, in, don’t look it up and supply the proper verse. But if you remember a verse in a different way, feel free to add it. Just don’t look it up first. I’m mostly interested in discovering which verses or stories people are most familiar with, and by exclusion, which verses get ignored. I’m especially interested in the respnses of people who haven’t studied the Bible extensively. Snippets count. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/2 "2004-10-13T22:01:46Z")
Verrry verry little. I could probably not put more than 3 words together in the same order they appear in the bible. And those are “let there be light” ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/3 "2004-10-13T22:04:25Z")
I’d probably be able to recall something about a guy with a beard 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/4 "2004-10-13T22:04:42Z")
I wrote this story in high school. I called it “Today I Am Mark Twain.” Wannabe writer in the future can’t get published, goes on space voyage, ship crashes, rewrites the classics for the survivors. Anyway, to contribute: Genesis: In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. And the vastness was without form, upon the deep. And God separated the water from the sky, day from night, did he. And the evening and the morning was the first day. Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/5 "2004-10-13T22:09:16Z")
I remember that women shall not lay with women as with men, or lay with asses, or the brothers of their husbands, or their father’s brothers, or they shall be unclean and any food they prepare shall be unclean and also they shall be stoned to death and the ass shall be stoned to death too. Or something. And also I remember the bit about “where is your brother” “I am not my brothers keeper” - that story is actually pretty good. It’s got favoritism and jealousy and rage and murder and punishment and eternal wandering and stuff. Also, Jezebel was a whore. She wore makeup so they killed her and she deserved it. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/6 "2004-10-13T22:21:52Z")
Jezebel was thrown from her tower by eunichs, and someone drove a chariot over her. Or she was eaten by rabid dogs. Or were they pigs? The Chinese have an interestingly similar story about an overreaching woman. And there was something about reincarnation, but physically. And somehow it became spiritually. Maybe that was the interpretation. Actually my favorite part of the bible is the book of Revelations. I can make up stuff like that without even trying! “The seas boiled, and the earth burst into flame, and the Beast crawled out and has three numbers upon its brow” or similar. It’s been a long time since I read the bible. I read it all the way through. There were a lot of begats in the first chapter. I also remember that I didn’t like Paul at all. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/7 "2004-10-13T22:28:04Z")
I can give you the first two words of Acts of the Apostles: _Dear Theophilos._ I could also probably give you a decent summary of Luke’s Gospel, since that was the one we studied for our Religeous Education exam at school. But nothing word for word. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/8 "2004-10-13T23:13:42Z")
I can give you John 11:35. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/9 "2004-10-13T23:19:30Z")
Could _sounding_ like the bible count? “And Jesus said unto the israelites. 'Go forth and be at peace with your neighbours” “And Eve ateth the apple, and thus the serpent spoketh that ye shall be condemed in sin” ---
**Author:** ![InvidiousCourgette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@InvidiousCourgette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InvidiousCourgette)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/10 "2004-10-13T23:21:04Z")
My recollections would probably be mostly based on the Simpsons. …and Abel begat Thomas, and Thomas begat Jerremiah, and Jerremiah begat… ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/11 "2004-10-13T23:25:05Z")
Oh, I almost forgot the passage that the wonderful Samuel L Jackson uses so brilliantly in Pulp Fiction. I could do that bit 😃 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/12 "2004-10-13T23:27:42Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Also, do you have the names of the books of the Bible memorized? Do you know a summary of what each book contains? Do you know stories, but can’t connect them to a particular book? Do you have an idea of the overall cosmology in which the stories are set? Or a chronology? Interesting question - (my bias, this would all be from a protestant Christian perspective, which throws another wrinkle into the question) the names of the non-apocryphal books and the names of a few apocryphal ones as well (but I’d miss some). Basic summary of all of the non-minor-prophet books of the Old Testament, and Hosea and Jonah. (the rest of the minor prophets kind of run together - which they shouldn’t, but they do). A basic summary of the non-epistles in the New Testament, and Romans, Hebrews, Philemon, James, the Peters, and the Johns (the rest of the letters run together - which they shouldn’t, but they do). I’m pretty sure about the chronology. And I think if prompted (“wasn’t there something about someone named Jael or something?”) I could sketch in the general story (for most of the histories) and put it in the appropriate book(s). > [@Yllaria](#): > > What verses could you contribute to such a group? A bunch of random stuff that would come to mind at bizarre intervals, but I’ve got almost no idea where any of it is found (I was good at memorizing the words, and horrible at memorizing the references. Luckily, as I’m not stranded yet, concordances are wonderful things). ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/13 "2004-10-14T00:04:30Z")
Thanks guys, I appreciate this. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/14 "2004-10-14T00:35:49Z")
> [@klintypooh](#): > > Oh, I almost forgot the passage that the wonderful Samuel L Jackson uses so brilliantly in Pulp Fiction. I could do that bit 😃 That bit is made up. ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/15 "2004-10-14T00:44:58Z")
I always thought (well since I read it somewhere) that it was a mixture of Ezekiel 25:17 (I think) and bits from the 23rd? Psalm, but I will admit I’ve never been a great reader of the bible myself. At least I can use my :smack: for the fisrt time 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/16 "2004-10-14T00:45:01Z")
> [@Sir Rhosis](#): > > Genesis: In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. Actually, that’s John, I believe. For what it’s worth, I can write the first bit of that in the original Greek. I came up with 8 Commandments off the top of my head. I’m sure the last two wouldn’t elude me for long. I did a one week bible study on the first third of Mark. I believe I could recreate the major points of it pretty faithfully. Genesis and Exodus have all the cool non-Jesus stories (probably not in proper order): Creation, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Noah and the Ark, Joseph and his brothers, David and Goliath, Moses and the Exodus… I could recreate those well enough for the general idea. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/17 "2004-10-14T01:00:20Z")
> [@iamthewalrus(:3=](#): > > Genesis and Exodus have all the cool non-Jesus stories (probably not in proper order): Creation, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Noah and the Ark, Joseph and his brothers, David and Goliath, Moses and the Exodus… I could recreate those well enough for the general idea. David and Goliath wasn’t in Genesis or Exodus. It was in one of the books of Samual. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/18 "2004-10-14T04:30:38Z")
In college, we called this game “Desert Island Bible.” I can do a few psalms (one or two in Hebrew as well), the opening of Genesis, and, if the actual words aren’t an issue, the content, in order, for Genesis, Exodus, Esther, and a chunk of Deuteronomy. Why? Because I was a Talmudic comentary proofreader. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/19 "2004-10-14T08:48:57Z")
The only part that I could come close to quoting accurately (not perfectly, but getting the gist of it) would be the 13th chapter of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, since it is one of my favorite parts of the Bible. “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love [‘charity’ in some versions], I am but a resounding gong or crashing cymbal…If I have faith to move mountains, and give up my body to the flames, but have not love, I am nothing.” I think most people are familiar with the part of that chapter that goes “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. … Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” If I sat down and thought about it, I could recall a lot of little snippets and the general gists of many stories from the Bible. While I don’t recall the exact chapter/verse, another part of the Bible that comes to mind readily are the parables Jesus used about how a shepherd will leave 99 sheep to go look for one lost sheep and how a woman will look around for a dropped coin…so God also takes more joy in one sinner repenting than in 99 virtuous people. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093/20 "2004-10-14T08:55:45Z")
God had a son and it made him happy so he invented Santa to give us presents. Then god lost his son and he wasn’t happy, but being such a good chap he invented bunnies to give us chocolate eggs. Oh and there was smiting. Lots of smiting. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/survey-if-you-had-to-re-create-the-bible-from-memory/269093.md?page=2)