# Susanann lays it out for you. Single? 30+? You've got "problems" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373 "2003-08-29T04:40:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/41 "2003-08-29T14:51:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*It isn’t hypocrisy, it’s a sensible thing to do. \*\* Sensible? Yeah. Let’s see, I never get to have sex with anyone else ever again, and if it doesn’t work out, you get half of my stuff. Sensible. :rolleyes: Funny, most of the women I date these days are divorced and carrying around a load of emotional baggage. I, on the other hand, have retained both my freedom and potential alimony money. Oh, and I can theoretically have sex with anyone I want at any time. (Major emphasis on “theoretically.”) ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/42 "2003-08-29T15:05:05Z")
Ohmigosh! I’m single (very, very, VERY), and 29 - but I have almost exactly 4 months until the dreaded cutoff age! I MUST MARRY! I MUST! MARRY OR DIE!!! Susan ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/43 "2003-08-29T15:23:33Z")
So what if I got married at 29? Does that mean I _almost_ had problems? That I had problems, but they were cured? That I was one year away from magically getting a bumper-load of problems? Please help me, **Susanann**! I need to understand, and only _you_ know the answers! Feh. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/44 "2003-08-29T15:26:24Z")
Well, I’m 25 and the only one of my friends and family my age who isn’t married. Of course 4 out of 5 of those marriages is in the process of or heading rapidly towards divorce. I on the other hand, am blissfully happy coming and going from my own apartment as I please, free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, while the vast majority of them are miserable and have to “hide” things and constantly check in with their husbands. But hey, they’re _married_ right? So it’s all worth it! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/45 "2003-08-29T15:27:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by susan\_foster \* > \*\*Ohmigosh! I’m single (very, very, VERY), and 29 - but I have almost exactly 4 months until the dreaded cutoff age! I MUST MARRY! I MUST! MARRY OR DIE!!! \*\* You know, when I was 30, I was dating Laura. She was a “Marry or die” type. Had I married her, I would now have problems, big time. Being that I didn’t, well – no problem. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/46 "2003-08-29T15:28:28Z")
Of course, being that I’m only 25, I’m still not a freak, like the rest of y’all. [sub]runs off laughing madly[/sub] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/47 "2003-08-29T15:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course, being that I’m only 25, I’m still not a freak, like the rest of y’all. Ha-that’s what _you_ think. Where _I_ come from-if you’re not engaged by 22, you’re just a looser freak old maid. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/48 "2003-08-29T15:34:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*This is plain silliness. The benefits of marriage are primarily legal ones (lower income taxes, for instance) and have little if anything to do with religion. I’m an atheist, but I would still get married–just not in a church. It isn’t hypocrisy, it’s a sensible thing to do. \*\* I don’t live in the US, so lower income taxes don’t apply (and don’t really concern me as I don’t pay income tax for a variety of reasons). I also have no concern with regard to the legal status of a “true” marriage versus a common law version. Hooking up, shacking up and bonking until my kness turn to jelly are all things I have a high comfort level with, but my belief still stands the marriage is religous institution. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/49 "2003-08-29T15:41:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > \*\*I thought marriage was about saying to a person, “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I mean it so much that I want to show off to friends and family!” > \*\* Not picking a fight, but what in the hell do friends and family have to do with it? Saying those words to your partner is what matters, not having an audience. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/50 "2003-08-29T15:42:33Z")
> [@](#): > > from _susan\_foster_ > Ohmigosh! I’m single (very, very, VERY), and 29 - but I have almost exactly 4 months until the dreaded cutoff age! I MUST MARRY! I MUST! MARRY OR DIE!!! So now the big question is, would a 29-year old non-freak (who is closing in on a birthday) risk marrying a 30+ freak to avoid gaining Freakdom status of her own? Or is it mandatory that an under-30 non-freak also find another under-30 non-freak to avoid the taint of Freakdom passed through spousal contact? Gosh this is so confusing. I hope Susanann can enlighten us? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/51 "2003-08-29T15:53:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sirtonyh \* > \*\*Not picking a fight, but what in the hell do friends and family have to do with it? Saying those words to your partner is what matters, not having an audience. \*\* It’s the “show-off” factor. Knowing someone loves you is a wonderful thing. Knowing that other poeple know someone loves you makes it, for many people, seem more real/believable. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/52 "2003-08-29T16:07:53Z")
## Fred quote: Anybody over 30 who has never been married, probably has problems, or else must have a very good reason why(e.g fiance died, was in prison, etc). * * * ## I think Susanann has some messed up priorities - being unmarried means your a freak, unless you’ve been in prison for 10 years or so. Then you’ve no problems at all. What if you were in prison for killing your fiance? I am over 30 and I assure you that I have no problems well…except that I drink a lot, and I tend to womanize a little and treat women like objects, and I’m a tad immature at times, and I have what one might call “commitment issues”, and some people might be inclined to describe me as “brash and arrogant” and somewhat “shalow” and my girlfriend did mention something about a distinct smell of “meat” that was emitting from my appartment other than that, I think I’m pretty normal. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/53 "2003-08-29T17:02:29Z")
Ok, this means that I have over 7 1/2 years to find Mr. Right and tie the not…better start searching :rolleyes: Actually, I’ve heard statistics that people who marry young (under 21) have a very high divorce rate. My parents married at 25 (Dad) and 21 (Mom), but were childfree-by-choice for several years. Susanann is probably on her fourth marriage sneering at all the happy single people. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/54 "2003-08-29T17:41:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > One of my goals in life is to be 30 and unmarried. But then, some might say that I have “problems” ('course, one of my problems is people telling me that I got problems, so **go fuck some C4** , all righty?). Just had to point out that the bolded bit above made me laugh out loud… it’s the best Pit insult I’ve seen in many a day. And I hope **Susanann** takes it to heart. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/55 "2003-08-29T17:51:05Z")
I’ve been reading through a bunch of the linked threads. So far, I’ve read highly entertaining, yet somewhat scary threads on Gun Control, Racism, Pants and something to do with who is allowed to die in defense of America (apparently I don’t qualify). Now I have a proposal for the admonistrators; This woman needs her own, specialized, version of the pit. Feel free to come up with names for this forum. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/56 "2003-08-29T18:06:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > \*\*It’s the “show-off” factor. Knowing someone loves you is a wonderful thing. Knowing that other poeple know someone loves you makes it, for many people, seem more real/believable. \*\* Okey dokey then, now I understand. I would however be remiss in not pointing out that all women in the known universe go weak at the knees at the mere sight of me and that this manages to piss of every man in the known universe. Hence, your point doesn’t really apply to me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/57 "2003-08-29T18:15:47Z")
> [@](#): > > …a proposal for the admonistrators… Now _that_ is a useful neologism. ---
**Author:** ![artemis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@artemis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/artemis)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/58 "2003-08-29T18:20:58Z")
I honestly don’t see why everyone is giving **Susanann** such a hard time about that comment. After all, she’s absolutely right. If you’re 30+ and still unmarried , you DO have a problem. A big one. You have to put up with people like **Susanann** telling you what a freak you are because you haven’t “grown up and settled down” yet! 😃 That’s certainly a big problem in my book. (40+ here, and proud of my ten years of Freakdom!) ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/59 "2003-08-29T18:46:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*So now the big question is, would a 29-year old non-freak (who is closing in on a birthday) risk marrying a 30+ freak to avoid gaining Freakdom status of her own? Or is it mandatory that an under-30 non-freak also find another under-30 non-freak to avoid the taint of Freakdom passed through spousal contact? > \*\* Wow…this is an important question. I need to know so I can decide whether the taint of **Edward The Head’s** freakdom can be overcome by my almost-freakdom or if we would just be doomed forever because of the combination of the two. Or I could just go hide in my closet for the next 10 days, then come out and revel in my own freakdom. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/60 "2003-08-29T18:57:39Z")
Since I just turned 36, it seems that my best course of action would be to find a time machine ASAP and go back in time at least 7 years and commit a crime that will get me at least 11 years in jail. I’ll have been in jail, and I’ll be convicted felon when I get out, but at least some raging loon on the internet won’t think I have ‘problems’. I’ll sleep better tonight knowing I have a solid plan of action. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=4)