# Susanann lays it out for you. Single? 30+? You've got "problems" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373 "2003-08-29T04:40:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Giggle\_Gaggle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@Giggle\_Gaggle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giggle_Gaggle)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/81 "2003-08-30T01:17:00Z")
May I direct your attention to the fact that practically everyone who objects to the premise at hand is a 30+ single person, therefore freak under definition suggested by premise, therefore influenced by conflict of interest in the matter. Such tainted opinions cannot be taken seriously. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/82 "2003-08-30T01:31:22Z")
**Giggle Gaggle** - Don’ that thar mean idle theory/guess-work is a whole bunch more valid than experience of the circumstances ? You ain’t sayin’ that is yer ? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/83 "2003-08-30T01:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > **Honestly, the its the idea of getting married _before_ thirty that seems weird to me. That’s just way too young.** As always, take all generalizations with a butt-load of salt. I know quite a few commited, loving, successful marriages that started well before the mystical number ‘30,’ and show strong signs of going the distance. I also know marriages from _after_ that mystical number that are moribund. Guess what I mean is: There are no hard-n-fast rules! Make it up as you go along! Do what’s right for _you!_ Don’t conform for conformity’s sake! Think fer yerself! If _that_ doesn’t make **Susanann** ’s head explode, nothing will. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/84 "2003-08-30T03:15:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Oh, boys – Have I ever shown you how I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue? \*\* _\_ So can I. Wanna race? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/85 "2003-08-30T03:27:31Z")
People, we’re talking about a poster who told us that it was illegal for women to wear pants prior to the 1970s. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/86 "2003-08-30T03:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\ ***county** , > > Take a little walk to the nearest hospital and mosey on down to ob/gyn. I’m sure if you explain to the nurse there the reason for your visit, she’d be more than happy to escort you into a room where you can witness the miracle of a bloody, naked, screaming birth with your very own eyes! > > Aint nature great? \*\* What is relationship to a relationship? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/87 "2003-08-30T03:57:09Z")
CERVAISE – > [@](#): > > \ So can I. Wanna race? Y’know, a host of replies spring to mind, but I find I haven’t had enough wine to post any of them. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/88 "2003-08-30T03:58:30Z")
> [@](#): > > What is relationship to a relationship? Is this an attempted koan? A drive-by attempted koaning? Do you have a license to koan in this zone, grasshopper? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/89 "2003-08-30T04:01:03Z")
Just to play along with **Giggle Gaggle** and **Miller** : Here we have a man who married in his 20s, is now in his 30s, never had so much as a hiccup in his relationship with his wife, and I’m with **bernse**. **Susanann** is so fulla _somethin_’ with that wonderful generalization that her eyes are turning brown. Without thinking real hard about it (not one of my strengths, anyway) I can come up with examples of couples married before 30 who failed miserably, after 30 who failed miserably, married before 30 who worked out pretty damned well, and after 30 who worked out equally well. In my own extended family, including in-laws. So yeah, all sweeping generalizations are pretty stupid, including this one. [sub]This concludes this evening’s presentation of _ **Three Steps Forward, Three Steps Back Dance Theater** _. Thank you for your patronage and please deposit trash in the proper receptacles on your way out.[/sub] > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Guinastasia** _: > **People, we’re talking about a poster who told us that it was illegal for women to wear pants prior to the 1970s.** I used to have that poster on my wall back in the late 70s… It was a blacklight poster, right? Flaming skull with a joint in his mouth, big word balloon off to one side… [sub]What? It’s who’s what now? Oh, well that’s different then. Nevermind.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/90 "2003-08-30T05:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giggle Gaggle \* > \*\*May I direct your attention to the fact that practically everyone who objects to the premise at hand is a 30+ single person, therefore freak under definition suggested by premise, therefore influenced by conflict of interest in the matter. Such tainted opinions cannot be taken seriously. \*\* I wasn’t going to say anything, but I will now. I’m unmarried, 21, and no plans to get married in the forseeable future. In my opinion, finding the right person is far more important then when you marry, be it 18 or 100. Oh, and I think Susann has crossed the border. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/91 "2003-08-30T07:02:02Z")
What are all you single (pffft!) people going on about??? How dare you! At least your hanging with the _cool_ set, right? The fortunate ones. So unique and having it all with your anarchy and your fancy _difficulties_. Just rub it in our faces, why dontcha? Me, I ended up being a damned conformist and I didn’t even know it! I hate my mundane, colorless married world. For only bringing my delusion to light, I can now see the error of my ways. ::: sob ::: If only someone like our wise **Susanann** would have brought it to my attention that marrying BEFORE 30, alas at the tender old age of 25 no less, was sure to cost me big time, I would have reconsidered. I mean, shit, I _want_ to be a freak! I want a badge and a mug and whatever nifty honors and secret handshakes must come with _belonging_. I loathe this lock-step, follow-the-leader life-style. Forget being in love. I wanna be different!! I wanna get my freak on and finally own that friggin’ toaster. What’s a loser like me to dooooo? I am a sad creature. ::: wah ::: So, if I get divorced now, even though I’m an ungodly 35, can this freakiness be retroactive? Is that feasible? Is there help for such a serious faux pas? Can I get extra points and problems for rectifying such an unthinkable situation? Better yet, will I also have the blessed disapproval of the esteemed **Susanann** to add to my repertoire so that I’ll know I’ve done the right thing instead of just following the crowd? I HAVE to be a part of this club man. If not, no one will ever play with me again. Please, someone help me. Set me straight and show me where to sign on the dotted line so I won’t waste anymore time missing all the greener pasture on the other side of the fence. Life has to be more interesting there, because hell, having no problems, living so carefree and natural, is simply brutal. It has all the appeal of watching Pat Boone in a Skinemax movie with Barbara Bush. I want y’all’s drama and purpose and pursuit of being against the man. It just isn’t fair. I’m so jealous of you blessed folks. I guess I’ll just be a poser until I can resolve my hopeless situation. Unless my circumstances make me doomed to a forever dose of Stepford Wife-ness. I think I’ll go pout now and ponder all the super hassles that’ll be coming my way once I’m back on the right track. If that’s possible. If not, I can always try pissing off the Domesticity goddess or that other god, the one of Happy Matrimony. I promise to try with all my little pathetic, unquestioning, lemming-like heart. Until then though, I will thank God there is someone to preach the gospel to us unenlightened lackeys. **Susanann** , both me and the hubby (perhaps I can only hope that he’ll soon be my ex) salute your candor, vision and staunchness to the DREAM. You are a true prophet out of the wilderness. I am forever grateful that you spread your pearls of treasure before this swine. ::: bows in awe ::: I will patiently await further instructions and pray that I’m able to not only fulfill my task to end this complete normal bondage, but strongly and proudly wear my (if I attain such an enviable status – I hope, I hope!) freakhood with the other soldiers in this vast army of post-traditionalists. Viva la freaks! When the yearly get-together is scheduled, please let me know, because surely, by then I will be free. And I’ll make toast. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/92 "2003-08-30T07:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > \*\*What is relationship to a relationship? \*\* Brain and brain, what is brain? ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/93 "2003-08-30T10:23:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Is this an attempted koan? A drive-by attempted koaning? Do you have a license to koan in this zone, grasshopper? \*\* **Jodi** , you just made my day with this. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/94 "2003-08-30T11:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > **sirtonyh** : I thought marriage was about saying to a person, “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I mean it so much that I want to show off to friends and family!” That’s not a marriage. That’s a wedding. Big difference. > [@](#): > > **Guinastasia** : People, we’re talking about a poster who told us that it was illegal for women to wear pants prior to the 1970s. _Now_ I remember! I knew that name was familiar! There are some legal advantages such as the surviving spouse having the higher social security income, “family only” access to patients in the hospital, the ability to cover your S.O. on your insurance, etc. But you don’t get married for those reasons, I hope. I think it’s going to be a wonderfully funny world when all of the gay people _finally_ can legally marry and all of the straight people choose not to! ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/95 "2003-08-30T11:47:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoe \* > \*\*I think it’s going to be a wonderfully funny world when all of the gay people _finally_ can legally marry and all of the straight people choose not to! \*\* “You’re going to get married? That is _soooo_ gay!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/96 "2003-08-30T15:06:31Z")
Susanann sure has some problems. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/97 "2003-08-30T15:57:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > **license to koan** Now _that’s_ a Bond movie I’d like to see! My parents have been married 31 years. When I get married, I want it to last like that. So I’m gonna take my time and make sure I’ve found someone I can spend the rest of my life with – if it takes me till I’m 65, no problem. I’ve seen many friends and acquaintances rush into engagements and even marriages. Like the couple whose wedding I went to, then less than a year later there was talk of getting the marriage annulled, and a year or so after that I ran into the woman on a train – she was accompanied by her infant son and his father, who was not the man she’d married. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/98 "2003-08-30T17:44:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > \*\*What is relationship to a relationship? \*\* Can I get that one more time in English? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/99 "2003-08-30T17:48:00Z")
Thank you, RATTY, kind sir. Usually the only one I’m amusing is me . . . . ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/100 "2003-08-30T23:36:57Z")
Gee, I was going to post about myself as a counter-example: A non-single person who didn’t get married until I was almost 36. Then I remembered that OOPS, I’M A FREAKING DYKE so my whole wedding thing with the rings and the officiant and my parents and my community and the domestic partnership registry and Vermont and all probably doesn’t count. I hope this doesn’t mean \*\* that Susanann’s\*\* right. I knew I should have married that karate guy with all the tattoos when I was 25. Then I’d be normal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=6)