# Susanann lays it out for you. Single? 30+? You've got "problems" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373 "2003-08-29T04:40:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/101 "2003-08-30T23:42:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > What is relationship to a relationship? Obviously depends on your definition of ‘is’. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/102 "2003-08-31T00:46:33Z")
Snap poll: What would it take for you to go on a date with Susanann? Please preface your answer with your age and relationship status. For me: Age: 42 Relationship status: single Requirement: two-hundred thousand dollars and a full suit of body armour ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/103 "2003-08-31T01:18:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Shoshana wrote: > > I knew I should have married that karate guy with all the tattoos when I was 25. Then I’d be normal. Yeah. Damn, you sure messed up when you had your big chance, didn’t you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/104 "2003-08-31T04:05:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Incidently, how do you like that walker you got for your birthday? 😉 \*\* Heh Heh Heh. Talk about a low blow! You smartass! ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/105 "2003-08-31T05:15:35Z")
Wow! I just learned that pants were illegal for women to wear. It makes sense now that James Brown would sing about “Hot Pants.” I had issues in my 20’s. Hell, at 40 I have issues. Financial dire straights is not one of them anymore. Almost everyone has some problems, even if it is not having met someone that they want to marry. So you are 30 and still want to fuck around. Do you have problems? Maybe, but would marrying a spouse make it better? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/106 "2003-08-31T07:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*Snap poll: > > What would it take for you to go on a date with Susanann? > \*\* A lobotomy ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/107 "2003-08-31T09:46:00Z")
Psst! **Jodi**! I’m a girl. ---
**Author:** ![zwaldd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9adbd/32.png) [@zwaldd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zwaldd)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/108 "2003-08-31T17:11:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*they have yet to find someone that they want to settle down for the rest of their lives with. \*\* I think that falls under the ‘very good reason’. Susanann’s comment wasn’t really that bad…I personally don’t know anyone over 30 who hasn’t been married, doesn’t have problems, or doesn’t have a very good reason for not having married. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/109 "2003-09-01T08:09:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > **What would it take for you to go on a date with Susanann?** I’d rather bob for scrapple. ---
**Author:** ![Lesbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lesbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lesbia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/110 "2003-09-01T14:12:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > Oh, boys – Have I ever shown you how I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue? I’m a woman, but . . . how YOU doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Lesbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lesbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lesbia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/111 "2003-09-01T14:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > Oh, boys – Have I ever shown you how I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue? I’m a woman, but . . . how YOU doin’? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lesbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Lesbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lesbia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/112 "2003-09-01T14:44:43Z")
Good Lord! My flirt with Jodi caused me to double-post! What will my over-30 fiance think?! Regarding marrying or not marrying and atheism and hypocrisy and the “natural” state of man, etc., etc. **county!** You honestly think that humankind’s natural state is to remain monogamous for our entire adult lives?? My fiance and I are not Christians and we struggled about the marriage thing too, mainly because my religious relatives made it clear that they didn’t respect our commited relationship. It was like: if you’re not married, then clearly you just don’t love each other enough. That annoyed us to no end, so we–for a long time–never intended to get married. We came to realize, however, that we were letting _them_ influence our decision on whether or not we’d marry. Also, like some of you have also experienced, I was married very young (20), and it ended so horrifically, I had vowed never to do that again. But I’d not counted on the fact that I’d meet someone in my 30s who I would trust with my life. And I’d not counted on the fact that I’d meet someone in his 30s who would love me back. But here we are–38 & 39–planning our wedding. Why? Because we decided not to let my closed-minded relatives dictate our behavior. Because my job does not offer health benefits and his does. Because we want to throw a big party to celebrate how we feel about each other (you’re completely right, **Zoe** , that weddings and marriages are two different things, but it’s sure a heck of a lot of fun to throw a big party!). Will marriage “solidify” our commitment? Hell no; it’s already solid. Will marriage “bring us closer together”? Hell no; we’re as close as two people can be without smothering each other. Then why are we doing it? Because we want to. But now I’m worried, because he’s 39 and has never been married. I had no idea that I was marrying someone with “problems.” Why have I not seen this in the 3 years that I’ve been living with him? Thanks a LOT **Susananne!!** ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/113 "2003-09-01T15:17:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zwaldd \* > \*\*I think that falls under the ‘very good reason’. Susanann’s comment wasn’t really that bad…I personally don’t know anyone over 30 who hasn’t been married, doesn’t have problems, or doesn’t have a very good reason for not having married. \*\* I wonder what kind of area you live in. Is there a high proportion of professional people or mostly blue collared laborers? I ask this not to be insulting, but because I’ve noticed when I visit my brother’s family in Tucson, all of their friends are married with children, and most of them aren’t even in their late twenties yet. I’m considered an old spinster when I’m there at the ripe old age of 25. On the other hand, none of them have a college education, they all hold blue collar jobs or stay home with the kids and they’re all dirt poor. It makes sense for them to get married early. Not everyones situtation is the same. Also **Susanann** ’s “excuses” were more along the lines of jail time. I don’t think “I haven’t found the right person” is something she’d consider a “very good reason”. Then again, she’s too much of a chickenshit to show her face in this thread, so we may never know. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/114 "2003-09-01T16:24:18Z")
**Susanann** is insane. And not insane in a funny “you so crazy!” kinda way. I’m talking, the woman is seriously touched in the head. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/115 "2003-09-01T19:29:17Z")
[ Regarding marrying or not marrying and atheism and hypocrisy and the “natural” state of man, etc., etc. **county!** You honestly think that humankind’s natural state is to remain monogamous for our entire adult lives?? My fiance and I are not Christians and we struggled about the marriage thing too, mainly because my religious relatives made it clear that they didn’t respect our commited relationship. It was like: if you’re not married, then clearly you just don’t love each other enough. That annoyed us to no end, so we–for a long time–never intended to get married. We came to realize, however, that we were letting _them_ influence our decision on whether or not we’d marry. . Will marriage “solidify” our commitment? Hell no; it’s already solid. Will marriage “bring us closer together”? Hell no; we’re as close as two people can be without smothering each other. Then why are we doing it? Because we want to. But now I’m worried, because he’s 39 and has never been married. I had no idea that I was marrying someone with “problems.” Why have I not seen this in the 3 years that I’ve been living with him? Thanks a LOT **Susananne!!** \*\* [/QUOTE] Sure I think establishing a relationship or connection is the natural state of mankind. Didn’t you ever watch Father Knows Best, Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver. I think all that shit about being complete/whole as a person before entering a relationship is a crock. I never knew anybody who didn’t have problems/issues/whatever either before or after marriage and before and after 30 - and it ain’t just the people I know - that is the natural state of mankind. Dealing with those things is what separates the men from the boys (so to speak). Also, what has religion got to do with marriage (unless you specifically want it to) Also, my s/o can do that cherry stem thing but it don’t solve all the problems. Me, I’d go out with Ms. S., if she picked up the tab the first outing. Oh and we’d need to take separate cars so I could leave if things got ugly. ---
**Author:** ![zwaldd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9adbd/32.png) [@zwaldd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zwaldd)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/116 "2003-09-01T20:17:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*I wonder what kind of area you live in. Is there a high proportion of professional people or mostly blue collared laborers? \*\* In a word, yes… Austin, TX. ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/117 "2003-09-01T20:21:25Z")
pah! Not only am I not married at the age of 31, I didn’t have a romantic relationship until I was…_Gasp_ 28! and I didn’t have erm…‘carnal relations’ until I was _gasp_ 29! Oooooooo, I must be really abnormal. Some random idiot on the internet will think I have ‘problems’. I’ll be weeping copiously into my pillow tonight! Yum…damp pillow! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/118 "2003-09-01T20:25:51Z")
As **Susanann** might say, better a damp pillow than damp panties, or something. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/119 "2003-09-01T20:28:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*What would it take for you to go on a date with Susanann? > \*\* Well, I would go out with her once, but she would have to pay, and I wouldn’t act like I was with her when we were in public or anything. Oh, and she’d have to buy me a six-pack. Bud is fine. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373/120 "2003-09-01T21:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zwaldd \* > \*\*In a word, yes… Austin, TX. \*\* I take it the “yes” means both. I probably should’ve been more specific with my question. Are the people you’re speaking of (every last one of them married before 30) mostly professionals or mostly laborers? Disclaimer: I am NOT stereotyping, nor am I aiming to offend any blue collared workers. I’m simply trying to get a more vivid picture and better sense _in general terms_ of the people **zwaldd** is referring to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/susanann-lays-it-out-for-you-single-30-youve-got-problems/198373.md?page=7)