# Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842 "2015-12-08T19:42:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/1 "2015-12-08T19:42:18Z")
[Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator While Hiding From Police In A Pond](http://news.yahoo.com/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator-while-hiding-104133932.html) For some reason, this reminded me of a joke from _Adam-12_. Officer Reed relates this story: > [@Officer Jim Reed](#): > > This guy goes into a bar one night. He’s this little neat man with glasses. He’s got this funny looking squatty dog on a leash. And he walks up and orders a beer. Just a few feet away from him is another fellow, a big man. He’s got a great big ferrous dog with him; I mean like the biggest dog you ever saw. I mean like a Great Dane, with teeth about this long, I should of told you. The little funny looking dog was yellow. Well the big guy he looks over at the little guy then looks down at the yellow dog and he barks out laughing. And he says, ‘That’s the funniest looking dog I’ve ever seen!’ And the little guy just nods and says, ‘I agree with you. He’s not much for looks, but he sure can fight.’ And the big guy says, ‘Uh uh, my dog’s the fighter. There ain’t a dog in the world that can whip him.’ Anyway they went like this for a few minutes. Pretty soon the big guy says, ‘OK put your money where your mouth is, sport. I’m gonna bet you five hundred dollars my dog can beat yours.’ So the big guy and the little guy they made the bet. And they took the dogs out into the alley. Now the big guy he sics the Great Dane on the little yellow dog. For about ten seconds all you could see is brown fur flying. And pretty soon the Great Dane, he takes off with his tail between his legs just whipped. The big guy stood there and shook his head and said, 'I didn’t think there was any dog that could whip mine, let alone a little runny thing like that. 'And the little guy said, ‘Maybe I should of mentioned it. Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow he was an alligator.’ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/2 "2015-12-08T20:07:05Z")
And they killed the gator. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/3 "2015-12-08T20:08:34Z")
Oh, man I wanted to be the first to post this – hid from the police, but forgot to hide from the alligator. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/4 "2015-12-08T20:13:45Z")
The great dane was made of iron? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/5 "2015-12-08T20:16:09Z")
That’s one burglar who won’t be coming down the chimney. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/6 "2015-12-08T20:19:20Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > And they killed the gator. ☹ How did they know it was the right gator? Was it wearing a brand new pair of [Convict Shoes](http://jailhouseapparel.com/collections/prison-inmate-shoes)? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/7 "2015-12-08T20:26:18Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > How did they know it was the right gator? Was it wearing a brand new pair of [Convict Shoes](http://jailhouseapparel.com/collections/prison-inmate-shoes)? :eek: From the OP’s link: “Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/8 "2015-12-08T20:27:00Z")
Hiding in a pond in Florida has to make him a prime candidate for a Darwin Award. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/9 "2015-12-08T20:34:04Z")
Oh – I was a kid when I saw the _Adam-12_ episode, but ISTR thinking the joke wasn’t very funny. I also STR that Pete Malloy thought it was stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/10 "2015-12-08T20:36:02Z")
The gator was just standing his ground! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/11 "2015-12-08T20:40:21Z")
> [@CannyDan](#): > > From the OP’s link: > > “Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.” I know WHY they have to kill the gator, but I regret the necessity. This jerk was robbing people and hiding in the gator’s abode. I’d want to take a piece out of him too. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/12 "2015-12-08T20:48:40Z")
If the gator did a better job, the cops never would have found the guy. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/13 "2015-12-08T20:53:26Z")
Yeah, he should have digested faster. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/14 "2015-12-08T21:18:20Z")
So the gator took a bite outta crime? ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/15 "2015-12-08T21:20:20Z")
Alligators are messy and wasteful feeders. Their teeth are all conical – great for holding on, but lousy for cutting/tearing. They often save large prey underwater, allowing it to rot so it is easier to dismember. That’s likely why there was an actual body to be found. Gator snapped off some easy parts, perhaps extremities, and cached the rest for later. Gators are fascinating creatures and one of my favorites. But frankly we have a surplus. Most of them don’t recognize humans as prey, and are fearful of our presence. That’s a really good thing, because there are at least 1.5 million of them in Florida and if they had the disposition of Nile Crocodiles or Indo Pacific (Australian Salt Water) Crocodiles, all human residents would be in considerable danger. Luckily, gators are mostly big wussies. You have to be really dumb and get really, really close to become a target. As this burglar apparently found out. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/16 "2015-12-08T23:47:48Z")
Great, now I have “Amos Moses” stuck in my head. > [@](#): > > Well the Sheriff got wind that Amos > Was in the swamp tracking alligator skin > So he snuck in the swamp, gonna get the boy, > But he never come out again > Well I wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to? > Well you can sure get lost in the Louisiana Bayou! Sorry your last meal was Floridian ☹ ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/17 "2015-12-09T00:24:54Z")
My country’s version of the dog fight story was a scawny old dog vs. a giant german shepherd. it turns out the former was a scrawny, hungry lion. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/18 "2015-12-09T12:16:04Z")
I find stories like this interesting. Because the dead guy was a suspected burglar, we find it amusing, similar to karma coming back on him. Is it because we think that death is an appropriate punishment for robbing innocent victims? If this story was about resident wading into a pond to retrieve something and being inadvertently attacked and killed by the gator, the tone of the article and reaction by people reading the story would be much different…more empathy. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/19 "2015-12-09T12:48:00Z")
From The Kingston Trio’s “Everglades”: > [@](#): > > Where a man can hide and never be found > And have no fear of the bayin’ hounds > But he better keep movin’ and don’t stand still > If the 'skeeters don’t get him then the 'gaters will mmm ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842/20 "2015-12-09T15:02:29Z")
Omar Little: > [@](#): > > I find stories like this interesting. Because the dead guy was a suspected burglar, we find it amusing, similar to karma coming back on him. Is it because we think that death is an appropriate punishment for robbing innocent victims? If this story was about resident wading into a pond to retrieve something and being inadvertently attacked and killed by the gator, the tone of the article and reaction by people reading the story would be much different…more empathy. Well sure, there’ll be more empathy for a person being killed in a place where he has some business being than for a person being killed because he went somewhere he shouldn’t have been. Just because we don’t consider burglary to be a capital crime doesn’t mean that he deserves sympathy when he could have avoided that fate simply by being a decent citizen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/suspected-burglar-killed-by-alligator/739842.md?page=2)