# Sweet Willy joins the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480 "2002-04-08T13:49:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/1 "2002-04-08T13:49:25Z")
Another transcript of the secret meeting of the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society **SeaSorbust** : Y’know guys, I’ve been posting on other topics than flaming asteroid doom and I think I kinda like it. I don’t really feel like I fit in here anymore, but I’ve got a doozy of a replacement for me: **Hiyruu** : Does his name cosmically harmonize with **Phi**? **Sea** : Um. Sure? **K-K** : Does he like oral sex? 'cause I love giving it! **Sea** : \ Ok. Anyway, I’d like you to meet **Sweet willy** **Sweet Willy** : Jews suck. **K-K** : \ So do I honey! **Sweet Willy** : I’m not an anti-Semite, but Jews just…well…they suck! **FatherJohn** : Father John wonders if Jews Drive SUVs? He thinks they do! If they do, Father John agrees they suck! **Sweet Willy** : [m-w.com](http://m-w.com) defines sucking as Main Entry: 1 suck Pronunciation: 's&k Function: verb Etymology: Middle English suken, from Old English sucan; akin to Old High German sugan to suck, Latin sugere Date: before 12th century transitive senses 1 a : to draw (as liquid) into the mouth through a suction force produced by movements of the lips and tongue \ **Hiyruu** : Does their suction come from Phi? Or Phi-Love/Happiness? **Sweet Willy** : Love? No!! I hate Jews. They’re evil. They’re the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck! **K-k, Hiyruu, FatherJohn and Sea Sorbust** all back away a bit. Hiyruu wipes some flecks of spittle and foam off his shirt. **Sweet Willy** : I want to [become a Jew](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=108310) so I can show them how stupid and sucky they are! How do you become a Jew! Suddenly the door bursts open and a late arrival rushes in! **Jack Dean Tyler** : We’re talking about circumscision today, right? Everyone blinks. For once, Jack’s comments are strangely appropriate. **SeaSorbust** : Uh-huh. Look I hope you all have a really good time together. He leaves. **Jack Dean Tyler** : Circumcision sucks! **Sweet Willy** : Jews circumcise people! **Both together** : Jews suck! **K-K** : \ So do I, Dammit! Fade out. Thanks, and good night. Roving Reporter Fenris (who notes, dear reader, I have to comment that the only way to circumcise Sweet Willy would be with a trepaning saw) ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/2 "2002-04-08T13:52:01Z")
US HATE THIS! (Woops, sorry. Wrong thread) ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/3 "2002-04-08T13:57:08Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/4 "2002-04-08T14:06:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*(who notes, dear reader, I have to comment that the only way to circumcise Sweet Willy would be with a trepaning saw) \*\* Gotta love the subtlety 😃 ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/5 "2002-04-08T14:09:53Z")
Marvelous work. Any more nominations? ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/6 "2002-04-08T14:12:02Z")
Maybe Sweet Willy will move to Israel, thus increasing the mean I.Q. in the good old U.S.A. One can only hope. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/7 "2002-04-08T14:13:02Z")
Og smash Sweet Willy…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/8 "2002-04-08T14:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*Maybe Sweet Willy will move to Israel, thus increasing the mean I.Q. in the good old U.S.A. \*\* Good grief, but that’s a _terrible_ thing to wish upon Israel! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/9 "2002-04-08T14:38:22Z")
**Lolo:** Jews; I’m not impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/10 "2002-04-08T14:39:41Z")
_Damn_\*[/sym] ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/11 "2002-04-08T14:50:53Z")
Very clever. _Pleeeease_ tell me Seethruart appears in act II. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/12 "2002-04-08T15:00:39Z")
I have decided that I want to be a member of the SDMBOTPCMS. Not one of the _practicing_ members, but one of the non-practicing members who don’t pay their dues and don’t get involved in any of the stupid rituals. I like the free donuts, K-K will give me a blowjob, and I will get free citizenship in the Mighty Chick-Track Marching Society. I know that there are other Board Members like me who feel inferior because we are not allowed to join this club. However, I don’t think it’s fair that I be excluded simply because I don’t obsess over some damn-fool idea, or because my mother wasn’t a member. I demand that I be granted membership. If I’m not, I’ll have to conclude that the people in the SDMBOTPCMS are racist bastards who don’t freely accept all mindless assholes who show up at the door with a tin-foil hat and an axe to grind. Bite me. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/13 "2002-04-08T15:07:32Z")
OG!! OG!! OG!! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/14 "2002-04-08T15:33:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*Very clever. _Pleeeease_ tell me Seethruart appears in act II. \*\* Act **III**! _This_ was Act II And, Seethruart was one of the star players in [Act I](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=95487). As a matter of fact, I believe he was the cause of the formation of the society. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/15 "2002-04-08T16:28:40Z")
:flickering light held up high:: bravo, bravo, author author!! (looks around, sees **Fenris** standing right there) Oh, Hi. Didn’t see you standing there - want your lighter back? (and if **NutraSweet** gets his wish and becomes Jewish, does that mean he’s on **your** team? 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/16 "2002-04-08T16:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Trion \* > \*\*I have decided that I want to be a member of the SDMBOTPCMS. Not one of the _practicing_ members, but one of the non-practicing members who don’t pay their dues and don’t get involved in any of the stupid rituals. I like the free donuts, K-K will give me a blowjob, and I will get free citizenship in the Mighty Chick-Track Marching Society. \*\* I just want the chowder\*. How much for a junior membership? * * * \*New England or manhattan? ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/17 "2002-04-08T17:49:05Z")
**Fenris** , it is all your fault. I am sitting at the computer lab in my University, adn rumours will soon be spreading far and wide about that loon who laughs hysterically at her computer. The guy beside me got up and left. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/18 "2002-04-08T17:49:48Z")
Hey, I obsess about my age, my health, and my fear of dying. Why can’t I join? Would I get to see **K-K** again? I miss her. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/19 "2002-04-08T18:06:33Z")
I too wish to join the SDMBOTPCMS. In lieu of a formal application, please review the following rant, in which I renew my declamation on the subject on which I have been harping incessantly since I registered. [rant] Would the poster (and literary tease) known as **Fenris** please finally finish the whole “Secret Origins of the Mods” thing he stared in ATMB? [/rant] Thank you for your consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480/20 "2002-04-08T18:23:00Z")
You blaspheme the title of One Trick Pony[sup]TM[/sup] Esprix [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sweet-willy-joins-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society/102480.md?page=2)