# Swimming lanes, and their usage **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 23, 2002, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124 "2002-04-23T09:26:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/21 "2002-04-23T19:09:47Z")
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes Masters swimming such a good thing. Swimming, organized by adults who like to swim, for adults who like to swim. Swimmers grouped into lanes by the pace they expect to hold for the next hour or two–and if anyone’s not there to _actually go back and forth,_ they are in the wrong pool. And it doesn’t matter if you’re slow or fast. If you’re there to work, that’s all that matters. How I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/22 "2002-04-23T19:18:13Z")
_Sigh_ I miss my ol’ swim buddy. During the session that I swam, the load in the pool usually averaged out at two per lane. My swim buddy and I swam at exactly the same speed. We were prefect lane companions. I never spoke a word to him, incidentally. Quite possibly he didn’t know that considered him the best thing to happen to my morning swim since I got prescription goggles. Anyway, now he’s gone, so I take whatever loser I can get–as long I as I don’t have to share a lane with “I Must Do the Fly” man. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/23 "2002-04-23T21:23:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\*And what do you suggest for a guy with less muscle than an anorexic oyster and entirely too much mass? Not to mention technique that makes the baby Goodhew cry. Are there any cottony bits of string that will aid me in _my_ quest? > > I wait in anticipation… \*\* Obviously, you need an angel… [http://www.craftplanet.com/Creations/Projects/tampon\_angel.htm](http://www.craftplanet.com/Creations/Projects/tampon_angel.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/24 "2002-04-24T02:10:23Z")
My nose was broken by a midget with the last of Pigg who was swimming across the lanes. Needless to say, I was not expecting it. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/25 "2002-04-24T09:36:27Z")
:eek:~ ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/26 "2002-04-24T10:11:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*My nose was broken by a midget with the last of Pigg who was swimming across the lanes. Needless to say, I was not expecting it. \*\* Did he then complain, and ask what you were doing? I ask purely because of something similar that happened to me. I was swimming lanes one time, when I was rather surprised by a headbutt in the 'nads. This had been caused by a particular genius who though it’d be okay to swim across the lanes if he did it underwater. When he then ran out of breath (about 3 yards into the laned half) he decided to imitate a submarine doing an emergency return to surface - which was a bit awkward as I was swimming above him at the time. The bit I particularly liked was when I asked him just what he was playing at (whilst trying to tread water and clutch my groin at the same time - not easy) he told me I should have watched where I was going. As IANAL, can someone advise me if any court in the land would have convicted me for drowning him? ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/27 "2002-04-24T10:13:53Z")
Not if it were done in a suitably violent manner, so far as I know. At least, that is what I understand by “reasonable force”. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/28 "2002-04-24T10:21:09Z")
That’s what I thought, but I also wondered if “Temporary Insanity” can be a reasonable plea after such an incident. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/29 "2002-04-24T10:53:22Z")
No, I don’t think so. It would entirely be the action of a sane man. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/30 "2002-04-24T11:03:34Z")
Ah - the catch 22 clause. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124/31 "2002-04-24T13:14:37Z")
Oh God, swim lane rants. I’m not a serious swimmer. My littlest sister is. However, my family takes a dim view of dropping a 10 year old off at the Y whenever she wants to do laps outside of practice. (We;ll, she’s 11 now, but was younger when I took her to the Y.) She can’t go to the swim times at all because our Y doesn’t allow anyone under the age of 18 into lap swim, so we take her to free swim that has a similar setup. Three lanes, the rest fo the pool open. Invariably a pack of people would hang out in the deep end of all three lanes sitting on the lane markers. I kept telling Becca to just ram them, she may be littler but she was going faster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/swimming-lanes-and-their-usage/105124.md?page=1)