# Symantics: Friends of the same sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 23, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725 "2004-02-23T19:41:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/1 "2004-02-23T19:41:29Z")
Why is it that girls insist on saying “my girlfriend told me…” (in a Platonic sense), and not just friends? Yet, as far I have seen, guys simply have friends. Ahs anyone else noticed this? And, from my observations, this goes back before the start of the whole, slang “you go girl; girlfriend” t’ang! Is it too much to ask that they just simply have friends? - Jinx ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/2 "2004-02-23T20:20:16Z")
It’s just one of those little speech mannerisms that doesn’t do any harm, so what’s the big deal? One of the things I’ve noticed about it is that it’s often used to distinguish between male and female friends, and also to distinguish between casual friendly acquaintances and close friends. I’ve also noticed that it tends toward being a regional sort of thing, like keeping pop in the icebox instead of keeping soda in the fridge. I admit, I sometimes use that construction myself these days. When I’m talking about the woman who was my best friend all through high school, and is still my closest platonic friend, I’ll sometimes call her “my best girlfriend.” She’s not my best friend anymore; my husband’s been my best friend for quite some time now, and although people would know what I meant if I referred to her as my best friend, it wouldn’t feel right to me. ---
**Author:** ![Arcite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@Arcite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcite)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/3 "2004-02-23T20:26:09Z")
> [@Jinx](#): > > Why is it that girls insist on saying “my girlfriend told me…” (in a Platonic sense), and not just friends? Yet, as far I have seen, guys simply have friends. Ahs anyone else noticed this? And, from my observations, this goes back before the start of the whole, slang “you go girl; girlfriend” t’ang! > > Is it too much to ask that they just simply have friends? > > - Jinx Hey, you’re right! I’m insanely jealous of all these women. I don’t even have one girlfriend, and here just about every woman on earth is constantly going on about her dozens of “girlfriends”! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/4 "2004-02-23T20:29:06Z")
It does harm to the extent that it causes confusion. Not like anyone’s ever died because of it or anything but I do find it somewhat annoying for heterosexual women to refer to their female platonic friends as their girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/5 "2004-02-23T20:56:59Z")
It’s like this: Girls have boyfriends Girls have girlfriends Guys have girlfriends Guys have buddies It’s the way it’s always been. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/6 "2004-02-23T21:04:58Z")
“Boyfriend” was once used by some people to mean a friend of another boy, exactly as we’d say buddy or friend today. When I was a kid I remember my grandmother asking about my “boyfriends”. I didn’t like it and it wasn’t normal usage even then, but allowing for her age maybe it was normal when she was a kid (\< 1910). ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/7 "2004-02-23T21:07:21Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > It’s like this: > > Girls have boyfriends > Girls have girlfriends > > Guys have girlfriends > Guys have buddies > > It’s the way it’s always been. You forgot one… Girls also have _friends_, as in “Can we just be…?” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/8 "2004-02-23T21:34:02Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > It does harm to the extent that it causes confusion. Not like anyone’s ever died because of it or anything but I do find it somewhat annoying for heterosexual women to refer to their female platonic friends as their girlfriends. It only causes confusion (mild confusion that could easily be remedied with a single question, at that) if you’re using it as a barometer of someone’s sexual orientation. By your own admission, it’s not a very reliable indication, and why do you care about a woman’s orientation anyway? Aren’t you gay? And isn’t someone’s sex life really none of your business? The word has multiple definitions and connotations, just like gay, straight, love, sex, vanilla, and about a million other words. Until large numbers of women started living openly as lesbians, it was automatically assumed that a woman’s girlfriend was a platonic friend. Maybe you should get annoyed with lesbians for co-opting the word. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/9 "2004-02-23T21:45:49Z")
Okay, I use the word. I’m heterosexual, and I use it to refer to my female friends. I use it because I have a lot of male friends as well, and usually whatever kind of anecdote I’m relating needs the gender specification to make it funnier. For example: “My friend got drunk last night and tried to hump a gumball machine” is much funnier when it’s “My _girlfriend_ got drunk last night …” etc. For the record, my male friends rarely get drunk and try to hump things. ---
**Author:** ![Mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mercury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercury)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/symantics-friends-of-the-same-sex/230725/10 "2004-02-23T23:51:25Z")
I use it because it _clears up_ confusion. My best friends are 6 girls and 2 guys (I’m only dating one of them). ~M