# Sympathy for Stuff that Sucks

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 10, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137 "2000-05-10T17:32:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137/1 "2000-05-10T17:32:32Z")

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While I don’t think this is mundane or pointless, I do feel I must share this.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine committed suicide. It was (as I suspect it is in most cases) a complete surprise to everyone and still very painful to deal with. My hands are shaking unbearably as I type so forgive please any typos…  
But my point is not the typical ‘Tell people you love them’-- because in some cases it doesn’t matter–although it is always important. I merely wish to extend to anyone who has experienced ANYTHING as mind-numbing and painful my sincerest sympathy. Empathy? Whatever.  
I have found there is a world of people dealing with sorts of pain that in everyday life we never see. Not that I wasn’t aware of it before, but…you get my drift. It is devastating to lose someone or something in any manner and I want to give this strange electronic hug to you in hopes it will help with that long healing process.  
For those of us left behind to pick up the pieces–know that someone is thinking of you.  
Thanks for giving me your time. Much appreciated.

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**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137/2 "2000-05-10T17:41:34Z")

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I am sorry about your friend. It is very sad.

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**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137/3 "2000-05-10T17:49:21Z")

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I’m sorry you had to experiance this. It is hard when someone you care for goes this way. I know, When I was eighteen years old , my first husband took his life when we had been married four months.

It took years to get past the guilt I felt. Just know this, you could not have stopped it, even if you had been there the most you could have done would have been to delay it.

If a person is really determined to die , they will find a way. My former husband tried it many times before he suceeded.

If you need to talk feel free to e-mail me.

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**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-for-stuff-that-sucks/19137/4 "2000-05-10T18:00:55Z")

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Wonk and Ayesha–  
Thank you both. It seems that determination is a large part of things like this. I am so sorry you experienced this, Ayesha. Again, a big hug for you and my thoughts. Be good to you.