# Sympathy vs. empathy **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 10, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166 "2006-09-10T14:48:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/1 "2006-09-10T14:48:58Z")
I generally use “sympathy” to refer to an acknowlegement of another’s feelings without entering into them, and “empathy” to refer to actually experiencing what the other is feeling. Thus, I’ll sympathize with an acquaintance or a coworker who’s going though something difficult, but I’ll actually empathize with a close friend or loved one going through the same thing. In the case of sympathy, I maintain a bit of emotional distance. I was making this distinction – or thought I was – to someone the other day, and the email I got in return seemed to be using them in the opposite sense: > [@someone twicks knows](#): > > …enormous capacity for empathy (sympathy even, which means actually feeling what the other feels). … Am I misunderstanding the distinction here, or is this other person? I’ve been checking dictionaries and not finding them particularly helpful. TIA. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/2 "2006-09-10T15:00:56Z")
**Twicky** , my understanding is that you are correct and your friend is full of it. Rough, girl, I know how you feel…😉 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/3 "2006-09-10T15:02:13Z")
To me: Empathy means the ability to comprehend the other’s experience. Sympathy means the ability to comprehend the other’s experience _and_ having a positive feeling towards them in that comprehension. You need to empathise with your enemy to help defeat them, but you sure as hell don’t sympathise with them. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/4 "2006-09-10T15:10:37Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] I generally use “sympathy” to refer to an acknowlegement of another’s feelings without entering into them, and “empathy” to refer to actually experiencing what the other is feeling. Thus, I’ll sympathize with an acquaintance or a coworker who’s going though something difficult, but I’ll actually empathize with a close friend or loved one going through the same thing. In the case of sympathy, I maintain a bit of emotional distance. I was making this distinction – or thought I was – to someone the other day, and the email I got in return seemed to be using them in the opposite sense: Am I misunderstanding the distinction here, or is this other person? I’ve been checking dictionaries and not finding them particularly helpful. TIA. [/QUOTE] I’ve always used it thusly: Sympathy: acknowledging another person’s feelings Empathy: acknowledging another person’s feelings, having gone experienced them oneself. For me, empathy is comprehension and personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/5 "2006-09-10T15:11:15Z")
While I agree that empathy does not by any means connote liking or agreement, it still implies a far greater degree of experiencing that which the other is experiencing than sympathy, which requires only a friendly, open ear. As a cite, I mention the episode of Star Trek TOS entitled _The Empath_, in which this alien actually assumed the injuries of others in order to cure them. Sympathy is going “Oh, I’m sorry, too bad!” when someone tells you he was socked in the nose. Empathy is going “Oh, ouch!” because you momentarily ‘felt’ being socked in the nose yourself. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/6 "2006-09-10T15:14:22Z")
Well, [dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com) has an FAQ regarding this: > [@](#): > > What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? > > Both empathy and sympathy are feelings concerning other people. Sympathy is literally ‘feeling with’ - compassion for or commiseration with another person. Empathy, by contrast, is literally ‘feeling into’ - the ability to project one’s personality into another person and more fully understand that person. Sympathy derives from Latin and Greek words meaning ‘having a fellow feeling’. The term empathy originated in psychology (translation of a German term, c. 1903) and has now come to mean the ability to imagine or project oneself into another person’s position and experience all the sensations involved in that position. You feel empathy when you’ve “been there”, and sympathy when you haven’t. Examples: We felt sympathy for the team members who tried hard but were not appreciated. / We felt empathy for children with asthma because their parents won’t remove pets from the household. So, basically it agrees with my experience, or “being there,” distinction. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/7 "2006-09-10T15:20:10Z")
Thanks for the cite, **pulykamell** – I was getting frustrated reading definitions when I was looking for a direct comparison. I bet you know how that feels. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/8 "2006-09-10T17:34:04Z")
Note that there is an unusual, typically unstated, assumption most people have regarding _positive_ emotions. Many (but not all) people might say they empathize with someone’s good luck, but rare is the person who might state they sympathize with a lottery winner. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/9 "2006-09-10T19:24:51Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Thus, I’ll sympathize with an acquaintance or a coworker who’s going though something difficult, but I’ll actually empathize with a close friend or loved one going through the same thing. In the case of sympathy, I maintain a bit of emotional distance. TIA. [/QUOTE] I use them both this way as well. I believe you are correct and your acquaintance is not. Now, on to my question - Why is the word empathic, and not empathetic, the common corollary to the word sympathetic, since empathic and empathetic mean the same thing? Also, why is sympathic not a word? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/10 "2006-09-10T21:36:33Z")
[Hijack]The word empathy (εμπάθεια) in modern Greek has a negative meaning. The best translation would be “maliciousness”. Quite the opposite meaning from english. Anybody knows why?[/Hijack] ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/11 "2006-11-08T20:44:36Z")
They’re obviously closely related words with overlapping meanings, so people will have different understandings. Ditto for dictionaries, because they record usage. The only way to avoid difficulties is to define terms in advance. Hasn’t it been said that most arguments boil down to semantics/definitions? That’s what this question is. I don’t understand the last example from the [dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com) faq. To have “been there”, wouldn’t you have to have had asthma? Or had parents who wouldn’t do something for your health? > **[Definition of SYMPATHY](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sympathy)** > > a feeling or expression of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful; also : the capacity for this; the action of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another : empathy; also : the capacity for... > [@](#): > > 3 a : the act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another b : the feeling or mental state brought about by such sensitivity \ > **[Definition of EMPATHY](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy)** > > the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another; also : the capacity for this… See the full definition > [@](#): > > 2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present _without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner;_ It seems to me that, according to this particular dictionary, the important distinction seems to be the phrase I’ve italicized. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/12 "2006-11-08T21:47:42Z")
I don’t sympathize with my patients, but I often have empathy for them… …unless they don’t pay my bill, then I sympathize with my collection agency. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/13 "2006-11-09T06:22:05Z")
I doubt **stk** uses the words that way most of the time. I think they were simply citing the literal meaning of the etymology (_sym-_, with + _pathy_, feeling) to make a point, just as if I said, “Society often treats people with mental illness as if they were insane, which actually means ‘unclean’.” It’s just that their point was weakened by the fact that the etymological meaning of _sympathy_ happens to be nearly identical with the actual meaning of _empathy_, with which it was supposedly being contrasted. I suspect **stk** might be a little unclear on the meaning of _empathy_, but I’m sure they don’t really think _sympathy_ means “actually feeling what the other feels” in common usage. If they had, they wouldn’t have explained it. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/14 "2006-11-09T07:43:15Z")
Whoa, how strange. Thought I was in the twilight zone for a second there until I realized **rowrrbazzle** bumped this 2-month old thread with the exact same title as [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=395307), posted yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sympathy-vs-empathy/372166/15 "2006-11-09T19:52:57Z")
I meant to post my response there. :smack: