# Tack Nativity scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 1999, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954 "1999-12-10T20:58:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/1 "1999-12-10T20:58:00Z")
There is an elderly couple who live on my street, Nonie and Oscar. Every year since they retired the Christmas Nativity scene they set up on their yard gets more and more intricate. The manger features two huge styrofoam snowmen wielding candy canes guard like at the entrance, once inside the manger the first thing you’ll notice is the unorthodox choice of the baby Jesus (most depiction’s of christ don’t include a big smiley face and red yarn hair). This is because the baby Jesus originally included in the nativity set was swiped years ago by some neiborhood kids who left only his broken plaster penis in his place. So a Strawberry Shortcake doll has been substituted in the manger, and is doted over by Mary, Joseph, and a plastic gingerbread man. Nonie and Oscar got the life-sized plaster figures of Mary, Joseph and the Wise Men on a trip to Tijuana (I suspect it was a toss-up between these or the little peeing boy birdbath). All the figures came painted in eye shocking Day-Glo colors. Mary wears an electric blue robe, the wise men are clad in hot pink, neon magenta, and psychedelic purple (mercifully these have faded to less vision damaging hues over the years). One point of contention was the black Wise Man. Originally his face was painted glossy midnight black with candy apple red lips and bright white skyward rolled eyes. This didn’t go over well with some of our more politically correct neibors, who threatened to go to the city council. In protest Oscar painted him lime green with purple lips and he remains that way today. Because of a lack of room in the mobile home the original manger animals were left of the side of the interstate. In their place stand a herd of plastic reindeer, a concrete Eeore the donkey (from Winnie the Pooh) a flock of pink plastic flamingoes, a ceramic toad, and most inexplicably, a large paper mache’ dinosaur. Last year somebody rearranged two of the plastic reindeer in the “doggy style” position. Oscar thought it was the funniest thing ever and it took a boot thrown at him by Nonie to make him change it back. I’ve counted seven Santa Clauses (most are hollow plastic with light bulbs inside). Three on the roof of the house, one on top of the manger, one as an unofficial fourth Wise Man, one that seems to be doing something rude to a garden gnome, and a gyrating motorized electric one which short circuited in the sprinklers (it used to go “Ho, Ho, Ho!”, now it goes " Heewoorah, Hwoorah, Heeewoooorah,!!!"). The rest of the lawn is a tangle of blinking, mismatched lights and features a snow man and woman made out of tumbleweeds stacked three high and spray painted white. Ironically, if you were to go out and PURPOSELY try to make the ugliest, tackiest, most garish Christmas scene on Earth you couldn’t touch this display, and Nonie and Oscar don’t view all this as tacky in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/2 "1999-12-10T21:02:00Z")
For the third year in a row, my neighbor has set up a herd of brighly lighted wire frame reindeer in his front yard. Each year, I have resisted the urge to put up a brightly lighted wire frame hunter with a rifle pointed at the reindeer. One of these years I’m going to do it. Anyone know where I can get hunter’s orange christmas lights? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/3 "1999-12-10T21:04:00Z")
Oh yuck. Last week I asked my bus buddies (all women) if they knew the people in our town with what I considered to be one of the tackiest Christmas displays ever until I read about Nonie and Oscar’s. “Oh it’s just so beautiful,” one of the ladies said. “Isn’t it just great the way some people go ‘all out’ this time of year?” chimed in another. Gag me with a shepherd. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/4 "1999-12-10T21:06:00Z")
My folks are recently retired and lately my mom has developed a pathological interest in crafts. The christmas decorations haven’t gone overboard yet but I predict their place turing into a cross between Pee Wee’s Playhouse and Old MacDonald’s farm. The windmill will be the first warning sign. ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/5 "1999-12-10T21:09:00Z")
Yes Padeye! It DOES have a “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” feel to it. I’d never thought of that but thats it exactly. Inky ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/6 "1999-12-10T21:15:00Z")
Inky: ## GREAT post. Laughed out loud. Now all my co-workers are wondering what I’m up to. The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/7 "1999-12-10T21:19:00Z")
Inky - what a great description! I can actually visualize the scene (not necessarily a good thing). Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have seen some Christmas light displays that were truly spectacular, while others are truly spectacles. But you gotta admire the sheer tenacity of those folks, they never give up. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/8 "1999-12-10T21:36:00Z")
Inky, I’ll admit that you have posted the best descriptions that I’ve seen on the SDMB. That Christmas display needs to be declared a national treasure. * * * Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide. Maréchal Lyautey ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/9 "1999-12-10T21:46:00Z")
Wow. What a description. Makes ya wonder what’s in some people’s heads doesn’t it. Or better yet… It takes all kinds. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/10 "1999-12-10T21:59:00Z")
Inky, all I can say is that I’m glad I didn’t read your post at work. Damn, that was funny. * * * Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle. ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/11 "1999-12-10T22:09:00Z")
One of our neighbors goes overboard too. His highlight was a real huge bright yellow Caddillac Convertible sitting in his front yard with a life sized Santa sitting in the driver seat and reindeer leading it. Also among the coated colored light house (not and inch without some form of green, red, or blue) is a lifesized natvity scene with manniquins dressed up in full regalia. I think he may be using casts of them due to the fact that a few neighborhood pranksters took hold of the nativity scene one night a few years back and positioned all the people like they were playing hockey (wise men shooting with shepards crooks, Mary protecting the goal (the manger) with a real hockey stick and the baby as a hockey puck. Ain’t naming names anytime soon. * * * I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on, you are all in my cool book.- Seth Gecko From Dusk Till Dawn ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/12 "1999-12-11T00:19:00Z")
Inky… your decription has got to be one of the best I have heard yet! Athena…I would gladly strip the ones I have off my multicolored line and donate them to you just for the comic relief. I spit coffee all over my screen when I read your post! Gotta love ppl with a sense of humor * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/13 "1999-12-11T03:59:00Z")
Inky, you get the Wordsmith Forge award! Especially in the more Nebulous Garish category. First with the candy, & now here… As for Nonie and Oscar, well, they just put the Fer Crissakes back into Christmas; and ain’t that what it’s all about in the US of Transmogrifying A ? It sounds like they have come to grips with the true spirit of celebration much better than any of the tired old here- we- go- again stereotypes have been. At any rate, I’ll bet their Heaven is a lot more exciting! ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/14 "1999-12-11T07:08:00Z")
Inky! You’ve found your calling in life. Please, please, take a picture. Create the _ **Tacky Christmas** _ website. You’ll be famous! You’ll be popular!! You’ll be Christmas’s answer to Weird Al!!! On a side note: You’ve got a couple named _Nonie and Oscar_ who live in a trailer. **Of course** their Christmas display is tacky, it’d have to be. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/15 "1999-12-11T08:23:00Z")
moriah, Your absolutly right. I WILL put up a “tacky Nativity” web page! What a great idea. At the very least I’ll post a photo here. Incidently, they don’t live in a trailer. I ment to say it was a “Winnebago” they took to Tijuana. Now it rusts unused in their side yard. Inky ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 1999, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/16 "1999-12-12T05:42:00Z")
**Athena** : > [@](#): > > Anyone know where I can get hunter’s orange christmas lights? Next September, pick up a string of Halloween jack-o-lantern lights–Christmas lights with tiny pumpkins on them. ---
**Author:** ![AzRaek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/azraek/32/16739_2.png) [@AzRaek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzRaek)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 1999, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/17 "1999-12-13T01:26:00Z")
A house on my way home from work has the creche on the roof. Manger, Wise Men, Shepards and everyone. I drive by thinking “Joseph, don’t jump!” * * * John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That’s my name too. Wait, no it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/18 "2001-06-25T00:06:36Z")
Bump. Hilarious stuff! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/19 "2001-06-25T00:10:15Z")
“My brother-in-law is Jewish, and he and my sister follow both holiday traditions. At Christmas, they put out a nativity scene, but all the figures look skeptical.” - Bob Smith ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954/20 "2001-06-25T00:18:37Z")
Tacky Nativities make the baby Je-- all right, all right! Stop throwing things! 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tack-nativity-scenes/11954.md?page=2)