# Tacky headlines of future celebrity deaths **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361 "2005-07-20T22:13:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/21 "2005-07-21T15:58:17Z")
Regis Philburn gives his final answer. Donald Trump: You’re fired…er, dead. ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/22 "2005-07-21T16:00:29Z")
**God to Trump: You’re Fired** **Crikey! Croc bests Steve Irwin** **Appropriations bill, Kennedy, die in Senate** ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/23 "2005-07-21T16:25:57Z")
Alive Frank Oz is not. Kicked the bucket he has. Robert DeNiro’s mole: Malignant! Schwarzenegger Terminated. Larry Flint Hustles of this mortal coil. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/24 "2005-07-21T16:47:55Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Scotty beams up [insert name of next Star Trek actor to die here] That’s most likely going to be “Scotty beams up Spock.” Leonard Nimoy’s getting on in years. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/25 "2005-07-21T16:59:16Z")
Dan Ackroyd: Blues Brothers Reunion Tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/26 "2005-07-21T18:03:26Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Paul McCartney: Now it’s up to Ringo Even better … **Beatles Reunion! McCartney and Starr Die in Freak Accident** **Walter Cronkite: That’s The Way It Was** ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/27 "2005-07-21T18:09:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Reports of Kurt Vonnegut’s Death not Exaggerated ``` works for Hal Holbrook, too. ``` \*\*Final Jeopardy: Celebrity Deaths – Alex Trebek Dies Michael Jackson Reunited with Nose \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/28 "2005-07-21T18:23:20Z")
While I’m on news anchors … **Tonight With Peter Jennings Was His Last** **Documents Prove Rather Died Last Night No Really We Mean It** **Brokaw Joins Greatest Generation** ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/29 "2005-07-21T18:30:00Z")
Dave Barry: Dave’s dead. We’re not making this up! or Wouldn’t “Dave Barry is Dead” be an excellent name for a band. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/30 "2005-07-21T18:50:12Z")
**Tom Cruise leaves for Theta.** ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/31 "2005-07-21T18:54:49Z")
\*\*Al Jaffee Folds it in Thomas Pynchon Shows Up at Funeral Martha Stewart’s Afterlife\*\* ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/32 "2005-07-21T18:57:16Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > **Paul Newman in Cold Hands Luke.** > > **Charlton Heston: Enters Food Chain.** > > - I’m so going to hell for this… or Soylent Green is Charlton Heston. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/33 "2005-07-21T19:15:27Z")
\*\*Brittney Spears: Oops! She did it this time Richard Dreyfuss: We’re gonna need a bigger coffin Hank Azaria: D’ead! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/34 "2005-07-21T19:42:23Z")
**Yogi Berra: it’s Over so it’s Over** ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/35 "2005-07-21T19:45:22Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > \*\*Hank Azaria: D’ead! > > \*\* Nitpick: That’s **Dan Castenelleta: D’ead** > [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Thomas Pynchon Shows Up at Funeral** Also works as **J.D. Salinger shows up at funeral** ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/36 "2005-07-21T19:54:59Z")
\*\*Tommy \*\* (or **Dickie** ) **Smothers Brother.** **William Gibson: Winter, Muted.** **Ron Jeremy Works his Last Big Dark Hole.** ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/37 "2005-07-21T20:03:37Z")
\*\*“Big Guy in the Sky to Bill O’Reilly: Shut-Up!!!” “Christina Aguilera: In the Dirrt”\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/38 "2005-07-21T22:04:35Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Nitpick: That’s **Dan Castenelleta: D’ead** You knew I had to say it… **D’oh!** ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/39 "2005-07-21T22:14:10Z")
**Answer: Today Question: When did Alex Trebeck die?** ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361/40 "2005-07-21T22:15:56Z")
Force no longer with George Lucas (some say that’s already true) Steven Speilberg’s life replaced with walkie-talkie Death bites off head of Ozzy Osborne William Shatner: Deaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tacky-headlines-of-future-celebrity-deaths/313361.md?page=3)