# Taekwondo monkeys attack trainer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633 "2009-12-17T13:32:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/1 "2009-12-17T13:32:15Z")
“Think we should teach the monkeys martial arts?” “Why not? Sounds like a good show for the people, and what could go wrong?” :smack: [Taekwondo monkeys attack trainer](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6825449/Taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer.html) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/2 "2009-12-17T13:34:17Z")
Clearly There Are Some Things Monkeys Were Not Meant to Know. They Tampered in Sensei’s Domain. The End?? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/3 "2009-12-17T13:37:42Z")
“Hey – if people think _monkeys_ are great, let’s teach Tae Kwon Do to Chimps!” “No ---- Gorillas!!” In the _King Kong_ Super-Extended Director’s Cut, Kong floors the T. Rex with a Roundhouse Kick, followed by a Knife-Hand jab to the throat. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/4 "2009-12-17T13:40:57Z")
That photo with the article is pure gold. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/5 "2009-12-17T14:05:12Z")
Maybe the monkeys can pick up some extra cash working as Sheriffs Deputies in Lousiana ? I didn’t do nutin. You cant arrest me…Holy shit is that Curious George ? ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/6 "2009-12-17T14:07:42Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > That photo with the article is pure gold. Gold Jerry, gold! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/7 "2009-12-17T14:35:17Z")
Brilliant! So many wonderful ideas start with “what could go wrong?” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/8 "2009-12-17T14:40:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Mr Hu said: “He was really furious, he made the monkeys kneel on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs to punish them and make them show remorse for their nasty attack.” Sounds healthy to me. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/9 "2009-12-17T14:53:27Z")
At least he didn’t make the monkeys wear pointed hats and placards bearing their crimes, like they did during the Cultural Revolution. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/10 "2009-12-17T15:01:42Z")
I have _had_ it with these monkey fightin’ primates in this Monday to Friday play! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/11 "2009-12-17T15:31:53Z")
I always take a knife to a monkey fight myself…just to play it safe. Did anyone notice the pic of the bears on that link ? One is punching another in the nuts ! Whats next, Kangaroos hitting each other over the head with beer bottles ? Spiders using banna peels on each other ? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/12 "2009-12-17T15:34:49Z")
It’s all fun and games until those monkeys start teaching other monkeys, then we’re toast. ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/13 "2009-12-17T15:53:49Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Did anyone notice the pic of the bears on that link ? One is punching another in the nuts ! I didn’t notice it until you pointed it out, but that’s pretty damn great too! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/14 "2009-12-17T16:00:23Z")
Is that [this guy?](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/12/monkeytrainerEUP_450x300.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/451410-monkeys-beat-up-trainer-with-his-own-stick&usg=__qLwITg4bJSziGiusji0gMOao_fY=&h=300&w=450&sz=45&hl=en&start=1&sig2=Wf_vkojwOLf4SHy1SGZvhA&tbnid=XHuJABqikPJeKM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmonkey%2Bwith%2Bstick%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den&ei=i1QqS8qwKIbgNfjRsNgI) If it’s not, then what the heck is up with the Chinese teaching monkeys to kick our asses? Are their military recruitment numbers really low or something? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/15 "2009-12-17T16:03:28Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > Is that [this guy?](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/12/monkeytrainerEUP_450x300.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/451410-monkeys-beat-up-trainer-with-his-own-stick&usg=__qLwITg4bJSziGiusji0gMOao_fY=&h=300&w=450&sz=45&hl=en&start=1&sig2=Wf_vkojwOLf4SHy1SGZvhA&tbnid=XHuJABqikPJeKM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmonkey%2Bwith%2Bstick%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den&ei=i1QqS8qwKIbgNfjRsNgI) > > If it’s not, then what the heck is up with the Chinese teaching monkeys to kick our asses? Are their military recruitment numbers really low or something? I think Steven Segal has opened an overseas training franchise… ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/16 "2009-12-17T16:03:48Z")
I have loathed monkeys for as long as I can remember. It is comforting to know that now I have something I can point to as being a rationale. “You see! You SEE how they are?!?” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/17 "2009-12-17T16:09:11Z")
Clearly it is time for a LOLMONKEEZ site. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/18 "2009-12-17T16:09:37Z")
When I read the thread title, I thought this would be one of the greatest stories I’ve heard in a while. When I saw the photo, I knew this story is the best story EVER. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/19 "2009-12-17T16:13:16Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Clearly it is time for a LOLMONKEEZ site. CanIHAZurwpnsoMSD? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/20 "2009-12-17T16:14:19Z")
My god it’s like no one fucking saw Planet of the Apes. This is how it will start. You just watch. Pretty soon we’re all gonna be wearing organ grinder costumes clanging cymbals together. Goddammit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633.md?page=2)