# Taekwondo monkeys attack trainer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633 "2009-12-17T13:32:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/21 "2009-12-17T16:29:39Z")
Could have been worse. He might have trained them in ninjitsu. _Poof_ Hey! Where’d the monkeys go? _gack_ ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/22 "2009-12-17T16:29:50Z")
Do NOT taunt the ninja monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/23 "2009-12-17T16:33:33Z")
Heeeeeey, wait a minute! :dubious: There’s the picture in the article from the OP… and the picture accompanying the story about the same event in **Marlitharn** ’s link. The trainer is wearing different clothes! Mayhaps this is all part of some deliberate schtick? ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/24 "2009-12-17T16:46:55Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Heeeeeey, wait a minute! :dubious: > > There’s the picture in the article from the OP… and the picture accompanying the story about the same event in **Marlitharn** ’s link. The trainer is wearing different clothes! > > Mayhaps this is all part of some deliberate schtick? I did notice that the trainer looked the same in both links, but that the second link didn’t mention anything about flying monkey kicks :dubious: I found the original link here, no real details to speak of though [http://www.thestar.com/news/article/740039–5-things-heads-roll-in-mexico](http://www.thestar.com/news/article/740039--5-things-heads-roll-in-mexico) edit: hair on the two guys is different, probably not the same guy ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/25 "2009-12-17T16:58:08Z")
> [@cgg419](#): > > edit: hair on the two guys is different, probably not the same guy Hard to tell, there’s a monkey foot on his head! So are either photo of the actual event or are they for “illustrative purposes only” as in “if I monkey was brandishing a stick and about to hit you, this approximates what it would look like.” (The one looks like a TKD kick, but it could also just be a monkey faliling with his hand stied behind his back). ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/26 "2009-12-17T17:04:17Z")
I was more horrified by #4 on that list! ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/27 "2009-12-17T17:08:45Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Hard to tell, there’s a monkey foot on his head! > > So are either photo of the actual event or are they for “illustrative purposes only” as in “if I monkey was brandishing a stick and about to hit you, this approximates what it would look like.” (The one looks like a TKD kick, but it could also just be a monkey faliling with his hand stied behind his back). According to the article, the photo in the original link was taken by a bystander. As far as the hair of the two (one?) men goes, the guy in the second link looks like he has longer hair, at least to me. Although that would mean two different people are teaching monkeys martial arts. > [@ShelliBean](#): > > I was more horrified by #4 on that list! You’re not the only one :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/28 "2009-12-17T17:13:45Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > I was more horrified by #4 on that list! The video for the The Necky is _hilarious_! Am I the only one who kind of hope the guy would drive off when she got her scarf stuck in the door? And hey, he’s using power tools without safety glasses! What kind of example is that for the kids? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/29 "2009-12-17T17:14:03Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > My god it’s like no one fucking saw Planet of the Apes. > > This is how it will start. You just watch. Pretty soon we’re all gonna be wearing organ grinder costumes clanging cymbals together. Goddammit. You maniacs! You blew it all up! Damn you! I think this thread title is so awesome. There is just so much meme-age to add. I, for one, welcome out new Tae Kwon Do Monkey Overlords. Tae Kwon Do Monkeys! Band Name! Hi Opal! Er, okay so I ran out of memes. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/30 "2009-12-17T17:16:54Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Hi Opal! Er, okay so I ran out of memes. You forgot the obvious, silly: Teenage Mutant Ninja Monkeys! (… for twenty minutes) ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/31 "2009-12-17T17:18:30Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Teenage Mutant Ninja Monkeys! If that’s stuck in my head all day…:smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/32 "2009-12-17T17:28:51Z")
Martial arts monkey? [BTDT.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90RfaW_EI_I) ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/33 "2009-12-17T17:51:23Z")
If you try to hit a monkey with a stick, but the monkey grabs the stick from you and hits you with it, either you should look around for Stephen Chow, or admit that you have been surpassed as the superior species. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/34 "2009-12-17T17:54:57Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I always take a knife to a monkey fight myself…just to play it safe. > > Did anyone notice the pic of the bears on that link ? One is punching another in the nuts ! > > Whats next, Kangaroos hitting each other over the head with beer bottles ? Spiders using banna peels on each other ? Cats and dogs living together…Mass hysteria. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/35 "2009-12-17T18:10:10Z")
I see a children’s book: **If you Give a Monkey a Nunchuck…** ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/36 "2009-12-17T18:24:01Z")
Phase one complete. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/37 "2009-12-17T19:47:15Z")
Well, for pure monkey business, nobody beats [Charlie the Karate Chimp](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El4M5tk-N1A). And don’t forget the [sidekicking cat](http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d97/Clothahump/karate_kat.jpg). But I thought that everyone would like to know that I am now teaching [self-defense for brown bears](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/6832566/Pictures-of-the-day-17-December-2009.html?image=3). :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/38 "2009-12-17T19:57:00Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > But I thought that everyone would like to know that I am now teaching [self-defense for brown bears](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/6832566/Pictures-of-the-day-17-December-2009.html?image=3). Nonsense. Just look at the expression of the standing bear. That, my friend is a look of sheer pleasure. I know what you’re teaching those bears, perv. ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/39 "2009-12-17T20:08:47Z")
OK, so now the monkeys AND the bears are getting smarter…we are so fucked 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633/40 "2009-12-17T20:24:10Z")
All we need now are the sharks with frickin’ lasers on their frickin’ heads and we’ll have the perfect trifecta: We won’t be safe on land, in the trees, _or_ in the water. Crap. What did I just do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer/521633.md?page=3)