# Take All Your Base and Shove 'Em Up Your Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596 "2001-03-03T04:07:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/21 "2001-03-03T16:31:56Z")
Ohhh **minty** , do ya really think we should use the offending phrase in our **name**??? ewwwww :eek: ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/22 "2001-03-03T16:45:13Z")
Yeah, don’t pick on **Avumede** - I’ve been sending links to his GQ thread to all the morons who have forwarded the “all your base are” thing to me. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/23 "2001-03-03T16:48:06Z")
Ah, that’s quite true, **wring**. But surely, the nonbelievers must know why they are being tormented by our stylishly dressed squad of vigilantes, and I don’t know that using “Zero Wing” instead would adequately inform them of their crimes against humanity. ::mutters quietly to self while smoothing rough edges of VIC-20:: ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/24 "2001-03-03T16:51:34Z")
Okay **Avumede** , I like your character witness, so you’re off the hook. My, this inquisition thing is much harder to manage than I would have imagined. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/25 "2001-03-03T17:02:16Z")
oh, **mags** you **know** I wouldn’t disagree w/you! As far as I’m concerned, it isn’t a problem to have a thread about a topic. Hell, even a couple of threads about a topic (remember, I’m a veteran of the 2000 election threads). But 10 threads??? all pretty much the same thing??? Threads appearing in \*\*Great Debates \*\* (although to be fair, that poster was new and probably didn’t realize they’d posted twice and in the wrong forum). So, sure, let’s let \*\*Avumedes \*\* thread stay. but banish the rest to… to… to… damn. I can’t think of anyone I dislike that much. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/26 "2001-03-04T00:53:10Z")
**wring** , actually, it might be better if I just forward my friends this pit thread instead. I got the stupid thing forwarded to me AGAIN today. Anyone got a Commodore 64 and a plunger I can borrow? ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/27 "2001-03-04T01:08:31Z")
And _this_ happens? Uniforms? Cute names? For christs’ sake _hats_? Ohh, you fuckin sissies really _do_ need me in this thing- Just as an example- **minty** - you mention fighting ignorance the hard way, and then sometihng about sticking to the soft tissues. Awright now, I know it takes a long time to become a lawyer, so you’ve been in school a long time, and perhaps are lacking somewhat in ‘practical’ experience, so let me, if I may, fill you in- It is not ‘hard’ if you enjoy it. There is no such thing as hard, cartiligeneous tissues with a proper soaking of a proper duration in the proper temperature of a mildly acidic solution. And nobody’s appointed **wierdD** as procurment officer yet? Thefucks wrong with you all? I gotta say here, I’m gettin a mite discouraged… Lastly, **Boris, Havok?** I _like_ you kids. I wanna be your friend. What say we be RL pen pals? I’m really into pets, home videos, travel, The Astrological Sciences[sup]tm[/sup], doing various crafts with corncobs, (I’m jsut a little homebodyLOL), _antique_ subarusLOL and my friends say I’m wayy cuteLOL and I’m jsut looking for somebody honest, as I’m not into games…I spend most of my time thinking of others, when I’m not serving on some committee or other for my church and I’m a big fan of DYI projects involving the previously-mentioned vaseline. I like to 'go slow’LOL, so maybe we could 'ease into it’LOLOLOLOLOL Who knows? Maybe by spring I could be coming (ife ya no wut i mean weenk weenk) to visit you and we could be making some memories and getting them on video! (note- unless you’re as pathetic as I am and haunt the online personals, you have no hope of getting that last bit to B and H…well, maybe some of it) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/28 "2001-03-04T02:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\*And _this_ happens? Uniforms? Cute names? > For christs’ sake _hats_? > Ohh, you fuckin sissies really _do_ need me in this thing- Just as an example- **minty** - you mention fighting ignorance the hard way, and then sometihng about sticking to the soft tissues. > Awright now, I know it takes a long time to become a lawyer, so you’ve been in school a long time, and perhaps are lacking somewhat in ‘practical’ experience, so let me, if I may, fill you in- > It is not ‘hard’ if you enjoy it. > There is no such thing as hard, cartiligeneous tissues with a proper soaking of a proper duration in the proper temperature of a mildly acidic solution. > \*\* Inor, Inor, Inor. My friend. Me compadre You were doing _so_ well up 'till the last paragraph I quoted. Acidic solutions? It’s _soooo_ E.C. Comics. It’s gimmicky! No. I propose we go back to the basics. I like the “softening the cartiligeneous tissues” thing, but I strongly feel we should do it the old-fashioned way. With blunt instruments. I propose that we “tenderize” them by beating them with parts from the [Zero Wing](http://www.klov.com/Z/Zero_Wing.html) stand-up unit. Effective _and_ ironic. Imagine the joy of “tenderizing” someone with a side panel, for example. (“All my base _\_ are belong to _\_ you, huh? _\_ Well how _\_ do you like _\_ _this_ base? _\_”) I firmly feel that if you consider my proposition, you’ll see it adds to the artistry you and Minty began. I implore you. Adopt my suggestion and allow me to join you on this, your rightous crusade! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/29 "2001-03-04T02:29:37Z")
I know when I see greatness and, while keeping both eyes strictly peeled and sharply focused upon your person, I humbly and deeply bow before you and defer to your superior efficiency and absolutely sparkly creativity. I am yours to command, as long as you don’t move out of my peripheral vision… And you’re right. The old ways are best sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/30 "2001-03-04T02:33:36Z")
‘stylishly dressed squads’ jesus god fen, we got our work cut out for us ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/31 "2001-03-04T02:37:59Z")
ps if you _ever_ do anything like that [whack] thing above without posting adequate warning, I will engage the services of one of a variety of hacker friends, trace your ass down, take you to lunch, and then break all your fingers ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/32 "2001-03-04T02:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\*‘stylishly dressed squads’ > jesus god fen, we got our work cut out for us \*\* It was the little hats and tee-shirts that threw me. But c’mon. Their heart’s are in the right place. > [@](#): > > \*\* > if you ever do anything like that [whack] thing above without posting adequate warning, I will engage the services of one of a variety of hacker friends, trace your ass down, take you to lunch, and then break all your fingers\*\* Huh? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/33 "2001-03-04T02:57:51Z")
I need adequate warning bud- I was eating an M&M and about choked to death… Ya can’t just segue into something like that without warning your viewing audience, y’know? ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/34 "2001-03-04T03:25:29Z")
ok, ya got no email, so I’ll do it here- I meant I laughed sooo fucking hard when I was reading your \ scenario above there I just about snorted an M&M Sorry on the obtuseness pax? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/35 "2001-03-04T03:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\*pax? \*\* Sure! I wasn’t mad (you’d know it if I were mad :D), just confused. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/36 "2001-03-04T03:42:41Z")
Obtuse Eh? Well let me tell you about this catch phrase that all the kids are using nowadays. It’s really obtuse. It’s based on this Japanese cartoon that when translated into English ends saying "All your base are…\>Whack\< Hey, Cut it out…Who are you and what do you want. \>whack\< Owwwwch \>whack\< \>whack\< That’s gonna leave a mark [sub]BTW Love your outfits[/sub] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/37 "2001-03-04T04:59:40Z")
We got **minty** for the corporate things, legal department **Fenris** as the boss of evil- executive, occasionally in the field, as the mood strikes him **wring** as, well, I don’t know, the sporty dresser? Decoy? What, exactly, wring? Could you be our seldom-listened-to conscience? maybe work along side minty as a liason for legal troubles? Do some of the video work? **mag** for scouting the household furniture layout and occasional wet work, boss of evil, assistant executive **mermaid** for driver, all-around sardonic person and as-needed back up and maybe grip? You any good at running cameras? Could you do another one of those \s for us? Yeah, can we see that again? guys? **inor** as the boss of evil, field, and primary shover and the guy who hands out the free software. And, if we do it right, we got our first two prospects… Did I miss anything? Anyone? Oh yeah- **wierd** as buyer BTW, anybody notice Boris assumed we were talking about _sexual_ practices? Maybe you want to warm up your couch, mag? (heeheehee) ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/38 "2001-03-04T06:21:34Z")
_ahem_ Well, damn inor…you pretty much do have it covered. Could I maybe be the bartender or something for this motley bunch? I do have experience at that kind of thing. as a sidenote, a little everclear instead of vaseline could be QUITE a motivator…Just a thought for the stubborn ones… ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/39 "2001-03-04T06:46:02Z")
Meet our new creative practices director------ **Tequila Mockingbird!!!** damn, we’re getting a staff and everything. ipo probably by wednesday… this internet thing is sooo fast… ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/40 "2001-03-04T07:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\*Meet our new creative practices director------ > **Tequila Mockingbird!!!** > \*\* Well, holy hairless testes! I gots me a Title and everything! Thanks inor…here’s your $20. Oh someone please PLEASE remind me I do NOT want to post here when I’ve been drinking? :insert overwhelming gratitude here, as I feel accepted now: Please pass the vaseline again…my nose feels chapped. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596.md?page=3)