# Take All Your Base and Shove 'Em Up Your Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596 "2001-03-03T04:07:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/41 "2001-03-04T14:32:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\ ***wring** as, well, I don’t know, the sporty dresser? Decoy? What, exactly, wring? Could you be our seldom-listened-to conscience? \*\* As an aside, inor, remember that warning you gave me? I want to make it clear that it applies back to you too. “seldom-listened-to conscience”…My keyboard is currently drying from the coffee I snorted on it. 😉 And it’s perfect. **Wring** , being the cool person that she is, makes a great conscience. (look in GD for a thread about bootlegs that I started for a perfect example) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/42 "2001-03-04T14:45:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\*Please pass the vaseline again…my nose feels chapped. \*\* unnnnnfh unnnnnnnnnnfh unnnnnnnnnfh ::wheeling the 2 ton tub of vaseline:: ok, but we need this back. and, (ahem) for the record, I already pointed out that in addition to my inate and oft commented on sense of style, I work with convicts. I know professionals. I make invaluable contributions to the cause. (aside to **Fenris** : awwwwww, garsh, ya make a gal blush) ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/43 "2001-03-04T15:26:14Z")
So, you mean **Training Seminars?** Ahhh, god, I love seminars- gettin paid for sitting around, not paying attention, drinking this or that, taking two or three donuts so nobody else hogs 'em all, doodling little penis pictures with a look of intense concentration and looking up at the speaker once in a while so it looks like I’m taking notes. To boot, as the person who coordinates the speakers, you’ll be well-dressed, and you’re female! ohhh, this is getting gooood… Fen- warning noted- maybe we could work out a short code phrase? And not let anybody else know, so the **we’d** be safe, but yet have the added value of imagining everybody else suffering from the explosive flux and resultant ruined keyboards and surgery…Something like, oh, I don’t know, maybe Fenris/inor- put your food/beverage down that you have no fucking business having around a keyboard anyway because I’m fixing to get absofuckinglutely hilarious! Maybe? Too short? Too cryptic? Well, you write better’n me, so YOU try it… {{{{{Tequila’s nose!}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/44 "2001-03-04T15:45:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > Please pass the vaseline again…my nose feels chapped. \*\* Ok great, now I’ve got a mental image of TM with a well lubed Intellimouse™ inserted in her nares. [sub](I’ve got a really sick and vivid imagination.)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/45 "2001-03-04T15:58:13Z")
**inor** Are you telling me you want to see me \>whack\< off? Hello? I’m female. I don’t \>whack\< off. I merely select one or more items from my “goody drawer”–[sub]OK it takes a whole closet, but I digress[/sub] and just relieve my tensions. I am curious about this \>whacking \< though–Could you show us how it’s done? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/46 "2001-03-04T16:30:06Z")
‘soons I get my tongue stitched up. Mi’ I bowo a foo ob eh arhuh, mo bubansul iems fuh ooo cawseh fuh 'y 'emosasuh? ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/47 "2001-03-04T16:45:34Z")
Wow! I go away for one evening to come back and find this. Shoot, **inor** , you’ve practically got a whole business plan implemented, plus we’ve recruited a **Mermaid** and it looks like we could have **Maggie** on board with a little more flattery. At this rate, in another couple years we’ll be a case study at Harvard Business School! You know, I’ve always heard that the secret to creating a successful business is to surround the entrepreneur with the best people. People with a real love for their work, and unquestionable dedication to the cause. Look at me, I’m getting all choked up. :o ::stands back and applauds initiative, awards stock options:: Oh, and re: hats … when the girl who bosses around felons says we need hats, I’m gonna defer to her judgment. 😃 P.P.S- **Fenris** , any luck locating that Zero Wing standup unit yet? That would be an awesome tool indeed to have in our arsenal. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/48 "2001-03-04T18:13:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > **Oh, and re: hats … when the girl who bosses around felons says we need hats, I’m gonna defer to her judgment. 😃** Shit. Hey Inor: The lawyer has a good point. I’m not gonna be the one to tell her “no” on the hat-thing! :eek: > [@](#): > > - > > P.P.S- **Fenris** , any luck locating that Zero Wing standup unit yet? That would be an awesome tool indeed to have in our arsenal. \*\* None yet. If not, we can figure somthing out. Even baseball bats with the words “Zero Wing” painted on would do in a pinch. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/49 "2001-03-04T19:39:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by inor \* > \*\*‘soons I get my tongue stitched up. Mi’ I bowo a foo ob eh arhuh, mo bubansul iems fuh ooo cawseh fuh 'y 'emosasuh? \*\* Ooooooo shit, I loves it when man talks dirty. At least it sounded dirty. Hell I’m not sure \*what \* you just said but good God it turned me on. The only problem with that is that I’ve got all this built up tension----again. BRB 😃 ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/50 "2001-03-04T21:05:43Z")
**minty** -I believe inor is a little upset, and I’m afraid I quite agree with him. We couldn’t help but notice, as you were handing out the stock options, that everyone else recieved approximately twice again what we got. And, that you slid everybody else a key to the women’s rest room, while the key you gave us seems to only work on the little shed out back. inor has asked me to relay the request that perhaps you and he could step into the supply closet, _where the commodores are stored_ and discuss this civilly. **Fenris** - again, he bows to your better judgement, and except for the little squib following, shall henceforth only show licky adoration for her. **’maid** - as he had pretty much bitten his tongue in two in reaction to _your_ \ piece, he was having a hard time enunciating. But I believe I can shed some light on what he was trying to say: 'Might I borrow a few of the harder, more substantial items from your closet for my demonstration? There. I think that does it. Off to the mountains are we… ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/51 "2001-03-04T21:16:49Z")
Tell inor to take a second look at his options–his are of the _preferred_ variety, with special voting rights. Getting in on the ground floor has its privileges. 😉 And the executive men’s room is still under construction, I’m afraid. Till the second half of the marble shipment arrives from Italy, we’ll both have to make do with the port-o-san. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/52 "2001-03-05T05:03:17Z")
WHY YOU THROW CHIP??? COME ON THEN FUCKING COME ON!!! ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/53 "2001-03-05T05:28:28Z")
\*\*THAN I AM DESIRING TOO!!! I WILL TURN YOU OFF!!!THEN!! FUCKING YOU AM TOO!! YOU GET CHIP SOMETIME TOMORROW NOW! NOW!! YOU SOOOO TURNED OFF I COME THAN WITH CHIP!!! YOU GET THEM NOW!! SEE???!!!SEE!!???YOUARE NOT WILL FUCK WITH \*\* hey, we do need a name here guys \*\*THIS ONES!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU HAVE SQUARE SITTER PART NOW, THAN!!!FEELS YOU LIKE!!! YOU NOW BEEP NOISE OUT YOU DONKEY!!!YESS!!WE BEING GREAT ANIMALS WITH ENLARGED VALVES NOW!!!YOU FISH AND SQUARE ASSTHING!!!YOU BEEP AND BLOOD!!!GO LAY DOWN NOW THAN!!! YES!!! YES!!! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/54 "2001-03-05T05:41:23Z")
YOU’RE THE MAN NOW, DOG!!! ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/55 "2001-03-05T06:03:15Z")
EAH?!!OO IYY 'EN!!! OW!!!OOF!IFF!!HI!HI! AANG SOVE OOO OU!! EE??!!I AH EH MAH!!ESHH!ESHH! OO SHOWAY OW, UH!!! ‘ENNN!! OOO PUSHUH!!!OOO BAH’ PUSHUHNG!!!AH SOVE ISH IH’ OOO _VAN_!!!O O O!! _'OT_ VAN!!OW!!IGH OW!! ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/56 "2001-03-05T06:07:03Z")
PPPPPHHLEAAH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/57 "2001-03-05T06:26:13Z")
:makes a mental note to cut down the alcohol comsuption of posters here: Cawwwwwy Owwn pwease. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/58 "2001-03-05T13:18:26Z")
[stern correction center voice on] **Is there a PROBLEM here?** :: cricket noises heard through the sudden silence:: I didn’t think so [stern correction center voice off] **Tequilla** word to the wise: vaseline is **not** meant to be taken internally. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/59 "2001-03-05T14:55:16Z")
Well, now, wring, let’s maybe back off a little and go at this from _another_\* angle (crickets–mmmmpppph- fair giggled- crickets and the horrified whites of the eyes of the combatants…strictly a warner bros image came to my mind…) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596/60 "2001-03-06T00:59:31Z")
I think this thing has definitely segued off into MPSIMS territory. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-all-your-base-and-shove-em-up-your-ass/56596.md?page=2)