# Take her at her word, or have I been friendzoned? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 5, 2015, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897 "2015-02-05T16:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/141 "2015-02-09T01:41:35Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > No one expects you to be friends with someone you don’t actually like as a friend. If a man doesn’t want to be friends with a woman then he’s free to not be friends with her. But in most of the “friendzone” complaints I’ve heard, the man was fine with _acting_ like the woman’s friend until it became clear that this wasn’t going to lead to dating/sex. I don’t question whether that’s how it looks from the _woman’s_ point of view, or from the point of view of an “unbiased” third party. But, from the point of view of the male in question, I am compelled to believe that it happens [as described by](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18115518&postcount=87) **IvoryTowerDenizen** as often as not: Say you have a guy who finds a woman attractive, and tries to form a friendship with her. Mind you, the more time that elapses as the friendship is developing, chances are the further infatuated the male is becoming, and the deeper his feelings are growing. As time goes on, he finally bites up the courage to let her know how he feels about her. It turns out that she doesn’t have those kind of feelings for him, and lets him down “easy” or, at least, as easy as is practicable. As **IvoryTowerDenizen** pointed out, it’s not abnormal for the hurt of that rejection to be too much for the man to be able to continue with the friendship; to remain in her orbit would be like picking at wounds, and not allowing them to heal. Often, space is needed. And, sometimes, “space” looks like the cold shoulder. Again, I can understand how, from the woman’s point of view, that would _look_ like the man was only “acting” like he wanted to be a friend, for the purposes of trying to bed her, but I maintain that that point of view is not necessarily accurate. Sometimes, it may be true, I’m not trying to make the case that it never happens. Sometimes, though, it may be that the guy is in too deep and, while he wanted a friendship _and_ a relationship, he isn’t capable of compartmentalizing those emotions well enough to be able to handle the friendship in the absence of a relationship, or the ideal of same. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/142 "2015-02-09T01:50:26Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > No one expects you to be friends with someone you don’t actually like as a friend. If a man doesn’t want to be friends with a woman then he’s free to not be friends with her. But in most of the “friendzone” complaints I’ve heard, the man was fine with _acting_ like the woman’s friend until it became clear that this wasn’t going to lead to dating/sex. Men in this situation have only themselves to blame if a woman mistakes their friendship act for real friendship. > > In fairness to the OP, it doesn’t sound like this was the case with him. He apparently was not hiding his intentions or pretending like he just wanted to be friends. But I don’t see any reason to believe, as he suggests, that the woman was being dishonest with him either. When he asked her out, which was apparently just a few days after they started socializing, she said she liked talking to him but wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship. If he doesn’t want to hang out with her as friends then she’ll probably be disappointed, but no one is going to force him to go through the motions of friendship if he’s not interested. I don’t think anybody is playing anybody. For better or worse young to middle aged heterosexual men looking for relationships don’t usually choose to hang out with attractive datable women in their own age cohort women as one on one platonic social buddies. It can happen, but it’s unusual. Women enjoy the focused social attention of men in their own age cohort, but not the strings it often comes attached with. I get why they’re pissed when the man withdraws his attention post rejection, but pretending it was all some big scam is disingenuous. If a reasonably attractive, datable woman has a man paying notable interpersonal time and attention to her beyond random flirting and she doesn’t “get” that he is quite probably interested in her romantically then she is either very young and inexperienced or being willfully ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/143 "2015-02-09T01:55:09Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > Whenever I see the word “friendzone” I mentally replace it with the word “rejected”. > > “I asked a cute girl I’d been talking to on a date and she friendzoned me.” > > Is really the same as: > > “I asked a cute girl I’d been talking to on a date and she rejected me.” > > Romantic rejection hurts, it’s ok to be a little sad or disappointed. It’s not ok to demonize a person just because they’re not interested in you romantically, but you’re not obligated to be friends with them either. I never thought romantic rejection was a very good foundation for a friendship personally. > > The part that’s annoying is the whiny need to come up with a whole new word for romantic rejection and pretend there’s more depth to it than there is, but I can understand how ‘friendzone’ might feel better than calling it what it is. Bingo! “Friendzoned” = “Rejected”. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > I would feel a whole lot better about the word friendzone if I heard women using it as often as men do. But I never, ever hear that. “I was so into this guy, we were getting along so well, and then I asked him out and he put me in the friendzone.” > > I’m not saying that no woman ever has used it, but I’ve never heard it. It seems to be entirely a straight male thing. And it carries a lot of negative baggage. I agree that it’s basically synonymous with “rejected” because when most women reject a man, they want to remain friendly or cordial. And since it’s basically synonymous with rejection, it’s a negative word. > > I’d also be more ok with it if more men used it positively. “I’ve known Sally for 15 years, always been in the friendzone and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” or even “I put Jane in the friendzone shortly after we met, and we’ve gotten along great ever since.” > > Yet I never hear about men putting women in a friendzone. I never hear women saying that they put men in a friendzone. It’s always about men saying that women have put them in a friendzone. It’s always about what a woman has done to a man, from the man’s perspective. > > I’ve never heard other gay men use it. Some gay guys, after being rejected, will be fine with being friends, and some aren’t… but I’ve never heard a gay guy say “oh he put me in the friendzone” > > Until I start hearing it used positively, I’m never going to be able to take it seriously. See above. You will never hear “friendzoned” used positively because it is _by definition_ a negative term. Just because it contains the word “friend” in it does not mean there is anything actually _friendly_ or positive about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/144 "2015-02-09T02:01:57Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I was never playing her. I was never pretending to be her friend just to get in her pants. Did you complain about how these women had cruelly manipulated you into being their friend? Because if not, I wasn’t talking about you. > [@](#): > > But if I could go back and give my youthful self advice, in addition to trying to convince young me that it was okay to be attracted to girls and that girls could find young me attractive, I’d also advise myself not to worry too much about an obligation to remain friends with someone who’d rejected me: it’s totally fine to spend less time around someone if it’s uncomfortable for you. It sounds like you realize that this was an obligation that existed in your own mind and that these women weren’t actually forcing you to be their friend. Men who complain about being “stuck in the friendzone” don’t seem to see it that way. If one person doesn’t want to be friends with another person then I think it’s best that they not try to fake it. If a friendship suddenly cools then this may of course be sad if one person wanted it to continue as before, but not all friendships are forever and I don’t think the other person has done anything wrong unless they’re a jerk about it. > [@astro](#): > > Women enjoy the focused social attention of men in their own age cohort, but not the strings it often comes attached with. I get why they’re pissed when the man withdraws his attention post rejection, but pretending it was all some big scam is disingenuous. The only person here who I see acting like they were the victim of some big scam is the OP, who accused a woman of “playing” him after she turned him down romantically. > [@](#): > > If a reasonably attractive, datable woman has a man paying notable interpersonal time and attention to her beyond random flirting and she doesn’t “get” that he is quite probably interested in her romantically then she is either very young and inexperienced or being willfully ignorant. What is she supposed to do if she _does_ get it? Do you think the OP would have felt better if the woman had told him there was no way she was going out with him before he’d even asked her? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/145 "2015-02-09T02:09:11Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Did you complain about how these women had cruelly manipulated you into being their friend? Because if not, I wasn’t talking about you. > It sounds like you realize that this was an obligation that existed in your own mind and that these women weren’t actually forcing you to be their friend. Men who complain about being “stuck in the friendzone” don’t seem to see it that way. If one person doesn’t want to be friends with another person then I think it’s best that they not try to fake it. If a friendship suddenly cools then this may of course be sad if one person wanted it to continue as before, but not all friendships are forever and I don’t think the other person has done anything wrong unless they’re a jerk about it. Yeah, there’s several conversations going on, and I may have read things into what you said that weren’t there; sorry! Looks to me like there’s a continuum. -No point in being friends with a cute woman if you’re a single het guy EXCEPT to get into her pants. She turns you down, drop her and move on. -If a cute woman hangs out with you and you’re a single het guy, but then she turns you down, she was playing you! -If you make a move on a single woman who’s your friend, and she turns you down, no harm no foul, and if you don’t feel comfortable in the friendship after that, that’s how it goes, again no harm no foul. -If you make a move on a single woman who’s your friend, and she turns you down, and you leave the friendship, you were never her friend in the first place. Third position is the one that makes the most sense to me. First and second are obnoxious, and I tend to think the fourth is just plain incorrect. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/146 "2015-02-09T02:34:53Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > What is she supposed to do if she _does_ get it? Do you think the OP would have felt better if the woman had told him there was no way she was going out with him before he’d even asked her? A good question. I think, frankly, this is the core question this entire discussion revolves around. If a guy is attentive and interesting\* enough \* it’s probably in her best interests not to overtly discourage him unless he presses her to take the relationship to the next level and she does not want to. To paraphrase Chris Rock in general a woman is as interested, or not, in a man as her dating options allow her to be, and most savvy women have a pretty good handle on what their near range options are and how choosy they can be. If Mr. Right is not on the horizon getting attention from Mr. Right Now is good enough. Is this wrong if no sex is never going to be on the menu? Not really, young heterosexual women need male social attention in order to hone their interpersonal skills in dealing with men and making choices so this practice is essential. IMO it’s mostly the man’s job to discern if there’s a chance for his goals to be met. In this context being attractive, or even if not a beauty being fun, engaging and socially approachable is a big help for a woman because it gives you hard experience in being approached regularly and how to handle men. If you are a man who is shy, inexperienced, or like the OP kind of oblivious you are at the opposite end of the spectrum and will desperately grasp at anything to avoid facing the fact that a romance is not on the menu anytime in the foreseeable future. It may not seem fair for the desperately clueless to be left spinning but at some point they have to grow up. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/147 "2015-02-09T02:41:53Z")
You guys are seriously extrapolating from my OP into some truly bizarre & over-the-top territory. > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > OP literally says “I thought she was going out of her way to know me better” but attributes this to some form of trickery or non-honesty. Post 8. > > Maybe the problem is his low self-esteem, I don’t now. **But he literally doesn’t know why a person would get to know another person, except to fuck them, since that’s in his question.** Jesus Christ. That is not what I said. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/148 "2015-02-09T02:43:38Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > What is she supposed to do if she _does_ get it? Do you think the OP would have felt better if the woman had told him there was no way she was going out with him before he’d even asked her? I think a subtle way of rejecting some one who may be to affectionate for you is to say things like “You’re like a brother (or sister, depending on the circumstance) to me…” That right there set’s a very clear tone towards the nature of the relationship that the girl (or guy) wants. But I wouldn’t hate on a person for not thinking of that, it’s not like an obvious solution. (Sincerely, not being snarky.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/149 "2015-02-09T05:07:43Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I think a subtle way of rejecting some one who may be to affectionate for you is to say things like “You’re like a brother (or sister, depending on the circumstance) to me…” _Subtle?_ Ha! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/150 "2015-02-09T05:09:49Z")
Jesus Unfuckable Christ, the level of anger and hostility in this thread, and ALL threads like it, is utterly contagious. Now I need a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/151 "2015-02-09T06:03:00Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > _Subtle?_ Ha! 😃 Sure it’s the kiss of death, but hey, it’s subtle… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/152 "2015-02-09T06:12:06Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > You guys are seriously extrapolating from my OP into some truly bizarre & over-the-top territory. > > Jesus Christ. > > That is not what I said. :smack: I tend to find that IMHO is home to some of the most judgmental people on the face of the planet. So, don’t let it get you down too much. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/153 "2015-02-09T07:45:27Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > I know, I know, my post history is filled with these sorts of topics, but this one is such a zinger that I think it’s the most _confusing_ one that I’ve had in the past few years. > > Basically, I started talking to one of the women in my class. For a good few days, there was an _enormous_ amount of self-disclosure between the two of us, which more than anything else led me to believe she was interested in me. When I asked whether she had a boyfriend, she replied that she had actually just _broken up_ with him; subsequently, I asked for her number - which she gave to me - and we started conversing more through text messaging. She also let me take her out for coffee at a Starbucks on campus. > > She also spoke at length with me about Valentine’s Day, texted me questions about school and my day, and so on. > > To me, those signals suggested pretty forthrightly that she would’ve been down with me asking her out, right? > > Well, I did just that yesterday, only to have her response be along the lines of “I had a feeling that you’d ask me out, but I just broke up with my ex so recently I don’t want to get involved with anybody right now. You’re still cool, though, and I’d like to keep talking like this.” > > Should I take this response as it is, or was I being played & had already been friendzoned? I’ve been going over this thing in my head for the past day or so and it’s confusing the Hell out of me. > > Note: I’ve solicited input from a swath of other people IRL as well - men and women - and their responses have been similarly as perplexed. When I’d described the events to them _prior_ to me asking her out, they’d been universally confident that she was indeed interested. > > I’m confused. There is no confusion here at all. And I’m going to do you a big favor and help you save a lot of time. She’s a flake, move on. I don’t like her response to you first of all, that was pretty rude with “I had a feeling that you’d ask me out, but…”. No mentioned of how you might feel about this or anything, it’s all about her. Save yourself a lot of effort and heartache and just move on. Don’t reply to her any longer. Unfriend her, and when she calls look at caller ID and don’t pick-up the calls, and don’t return the calls. If you see her, just say “hello” and don’t spend time with her. It isn’t about if you were played or will you be, she’s a flake and has no regard for your feelings at all by her response. It doesn’t matter if she likes you or not, she isn’t worthy. I know this is a hard thing to hear, but it doesn’t matter, you went down the wrong road, it’s time to put the car in reverse and get out of this street and along your way. Please don’t listen to any advice or future advice about giving her space or you need to wait this thing out, and all that, that’s going to make you even more unhappy in the end. Move on. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/154 "2015-02-09T07:56:23Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I know this is crazy, but maybe she thought you would be an interesting person to get to know better. > > Pretty funny that you’re the one scheming for the poon, accusing her of playing you. You’re obviously not interested in her at all unless she wants to bone you, ergo, you’re the player. The OP is looking for a romantic relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t like the idea that because he was attracted to her, that is some how scheming and he deserves to be treated badly by her with those rude comments she said when he asked her out. He sounded like a gentleman here. He wasn’t asking just for a hook-up like some jerks do. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/155 "2015-02-09T08:25:13Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > I agree with pretty much everyone else here, that she was probably being sincere, and you should take her at her word. Either continue being friends with her and enjoying your time as friends at your dull school, or thank her for her honesty and say you were interested in a romantic relationship but not a platonic relationship. And with either choice, continue pursuing romantic relationships with other women. > > Also, what would be the harm at taking her at her word? On the small chance that she is playing some game, I don’t see what she’d get out of it if you took her at her word and were her friend didn’t pursue any romantic relationship with her. Taking her at her word isn’t important. It was her actions and language she used towards him when asked out. She’s rude, self-centered and doesn’t care about his feelings. Even if she was only seeking friendship 100%, that was not a friendly response. She isn’t worthy by this response of being pursued for romantic interests or as a friend. You want people to treat you like a real person, with feelings, and it doesn’t matter if they want to be friends or become romantic. It’s alarming how many people here are overlooking that. It’s the part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high, they entirely ignore the signs if someone is a flake or not. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/156 "2015-02-09T08:28:25Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > “Why do women have to play games, instead of forthrightly and clearly saying how they feel?” > > “Hey, wanna go out with me?” > > “I had a feeling that you’d ask me out, but I just broke up with my ex so recently I don’t want to get involved with anybody right now. You’re still cool, though, and I’d like to keep talking like this.” > > “What does she MEAN?” > > _How about: she just broke up with my ex so recently that she doesn’t want to get involved with anybody right now, but she’d like to keep talking like this?_ Or this: she just broke up with an ex and is using the OP to fill in the gaps and stringing him along taking advantage of his interest in her and good nature until he wises up and moves on. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/157 "2015-02-09T08:35:34Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > Every word of this is gospel. > > I speak from experience. I was once in a situation very similar to yours. I asked her out and she said she didn’t want a relationship. We became good friends. **Once in a while, I let her know I’d be open to more, but I didn’t push the issue.** I truly liked having her as a friend, and if she never wanted to date me, I still wanted her in my life. > > One day she said to me, “If you’re **still interested, maybe I am** too.” We’ve been married for 18 years now. After all her other options have been exhausted or was too lazy to find someone else, she selected you like a honorable mention door prize. This whole concept of Courtly Love is really dysfunctional. I have to ask you though, when you first asked her out, was she rude like this woman was? Likely not. Glad it worked out for you, but I have to say, that’s a pretty pathetic role model to follow as advice. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/158 "2015-02-09T08:42:30Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > You need to make it clear within the first or second time you hang out with a girl that you’re interested. > > You should have tried to kiss her and forced her to make a choice. As it stands now, she will tug you along and you will get nothing. Oh, this is good solid advice. Reminds me of how my friend met his wife. As soon as they were introduced by a mutual friend, he reached over and slipped his tongue down her throat, and before she could take a breath asked her out and she immediately said yes. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/159 "2015-02-09T08:54:19Z")
> [@CGav8r](#): > > Well, I dated a lot before I got married, I’ve been married for 20+ years, and I have lots of female friends, but I’ll level with you: > > I still have no idea about what women are thinking about 99% of the time. > Good luck. No offensive, but I wouldn’t brag about this. If you’ve not figured women out in 20+ years it’s because you aren’t paying attention or care. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897/160 "2015-02-09T11:21:32Z")
The bitterness is strong in this one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-her-at-her-word-or-have-i-been-friendzoned/711897.md?page=9)