# Take the Colbert Questionnert! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2022, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345 "2022-08-09T03:14:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/21 "2022-08-09T15:08:16Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > What is your favorite smell? **N/A. I don’t have a sense of smell. I have never smelled a rose.** 🥺 > What is your least favorite smell? **I still don’t have a sense of smell, but the air chokes me when I get near that one lady at work.** Her name wouldn’t be Rose, would it? ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/22 "2022-08-09T16:00:58Z")
Not that anyone really cares… ``` What is the best sandwich? Standard BLT What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? t-shirts I never wear What is the scariest animal? Grizzly Bear Sow with cubs Apples or oranges? Apples in the Winter/Oranges in the Summer Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? Yes What do you think happens when we die? Everything suddenly goes black. Forever. What is your favorite action movie? Jurassic Park (I like dinosaurs) What is your favorite smell? Burning White Sage incense What is your least favorite smell? Sweaty gym socks Is exercise worth it? Yes, until you die, then it doesn't matter that much. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling. Duh. Most used app on your phone? The Weather app... I live in the Rocky Mountains. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? Home Again - Elton John/Bernie Taupin What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 62 Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. He didn't suffer fools gladly. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/23 "2022-08-09T16:02:00Z")
I _wish_ I never smelled her… ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/24 "2022-08-09T16:16:39Z")
> [@solost](#): > > What is your favorite action movie? > _ **One they have yet to make: 'Takedown: the story of the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago and the subsequent downfall of the trump empire"** _ Thread winner. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/25 "2022-08-09T16:53:30Z")
- What is the best sandwich? - Philly Cheesesteak - What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? - Probably something in the fridge that’s forming goo in someplace that I can’t see. - What is the scariest animal? - Humans - Apples or oranges? - Depends on my mood - Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? - No - What do you think happens when we die? - Worms - What is your favorite action movie? - Big Trouble in Little China - What is your favorite smell? - My wife’s hair - What is your least favorite smell? - Hopefully, not that thing in the fridge. - Is exercise worth it? - Maybe not today but eventually it will be - Flat or sparkling? - Flat - Most used app on your phone? - Chrome - You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? - PII - What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) - 42 - Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. - Be cool to each other. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/26 "2022-08-09T17:20:14Z")
- What is the best sandwich? Hamburger with cheese, pickle & tomato - What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? Old RPG books - What is the scariest animal? Crocodile - Apples or oranges? Apples - Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? No - What do you think happens when we die? Sleep till judgment day - What is your favorite action movie? Die Hard - What is your favorite smell? Boysenberries - What is your least favorite smell? Urine - Is exercise worth it? Yes - Flat or sparkling? Sparkling - Most used app on your phone? Flipboard - You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? 4’33" by Cage - What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 8 - Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Slow decay leading to death. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/27 "2022-08-09T18:35:10Z")
> [@](#): > > - What is the best sandwich? **Grilled aged cheddar with summersausage on sour dough** > - What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? **old air conditioner window unit** > - What is the scariest animal? **giant squid** > - Apples or oranges? **Apples, but only just** > - Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? **Leonard Nimoy and Bart Starr** > - What do you think happens when we die? **sweet oblivion** > - What is your favorite action movie? **Terminator** > - What is your favorite smell? **Lilacs in bloom in our yard** > - What is your least favorite smell? **gangrenous necrotic bowel** > - Is exercise worth it? **yes** > - Flat or sparkling? **sparkling, except when it’s from the well on my property, then flat** > - Most used app on your phone? **Weather** > - You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? **Dylan’s full version of Mr. Tambourine Man** > - What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) **Eleventy-three** > - Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. **naps, good food, exercise, sex** ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/28 "2022-08-09T18:42:47Z")
``` What is the best sandwich? Bacon, egg and cheese bisquit What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? mattress What is the scariest animal? spider Apples or oranges? apple Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? yes What do you think happens when we die? nothing, just dead What is your favorite action movie? terminator or Predator What is your favorite smell? vanilla What is your least favorite smell? vomit Is exercise worth it? yes Flat or sparkling? flat Most used app on your phone? Buzztime trivia You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? I don't listen to music What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 39 Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. coasting way too much, Bud ``` ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/29 "2022-08-09T18:55:36Z")
i believe the record holder for that is jeff goldblum. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/30 "2022-08-09T19:06:12Z")
1. What is the best sandwich? All of them 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? Things I’ll probably never use 3. What is the scariest animal? Wasp 4. Apples or oranges? Apples 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? I paid for several autographs. Does that count? 6. What do you think happens when we die? 7. What is your favorite action movie? Star Wars 8. What is your favorite smell? 9. What is your least favorite smell? Musk 10. Is exercise worth it? No 11. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling 12. Most used app on your phone? Fetch, a money back app 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? 14. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 42 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Boring as hell, no question. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/31 "2022-08-09T19:32:44Z")
What is the best sandwich? Jamón serrano pata negra. If you are now really hungry you can leave the bread out, just eat the ham. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? Cigarrettes. What is the scariest animal? Mosquito. Apples or oranges? Apples. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? No. What do you think happens when we die? You lose consciousness forever, then there is nothing. What is your favorite action movie? The Great Escape. What is your favorite smell? Fresh coffee. Good coffee. What is your least favorite smell? I once opened a can of cat food that had gone bad. Really bad. I reckon that is the smell of botulism. I hope never to smelll that ever again. Is exercise worth it? No. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling. Most used app on your phone? Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary. I just had to look up how conciousness is spelled. Again. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? Whiter Shade of Pale. Perhaps I will finally understand it I listen to nothing else. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 17. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Books. Food. Beer. Wife. Asylum. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/32 "2022-08-09T19:53:54Z")
I wasn’t going to take this, but the answers so far and the wide variety of formats used by the members to answer the questions piqued my interest, so… 1. What is the best sandwich? **Double cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato and mayo.** 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? **A batch of shirts I haven’t worn in 10-12 years and probably never will-sentimental value** 3. What is the scariest animal? **Tarantula–all spiders really, but a tarantula is the worst.** 4. Apples or oranges? **Apples** 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? **Not that I can remember and certainly not in my adult life** 6. What do you think happens when we die? **fade to black and let the worms do their work** 7. What is your favorite action movie? **Die Hard-the original** 8. What is your favorite smell? **Fresh-baked Cinnamon rolls** 9. What is your least favorite smell? **cigar smoke** 10. Is exercise worth it? **yes, when not done to excess** 11. Flat or sparkling? **Flat** 12. Most used app on your phone? **Probably text-hardly use the thing** 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? **Graceland by Paul Simon** 14. What number am I thinking of? **42** 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. **travel, reading, coaching, decline, death** ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/33 "2022-08-09T20:02:25Z")
1. What is the best sandwich? **Ham and turkey on sourdough, pepper jack cheese, tarragon mustard, a double dose of thick mayo, lettuce, pickles chips, and lots of sprouts.** 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? **I’m currently in the process of de-cluttering, so… lots of it? If I had to pick one thing, it would probably be the old woodstove that was pulled out our house before we bought it and left in the side yard. It’s big, fugly, heavy as sin, and completely worthless. But I have a lot of other stuff like that too** 3. What is the scariest animal? **A Trumpist.** 4. Apples or oranges? **Apples. Oranges are messy and, frankly, kind of boring.** 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? **I have two books written by professors of my undergrad program that I respected and ultimately asked them to inscribe them for me** 6. What do you think happens when we die? **No clue. Biologically I know we just… cease to be. But I’ve seen enough weird shit from people on their deathbeds to make me believe the very real presence of some sort of afterlife. So… I don’t know.** 7. What is your favorite action movie? **Shit. Not a movie fan and really not an action movie fan. Uh… the original _Mad Max_ was pretty good. I liked it better than the remake. _Waterworld_ is one of my favorite movies but I don’t know if that counts as an action movie.** 8. What is your favorite smell? **The first rain after a long hot summer.** 9. What is your least favorite smell? **Rotting food. I’d rather smell an outhouse in the summer than open a Tupperware that’s been forgotten in the back of the fridge.** 10. Is exercise worth it? **Yeah but I don’t do it.** 11. Flat or sparkling? **No idea what this even refers to.** 12. Most used app on your phone? **Messenger, followed closely by Gmail and Facebook** 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? **_Under Pressure_, Queen** 14. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) **42** 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. **Will probably never be happy** ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/34 "2022-08-09T20:03:55Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > Flat or sparkling? **No idea what this even refers to.** Water, I hope! ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/35 "2022-08-09T20:22:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Water, I hope! Yes, after reading through the other responses it appears it refers to either wine or water. I’m a teetotaler so the wine is right out, but I prefer flat water to sparkling – although a Perrier is nice every once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/36 "2022-08-09T20:48:33Z")
1. What is the best sandwich? BLT 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? A .22 pistol. 3. What is the scariest animal? Man 4. Apples or oranges? Apples 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? No 6. What do you think happens when we die? We rot 7. What is your favorite action movie? The Last Samurai 8. What is your favorite smell? Rosemary 9. What is your least favorite smell? Beets 10. Is exercise worth it? Yes 11. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling 12. Most used app on your phone? GPS 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? Everybody Wants to Rule the World 14. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 21 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Gradual deterioration. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2022, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/37 "2022-08-09T21:30:43Z")
“My lucky number is four billion. It doesn’t come in useful when gambling. C’mon, four billion! Seven!? We need more dice! Four billion divided by six… at least….” (Mitch Hedberg) ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/38 "2022-08-10T20:49:26Z")
``` What is the best sandwich? Hoagie What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? My old cell phone What is the scariest animal? That bear chasing me Apples or oranges? Oranges Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? Don't think so. What do you think happens when we die? That's all folks. What is your favorite action movie? Don't like action movies What is your favorite smell? Vanilla What is your least favorite smell? H2S Is exercise worth it? Unfortunately, yes. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling. Most used app on your phone? Telephone. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? ``` “A nightingale sang” sung by Carol Welsman. ``` What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, ``` at the moment I’m typing this.) \pi ``` Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Decine slowly ``` and then die. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2022, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/39 "2022-08-11T12:41:20Z")
1. What is the best sandwich? The pepperoni sandwich at Young’s pizza in my hometown of Kingsville. 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? Some old clothes that no longer fit. 3. What is the scariest animal? Wasps. 4. Apples or oranges? Oranges. 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? The only autographs I’ve gotten have been after a show where a celebrity is signing for people who attended. The two I’ve gotten this way are Ramon Ayala and George Lopez. 6. What do you think happens when we die? It’s the same as things were before we were born. 7. What is your favorite action movie? Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. 8. What is your favorite smell? The ocean (at least the ocean at Padre Island and South Padre Island). 9. What is your least favorite smell? The insides of the intestines of people who have been dead a few days. 10. Is exercise worth it? Yes. 11. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling. 12. Most used app on your phone? Safari. 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? Mozart’s 17th piano concerto / K 453. 14. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) Nineteen. 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Struggle between lazy and motivated. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2022, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345/40 "2022-08-11T13:08:51Z")
1. What is the best sandwich? Roast pork with provolone & broccoli rabe from DiNic’s in Reading Terminal Market 2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? My old camping backpack. 3. What is the scariest animal? Great white shark. 4. Apples or oranges? Apples 5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? Yes 6. What do you think happens when we die? We’re gone. 7. What is your favorite action movie? Mad Max Fury Road 8. What is your favorite smell? Cinnamon 9. What is your least favorite smell? Rotting flesh 10. Is exercise worth it? Definitely 11. Flat or sparkling? Sparkling 12. Most used app on your phone? Gmail 13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? You Can’t Always Get What You Want 14. What number am I thinking of? (In this case, me, RickJay, at the moment I’m typing this.) 14 15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. Lurching haplessly towards the end. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-colbert-questionnert/969345.md?page=3)