# Take The Death Test.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927 "2001-04-05T15:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/1 "2001-04-05T15:22:18Z")
if you dare… Here’s the link, [http://test.thespark.com/deathtest/](http://test.thespark.com/deathtest/) I’m going to live to December The 1, 2044, I will be 81 years old…, [sub]But I think I’ll be older than that.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/2 "2001-04-05T16:25:37Z")
Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on: December 11, 2067 at the age of 86 years old. Looks like I’ll outlive you by a few years, Anniz. ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/3 "2001-04-05T16:55:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > Looks like I’ll outlive you by a few years, Anniz. \*\* Yep, it does, and also that you and I only dare to take the test.😉 [sub]Btw, Montfort got a job and started to work today.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/4 "2001-04-05T17:31:25Z")
Yay:) Go him. What’s the job? Or would you tell me, but then you’d have to kill me? ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/5 "2001-04-05T17:47:12Z")
Looks like I’m the first to go so far: September 10, 2040 at the age of 75 years old. I’m most likely going to die of a heart attack (27%) or cancer (19%), but I’m hoping for auto-fellatio (6%). [sub]Congratulations to Montfort![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/6 "2001-04-05T17:50:54Z")
Meant to add: I wonder how “poor penmanship” in question #5 affected by score? ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/7 "2001-04-05T17:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Yay:) Go him. What’s the job? > > \*\* Some computerjob, managment a website for a company or something like that, he can probably explain it better than me, my English is not that good to talk about computerstuff. ---
**Author:** ![Tabeitha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b3f665/32.png) [@Tabeitha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabeitha)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/8 "2001-04-05T18:06:26Z")
September 17, 2032 at the age of 60 years old. On that date you will most likely die from: ``` Cancer (36%) Horrible Accident (12%) ``` Alcoholism (8%) Drowning (7%) Alien Abduction (6%) Heart Attack (5%) I’m 92% sure it will be an alien abduction! ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/9 "2001-04-05T18:38:08Z")
August 22, 2043 at the age of 67 years old. On that date you will most likely die from: Heart Attack (24%) Cancer (24%) Electrolysis (9%) Alcoholism (6%) Alien Abduction (5%) Ack, at least deathclock gave me till 2050. [http://www.deathclock.com](http://www.deathclock.com) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/10 "2001-04-05T19:06:50Z")
I’m next, in more ways than one: March 3, 2022. 4:37 p.m. Most likely causes: Cancer (25%), Heart Disease (18%), or electrolysis (9%). ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/11 "2001-04-05T19:14:04Z")
Ahhhh crap. December 18, 2041. I’ll be 74 years old. I was really hoping to have a longer retirement than that, but whatcha gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/12 "2001-04-05T19:34:36Z")
Says I’ll die in 2048. What a crock. My horoscope clearly shows that I’ll get hit on a bus on June 31, 2026. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/13 "2001-04-05T19:57:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bottle of Smoke \* > \*\*Ahhhh crap. December 18, 2041. I’ll be 74 years old. > > \*\* Same day same year! Death by electolysis (11%). Let’s have a party that day and go out in style ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/14 "2001-04-05T20:24:35Z")
September 14, 2035, at the age of 81 years old. Of course, I can’t give too much credibility to a test that gives me 7% chance of dying by alien abduction, and 8% chance of dying by autofellatio, an activity that I couldn’t manage at the youngest age (11 or 12) that it occurred to me to try it. Also, the average life expectancy of the test takers, by their standards, is 67. That’s well below average expectancy at birth in the US and most European countries, and undoubtedly well below average for Netizens as a group. So I’d add a few years to their guesstimate. And I have no idea what’s the deal about hairy nipples, poor penmanship, or watching South Park. ---
**Author:** ![RonA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@RonA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RonA)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/15 "2001-04-05T20:27:41Z")
According to DeathTest: Jan. 9, 2039 at the age of 76 Cancer (31%) Heart Attack (15%) Alcoholism (8%) Suicide (7%) Alien Abduction (7%) Loneliness (7%) Auto-Fellatio (7%) Contagious Disease (5%) According to DeathClock: Sep. 19, 2036 1,118,820,900 seconds and counting… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/16 "2001-04-05T20:30:34Z")
And according to the Deathclock, which bases its prediction on only your date of birth, gender, and whether you feel normal, optimistic, pessimistic, or sadistic, my “Personal Day of Death is…Saturday, February 12, 2050” when I would be just shy of 96, FWIW. ---
**Author:** ![RonA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@RonA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RonA)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/17 "2001-04-05T20:36:40Z")
You know, if I get so lonely that I auto-fellate, and then I catch some disease from it, I think I’ll just kill myself. But I’d have to be drunk to do it. Hey, wait a minute… ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/18 "2001-04-05T20:40:09Z")
I beat all of you!! I’m a goner in 2061, at the ripe old age of 91, when I’ll die of a heart attack. According to those questions… [sub]I’m a real lame-ass![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/19 "2001-04-05T20:54:52Z")
March 2, 2053 at the age of 74 years old. On that date you will most likely die from: Cancer (40%) Heart Attack (11%) Horrible Accident (7%) Third Degree Burns (6%) Auto-Fellatio (5%) Drowning (5%) ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927/20 "2001-04-05T20:59:30Z")
So, the spark tells me I’ve got till Dec 24, 2041, age 74. Deathclock Gives me july 25, 2058, or about 91 if my math holds up. And here I was shooting for 103, darn. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-death-test/60927.md?page=2)