# Take the Gender Test! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854 "2001-02-02T13:19:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/61 "2001-02-03T04:04:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*monster, those were my answers, too . . . ? \*\* Yes, but my other answers must’ve been the girly answers. And since you were _almost_ designated a woman, so must’ve yours. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/62 "2001-02-03T04:43:29Z")
Damn! Aparently I am a woman. I am so disillusioned. ( on the plus side, there are a whole bunch of women I know how must now be considered “lesbians”. I wonder if they know…) Naturally, this news caused me to become despondent. I wandered through my home, idly staraightening the framed picture of Alan Alda in my living room, as I fluffed the throw pillows on my couch and replaced the towels in the bathroom with ones that matched the rug. What to do? What to do? I decided to masterbate to feel better. Imagine my dismay when I reached down and realized that I had done so not with a semi-closed fist but with two fingers extended. After cuddling my cat Snuggles, I took the pies out of the oven to cool, and went looking for my gun. I took the .22 pistol out of it’s paisly holster, and put it to my head, when a wonderful thought occured to me… Does anyone have Espree’s number out in California? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/63 "2001-02-03T05:07:32Z")
Well, first time around I came out a girl, as I entered the world so many years ago. Then I tried to think like a guy, and lo and behold, I am a dude. Although I am still kinda a “girlie guy”, so I guess I can’t leave my fabulous femininity too far behind. Yes, I am a frail flower of femininity, and I’ll use those brass knuckles on any one who says differently. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/64 "2001-02-03T05:10:10Z")
So I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body. Of course, I already knew that; my psychic told me years ago. The same one who told me I’m going to die in September of this year. That’s why I’m not going to bother changing my username. Besides “JBirdwoman12” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Besides that, I still have a package; therefore, I’m male where it really counts. ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/65 "2001-02-03T10:08:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sealemon88 \* > > Try taking a deep, DEEP breath, holding your nose, closing your mouth, then trying to blow out. That should do it. > > \*\* I tried. I really did. Now I’m deaf. And still no penis. Thanks… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/66 "2001-02-03T12:07:50Z")
They claim I am a woman! I’m not! I’m not! I have a wife, I have kids, I’m not a woman! I am kind of sensitive, though. ---
**Author:** ![iamutt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9e8a1a/32.png) [@iamutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamutt)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/67 "2001-02-03T14:13:54Z")
**extends hand; "Pull my finger…"** Guy here! (God! my wife and kids hate it when I do that…! But isn’t that like a fatherly tradition?) ---
**Author:** ![kiffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d78d45/32.png) [@kiffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiffa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/68 "2001-02-03T15:51:40Z")
I’m a woman who tested a man. My daughter tested as a woman. I wonder if there is a generation gap here? ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/69 "2001-02-03T17:07:42Z")
It said I was a man, but I was only just into the pale blue on the graph. The Bem sex roles inventory says I’m sex typed in the masculine direction, too. (3.2 feminine, 4.9 masculine) Personally, I think gender stereotyping is ridiculous. It annoys me when surveys say things like “men tend to do A” and “women tend to do B,” when they mean “A is a characteristic that mainstream society currently sees as masculine” and “B is a characteristic that mainstream society sees as feminine.” The Spark test doesn’t annoy me because it’s clearly tongue in cheek (and retarded). I have the body of a woman, and the mind of a person. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/70 "2001-02-03T18:23:57Z")
I am a woman… That s relieving… how would I have told my boyfriend? (I could have gone on Jerry Springer but it would have been a bit over the top, right?) But… did you all get this picture of a woman with this totaly manly face? Kind of disturbing… 😃 PS: I took another test once that saied I was a man trying to pass for a woman :rolleyes: Plus that I made a test in a magazine that was meant for men only… to track down if they were gentlemen or just dirty bastards… I am 100 % bastard. The magazine told me that I would never find a girlfriend if I didnt start washing my trainers now and then… sheesh… they look best dirty. dodgy ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/71 "2001-02-03T18:30:11Z")
how the hell do I get my boyfriend to take the test? 😃 😃 😃 I am not lesbian you know… ´so if he turns out to be a woman with a dick I ll of course leave her… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/72 "2001-02-03T20:57:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > \*\*I, too, am I man. But barely. > I wonder which monkey each gender prefers. I was rooting for the flying one on the right. \*\* I wondered too. I picked flying monkey. But it said i’m a woman, and it was right. Hmmm. Interesting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/73 "2001-02-03T21:01:33Z")
I cant imagine anybody took the left monkey. The right one looked so violent. I d put a bet on him anytime. dodgy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/74 "2001-02-03T21:21:37Z")
I am a man and it said I was, so… well, you know… that just _proves_ it works. There’s an interesting parallel here with stuff like astrology columns in papers and magazines. A lot of people look at ‘their’ astrology column, read it and think “oh my gosh, it’s so darned accurate! Guess there must be something to this astrology business after all…”. But of course, as most Dopers seem to be aware, the ‘positive’ result doesn’t tell us anything by itself. If you were to select any of the other columns, and read that out to the subject, chances are that would fit too. You can turn this into a fairly interesting bit of research next time you’re with friends (and have nothing more scandalous to do). Give people half a dozen astrology columns, but with the actual star sign somehow blanked out or neutrally-coded, and they won’t be able to pick out the ‘right’ reading any more reliably than chance. Same with this test. The ‘positive’ results don’t tell us anything about the accuracy of the test, but if you take it on your own and it gets the answer ‘right’ then it could seem suitably amazing. Incidentally, **Dodgy** , I did choose the ape on the left. In my mind, I figured the picture on the left was a big ape, like gorilla-sized, whereas the flying monkey on the right looked more vicious but smaller, monkey-sized. So I figured the left ape would win. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/75 "2001-02-03T21:29:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ianzin \* > \*\* > Incidentally, **Dodgy** , I did choose the ape on the left. In my mind, I figured the picture on the left was a big ape, like gorilla-sized, whereas the flying monkey on the right looked more vicious but smaller, monkey-sized. So I figured the left ape would win. \*\* Damn. 😉 I picked the wrong monkey maybe and he might lose… another of my great theories distroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/76 "2001-02-04T03:44:45Z")
Heh manly man here with the arrow directly in the center. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/77 "2001-02-05T03:31:31Z")
It all adds up… You are definitely a woman! Well, they were right, but I did get the arrow right in the middle, so they were obviously guessing–and I also got man’s head on a woman’s body pictured about the scale. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/78 "2001-02-05T04:54:44Z")
I’m a woman. Lying sons a bitches. Of course, my little dial thingy was almost exactly halfway. It was, I dare say, two millimeters or less towards the woman side. I even picked ‘manly’ answers (bleeding, falling, probably more.) ---
**Author:** ![DonQuixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@DonQuixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonQuixote)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/79 "2001-02-05T04:56:31Z")
Well, contrary to popular belief, I am indeed a woman. Damn. Kinda halts a lot of plans I had. Oh well. This may qualify for a story under the Very Vaguely Creepy thread. That pic of the woman, which I think is their projection of what I’m supposed to look like, DID look an awful lot like me. I’m not a female though. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854/80 "2001-02-05T05:09:16Z")
[hijack] **iamutt** , we’re going to have to figure out a nickname for you that isn’t **iam**. That’s mine. I don’t suppose you’d mind being called **mutt**?🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-the-gender-test/52854.md?page=5)