# Take your giant rope spiderweb and shove it, Mr. Team-Builder! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 26, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576 "2004-08-26T11:10:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/41 "2004-08-28T14:15:13Z")
If the event is a compulsory part of your job, I’d imagine any injury would be covered by workmen’s comp. I hope companies stupid enough to pull this shit get drowned in claims. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/42 "2004-08-29T04:14:00Z")
Had it been me, I’d’ve woven the facilitator into the spiderweb to make a lovely and functional planter. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/43 "2004-08-29T06:07:45Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Had it been me, I’d’ve woven the facilitator into the spiderweb to make a lovely and functional planter. > > Robin Where would you put the ficus? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/44 "2004-08-29T08:19:35Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > About 4 years ago, the company I worked for \dotcom\ wasted a whole day with that stupid Fishmarket thing. > > A month later, they laid off 40 employees in our office and about 150 company-wide. > > Now _that’s_ the way to build morale, you fucking twits. :rolleyes: > > In the meeting where they told us “bye”, the regional vice-president had the balls to say, (and I quote, since it’s forever burned into my memory) “It’s days like this that make me really hate my job.” Oh, so sorry for you, shithead. At least you still HAVE one. Fucker. At that point, since I was laid off and had nothing to lose, I’d say that out loud. To his face. I’d like to find the person at KrapMart who came up with the idea of the “Kmart Cheer!” every morning. Spelling out “GO KMART!” and clapping at 8 am makes me homicidal. It was a damned good thing I didn’t work back in sporting goods near the firearms. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/45 "2004-08-29T13:34:39Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > I was on the graveyard shift at the time, and I suspect I had a much harder time smiling than anyone else. I seem to remember that you once posted a picture of yourself wearing a really creepy smile (I wouldn’t know where to find it, though). I bet if you’d smiled at _them_ like that, they’d have gently sat you down and slowly backed away! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/46 "2004-08-29T13:59:13Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > Where would you put the ficus? Use your imagination? 😉 Robin ---
**Author:** ![Idiot\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/22d042/32.png) [@Idiot\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idiot_Road)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/47 "2004-08-29T15:47:00Z")
> [@CloudClever](#): > > I take it none of you have watched “Made in Canada”. Basically it is a show about a poor working environemnt. Anyway, one day they do one of these retreats, and everybody hated it. And so the punch line to the show was at the very end, they are sitting in a room complaining, and one character asks another character a name of a company that was bothering/courting her. So the first character calls up that company and reccommeds the retreat that they had gone on. > \*\* > So you see what you all have to do. Call up other companies, and recommend your retreat activities to them! Spread the pain around. Revenge is a dish best served often!\*\* > > Too bad the CBC doesn’t play “Made in Canada” anymore. That episode was classic. I like Richard’s line at the beginning “There’s no I in team, well there’s no I in huge waste of money either.” And if I’m not mistaken, CBC shows it Tuesday to friday at 1:30 in the afternoon (at least here in New Brunswick). To end that hijack, my journalism teacher in grade 12 made us do that crap too. Every second class was stuff like “what colour is your balloon”. I messed up the birthday thing because apparently my balloon was orange… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/48 "2004-08-29T22:34:55Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Just curious here. What would happen if you just said “I’m not doing this silly nonsense”? Risking your neck (literally) does not foster trust or teaming (a word I instinctually hate) or anything else. It would make a little more sense to just say “We’re gonna set ourselves on fire and lay under a steamroller cuz chicks dig it”. I did do that. Got glared at, mainly by the hominid resources dweeb and the personnel of the program. Then I gently pointed out my various physical problems and said that if I do anything in that progam that makes any problem the slightest bit worse, I would sue the living bejesus out of the company, the HR idiot personally, the camp personnel as a corporate entity and singly as private individuals. I then pointed out that I had the best call volume in the call center, and the most appointments set, the most problems dealt with, and that they paid me to answer phones, and perform other very specific duties, and that I was going to go and sit under a tree and read the company founders autobiography,and they could all sod off. Oddly, about half of the people there ended up under the tree with me, and nobody got into trouble. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/49 "2004-08-29T22:46:50Z")
Do companies still do that stuff? I used to be a management consultant, and we abandoned that sort of thing like 10, 15 years ago. It obviously was a waste of time. I didn’t think anybody did that stuff anymore. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/50 "2004-08-29T22:50:26Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Do companies still do that stuff? I used to be a management consultant, and we abandoned that sort of thing like 10, 15 years ago. It obviously was a waste of time. I didn’t think anybody did that stuff anymore. As long as management can be duped into paying big bucks for useless services, there will be team-building retreats. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/51 "2004-08-30T03:22:01Z")
See, this is why I loved my old school district. Our yearly retreat was two days long - six hours of looking over student stats followed by barbecue, beer, horseshoes, and then a soak in the Olympic sized hot tub. None of this team building bullshit. I’d still be there, expect for the part about moving 1200 miles away. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/52 "2004-08-30T03:42:06Z")
I don’t do trust falls. I had one of these retreat things for school. I informed the Sadist running it that I didn’t do trust falls and when pressed reiterated that I didn’t trust very many of my classmates. I’m way more stubborn than the average motivator so I got to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/53 "2004-08-30T17:22:21Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > JESUS! CALL AN AMBULANCE! CALL MY LAWYER! JESUS! JESUS! I’m confused: Jesus is either your lawyer or your personal assistant. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576/54 "2004-08-30T19:50:55Z")
We do this shit about twice a year. I just tell them I’m too old and cynical for this to do any good. Fortunately I’m good enough at what I do to not suffer reprecussions from being an awkward bastard. My ambition is to never win the “Team Player” award. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-giant-rope-spiderweb-and-shove-it-mr-team-builder/261576.md?page=2)