# Take Your Virginity and Shove It Up Your Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302 "2003-01-22T22:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/221 "2003-01-23T23:11:24Z")
Well, the number one reason I’m still a virgin is that the opportunity to have sex has never come up. So I label myself Virgin by Default. However, back in high school, I DID make a sort of “vow”, if you will, to wait until I was older and more mature. The main reason being is that I was always seeing one of my best friends (who was sexually active at sixteen) through one pregnancy scare or another. I paid attention in sex ed, read about the different kinds of birth control, and the success rate and said to myself, “Self, you are not ready for the _responsibility_ of having sex.” And before anyone starts in on, oh, no big responsibility, I beg to differ. I knew I did NOT want the hassle of worrying about birth control, or diseases, or whatever. I had enough to worry about, with grades and school and friends and getting into college. I thought-“The last thing I need is another thing to worry about.” Now, I do think I’d have to be in love with someone, care about someone and trust that individual. However, seeing the reaction of various guys in this thread, tells me guys like that are few and far between. And I’m more discouraged than EVER that I’m going to meet someone who is actually patient and caring enough. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/222 "2003-01-23T23:17:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > **Oh, and minty, as a Texan, you of all people, should know that for many Southern males sheep are the sex partners of choice. 😉** At least we’re not related to them 😛 Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/223 "2003-01-23T23:21:18Z")
Clearly, **Tuckerfan** needs to read _The Last Picture Show_. Yeah, right, sheep. This is _cattle_ country, son! ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/224 "2003-01-23T23:22:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > **However, seeing the reaction of various guys in this thread, tells me guys like that are few and far between. And I’m more discouraged than EVER that I’m going to meet someone who is actually patient and caring enough.** Few and far between, perhaps, but present nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/225 "2003-01-23T23:23:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by montag01 \* > \*\*Amateur. My dick so big, when I come I bring Pi. \*\* Feh, when I come, I bring Phi. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/226 "2003-01-23T23:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*quote: > > Originally posted by Tuckerfan > Oh, and minty, as a Texan, you of all people, should know that for many Southern males sheep are the sex partners of choice. > At least we’re not related to them 😛 > > Enjoy, > Steven \*\* So is that why my dad says, “People are sheep?” (Kind of insulting to sheep, if you ask me, after all they’re _bred_ to be stupid.) BTW, **minty** it was from a Texan I first heard the phrase, “It was a time when men were men and sheep were nervous.” ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/227 "2003-01-23T23:24:39Z")
Wow, I should have thought better of it when I posted the sarky second (and third) replies to the OP. This thread has, um, multiplied like rabbits. I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. My (now ex-) was. I regretted my past “indiscretion” dearly when I met her, and we neared our wedding day. You see, after a few years of agnosticism, I had moved slowly back into the sort of evangelical Christianity my wife believed in. (Theologically, I was still liberal, but morally I was dead serious.) During our engagement we “fooled around”–petting as I guess you would call it–but never in any kind of intercourse. It was all right, I thought, until just before our marriage. I knew that she was a recovering anorexic, and that she had serious body image issues. Now she said that she felt that sex was evil and disgusting, and that she didn’t think she could “go through with it” even after our wedding day. Her concerns were largely correct. We went to sex counselling for months, but she never “enjoyed” “having to have” sex (her words). I knew because of her past there was little I could do to change how she felt. Within about ten months, other issues started damaging our marriage beyond repair. As I now understand, she started seeing someone else, our marriage officially ended last year, and she is now married to the “someone else.” The point of this confessional is that I can understand her confusion in a way. All throughout her teenage years, she’d been “bombarded” (her word again) with “sex is bad” warnings by her evangelical church leaders, peers, etc. I know that they were really supposed to be saying “premarital sex is bad,” but somehow that got lost along the way. Then, after her wedding day, that thing that was evil, bad, never to be talked about, suddenly became something you absolutely had to do (“the will of God!” as our rector said during the marriage service). How can you change your views on _anything_, let alone an act so fraught with psychological reprecussions, so totally? It would be, I guess, like a society where, say, theft was punishable by death (and since many evangelicals regard fornication as punishable by spiritual death, it’s not far off), except on Tuesdays, when you _had_ to steal, or otherwise face reproach. I know we were not alone in how we felt about this subject. Our counsellor told us that a number of her patients were also evangelical Christians who could simply not bring themselves to commit an act that they were told was “wrong” and which they did not feel they could discuss between them. I know the answer is not “so, they should just have sex before marriage.” But it **does** demonstrate that, to use a poor turn of phrase, “the cult of virginity” can have some bad effects. I’m sure for many couples who waited, sex after marriage is a straightforward act, and they can enjoy it. But for some of us, it wasn’t, and we didn’t, and it affected our marriages badly. [sub]I’m not taking back what I said in the second post. My dick is so big its UN rep is running for President of the Security Council. But being able to joke about that doesn’t mean I’m necessarily want to put it in every woman I see.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/228 "2003-01-23T23:31:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bluethree \* > \*\*Hmmm, I’ve had sex with about fifteen Catholic guys. Only one of them was married to me. Apparently they weren’t reluctant to engage in premarital sex. \*\* Because as we all know…the term “Good Catholic Girls” refers to skills, not morals 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/229 "2003-01-23T23:31:33Z")
> [@](#): > > However, back in high school, I DID make a sort of “vow”, if you will, to wait until I was older and more mature… > > And before anyone starts in on, oh, no big responsibility, I beg to differ. I knew I did NOT want the hassle of worrying about birth control, or diseases, or whatever. I had enough to worry about, with grades and school and friends and getting into college. Well said, **Guinastasia** – and you obviously already had a much more mature attitude about it than many high-school kids. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/230 "2003-01-23T23:32:42Z")
[quote] **samarm** I would need you to expand on your definition of “routine”. My partner and I have “routine” sex, if you call having sex regularly “routine”. However, it’s more than just a mechanical thing to get over and done with before sleep.\*\* I guess I just mean there should be a level of sexual comfort with the other person. You don’t want to get stuck with somebody who’s either too weird for you sexually (a foot fetish would get pretty stale if you weren’t really into it) or someone aversive to it to the point that you can’t have a casual little quickie before bedtime. Btw, **jarbaby** I wasn’t saying that a virgin would _necessarily_ be bad in bed, or that a couple that waits for marriage _can’t_ be sexually compatible. I’m only saying that it _might_ happen. You _might_ wait till marriage and then find out your partner has a piss fetish or is repulsed by oral sex or needs to be cursed at or any number of things which you might find disturbing or dissonant to your relationship. I guess my point is that I don’t see what is _gained_ by waiting, not that it’s necessarily bad. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/231 "2003-01-23T23:42:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m only saying that it might happen. You might wait till marriage and then find out your partner has a piss fetish or is repulsed by oral sex or needs to be cursed at or any number of things which you might find disturbing or dissonant to your relationship. Oh my word. I can’t imagine getting married to someone without discussing all of these things beforehand. Many intimate and personal things _must_ (IMO) be discussed, including sex. Just because a couple doesn’t actually follow through with the complete act doesn’t meant that they shouldn’t know each other pretty well, and haven’t discussed their preferences, etc. etc. I think jarbaby said that she and her husband discussed certain intimate details and sexual preferences before they were married. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/232 "2003-01-23T23:43:10Z")
**Guin** , from everything I’ve seen you post here, you seem to be a highly intelligent and caring woman. I seriously doubt that any man who met and fell in love you would drop you simply because you’re a virgin. If he does, he’s a piece of shit, not worth your time. My advice is _not_ to tell the guy rightaway that you’re a virgin, but _do_ tell him before your first time. That way, if he knows what the hell he’s doing he can take make the extra effort necessary so that its as painless and enjoyable as it can be. (Besides, you may be one of the fortunate women who’s first time _isn’t_ painful!) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/233 "2003-01-23T23:43:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by even sven \* > \*\*Oops. My bad…it’s “purity ring”, not “promise ring”. And yes, I think it’s barbaric to expect women to publically display a symbol meaning “My sexuality is under the purview of my father, until he passes it down to another man”. Why don’t we just hang out the bloody sheets? > > \*\* I believe a “promise” ring is like a pre-engagment ring. Sort of like wearing your boyfriend’s fraternity pin or classring. Cheesy, and sappy. As for hanging out the sheets, didn’t they used to do that back in the middle ages? ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/234 "2003-01-23T23:44:48Z")
**Tuckerfan** I have to admit I was a little offended by this thread (not as much as I would have been at one time)…yes I do see what you are saying about the holier than thou types…so not to worry… You should have seen me back when I had a real hangup on this subject, on the DC comics board there was this stupid bint on the Wonder Woman board who said that women who weren’t virgins had ‘power’ that virgins didn’t or some such crap-her exact quote was ‘look into your mother’s eyes, no virgin has that power’ I was bloody furious about that comment because _I_ had not at that time had a penis inserted into my vagina (because it just wasn’t possible to have a relationship at that time) and that stupid comment hurt me very deeply. What is this power you gain when you have a penis stuck in your vagina for the first time? laser eye beams? the power of flight? The power to talk to fish like Aquaman? In anger I told her exactly what I thought of her and I got banned from that mb! I should have been more temperate with what I said but I was really hurt and angry…(And the profanity filter at the dcmb filters out ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ errr aren’t they medical words not swear words? pathetic) Anyway I finally got a penis stuck in my hoo-hoo (now there is a nice mature thing to call it) and surprise surprise I gained no magical powers! I still don’t have the slightest idea what this ‘power’ that virgin females lack is according to that moronic bint at the WW board… (they are really hung up on the whole virginity thing at the dcmbs…a lot of posters at ww board seem to be personally offended that ww is a virgin in current continuity…I say that if you are worrying about the hymen of a fictional character you have way, way, way too much time on your hands! but that is just me) and FWIW, when I had the thingy stuck in my thangy for the first time, it didn’t hurt at all, it wasn’t even particularly uncomfortable…I was almost disappointed…I expected blood dammit ! 😃 Anyway I think the moral of this is…it doesn’t blinking matter either way! Phew! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/235 "2003-01-23T23:53:26Z")
Well **minty** , in **Tuckerfan’s** defense, he didn’t say Texans slept with sheep, just some Southern gentlemen and that Texans would KNOW about those habits. Not that we necessarially HAVE those habits. A fine line I admit. Oh, and my dick has veto power on the U.N. Security Council. Yep, it’s the sixth superpower. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/236 "2003-01-23T23:56:53Z")
Mine is a weapon of mass destruction. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/237 "2003-01-24T00:05:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Sexual compatibility is part and parcel to a relationship for the man. It’s easy for a woman not to care if the sex is crappy, they usually don’t come anyway. But don’t kid yourself that a man is going to be satisfied with lots of love and respect as a balm for a lousy sex life. Sex is a strong and specific need for a man. It’s not an “expression” of anything. It’s not a way to show love. It’s a way to bust a nut. It’s just a physical release on a par with taking a piss or letting one rip. If a man has a partner who is sexually unsatisfying, then the _relationship_ is unsatisfying, no matter how much he loves and respects her. > > \*\* With attitudes like these, I’m surprised that YOU are not a virgin. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/238 "2003-01-24T00:28:07Z")
My dick has nuclear weapons, and I dare the US try to invade it!!! Seriously, I’m a virgin as well. And I don’t think I’m better than thou. It does mean that it gives me a little time to read up on it before I engage. Now, where’s my copy of the _Kama Sutra_? Hey just because I’m a virgin does not mean I have to be ignorant, does it?? ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/239 "2003-01-24T00:55:05Z")
diogenes, i ain’t ever sleeping with you. and i’m so drunk i can barey read the OP… seriously… i’m glad irishfella was my 14th…and that counts a rape and a sexual assault as actual numbers. sometimes you gotta be sure it’s the best… and boy am i sure. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/240 "2003-01-24T01:13:49Z")
Hey, I’m not really as crude as my posts. I was maybe just going overboard a little bit in trying to illustrate that sexual release is a biological (non-emotional) need for men akin to any other biological function. A better analogy would be to say that eating is a biological need. It’s better to eat a nice restaurant with nice music and tuxedoed waiters than it is to eat at McDonalds. But no matter how nice the restaurant _looks_ if the food is crappy, the McDonalds starts to look a lot better. Fortunately for me, I love my wife like crazy, and she would never put up with a lout. If she saw my previous posts, she would smack me in the head. I hope she doesn’t open this thread. (she lurks sometimes, just to keep tabs on me). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=13)