# Take Your Virginity and Shove It Up Your Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302 "2003-01-22T22:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/241 "2003-01-24T01:25:08Z")
**Diogenes** : You may want to rethink your premise that women don’t really care if they go without sex. I don’t think that’s the case for even the majority of women. Quite honestly, all the women I know like and desire sexual release just as much as the men I know. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/242 "2003-01-24T01:33:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > It’s easy for a woman not to care if the sex is crappy, they usually don’t come anyway. But don’t kid yourself that a man is going to be satisfied with lots of love and respect as a balm for a lousy sex life. Sex is a strong and specific need for a man. It’s not an “expression” of anything. It’s not a way to show love. It’s a way to bust a nut. It’s just a physical release on a par with taking a piss or letting one rip. If a man has a partner who is sexually unsatisfying, then the _relationship_ is unsatisfying, no matter how much he loves and respects her. They don’t usually come? Then I guess I got lucky…I found one who does. And as for sex as only a way to bust a nut … fella, intimacy is about a lot of stuff. Orgasm is but a part of it (for us, anyway). You don’t happen to have a fascination with the male circumsized penis, do you? A strong desire to "un"circumcie it by stretching existing skin over the head to give it a new foreskin?😉 ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/243 "2003-01-24T01:45:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mojo \* > \*\*Some people choose virginity, others have it thrust upon them. > > Maybe “thrust” isn’t the best word, but I think one reason that people go out of their way to brag that they’ve been saving themselves for their wedding night is so that people don’t assume they’re in the second category. \*\* Um. No. IME, when people brag about “saving themselves for their wedding night” they’re the kind of people the OP was railing about. OTOH, those of us who have had it “thrust” upon us either don’t generally discuss it, or - if it comes up - acknowledge it, but don’t “brag” about it. I’m not saving myself for marriage. (For one thing, I don’t ever intend to get married.) I am, however, a virgin, because the only guys who have ever come on to me IRL have been creepy, looking for a “mommy”, or untrustworthy. Neither trait is acceptable to me, so, virginity it is. (AFAIK no woman has ever come on to me, so I can’t speak to that end of the spectrum.) I don’t care if the guy/gal respects me in the morning. I have to respect myself. And I’m not going to go out and bang the next guy/gal I see just so folks like **featherlou** won’t see me as a “freak.” End of story. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/244 "2003-01-24T01:52:37Z")
Uh oh, does this mean I shouldn’t have crapped on my hand and thrown it at that guy that cut me off on the way to work today? Damn– **featherlou** almost convinced me that acting ‘natural’ was where it’s at… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/245 "2003-01-24T01:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\* You _might_ wait till marriage and then find out your partner has a piss fetish or is repulsed by oral sex or needs to be cursed at or any number of things which you might find disturbing or dissonant to your relationship. I guess my point is that I don’t see what is _gained_ by waiting, not that it’s necessarily bad. \*\* a. In my very humble opinion, anyone who gets MARRIED to someone with the expectation of being married to them for the rest of their lives without discussing something as bizarre as sexual fetishes has made their own bed. Like I said, I have some VERY strange fantasies and sexual preferences and I discussed them with my husband for months before we were married. b. maybe to YOU nothing is gained by waiting…but for me, it made our wedding ceremony and honeymoon that much more ‘special’. It just felt very magical and spirtual to finally join together (even though we were fucking exhausted and there was a Miami Dolphins game on) as husband and wife. like I’ve said seven times in this thread: YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/246 "2003-01-24T15:34:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\*Mine is a weapon of mass destruction. \*\* eek! You better keep that under wraps **minty**. If Bush’s approval rating drops much more he may come to “disarm” you! Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/247 "2003-01-24T15:36:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Mine is a weapon of mass destruction. Yeah, **minty** , one of those rusty, hollow shells they put the mustard gas in. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/248 "2003-01-24T15:40:06Z")
**Diogenes** , I’ll take you at your word that you’re not as crude as you sound. Might you be just the slightest bit ignorant about female sexual desire, though? “Women don’t care if the sex is crappy”? My word. “Most never come anyway”? You basically admit that you don’t know how to give a woman an orgasm and you expect us to take your opinions about sexuality seriously? At any rate, I personally do not place importance on virginity as mating criteria. I expect to end up with a woman who does not insist that her husband be a virgin on their wedding night, because otherwise she wouldn’t have me. If I fall in love with a woman who will only settle for a male virgin, I’m out of luck, and I accept that fact. However, if a woman placed a high value on her own virginity, and we fell in love and got married, and she said “Look! I saved this for you. I give my body to you and only you because to me, that represents the highest level of commitment to another person” then I would say “Thank you” and actually mean it. Not because virginity means something to _me_, but because it means something to _her_. If she had just never had sex before because she never felt like it, and virginity didn’t mean something special to her, then it wouldn’t mean something special to me either. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/249 "2003-01-24T15:42:57Z")
In the second paragraph, that should be “a mating _criterion_.” Must have number agreement. ---
**Author:** ![Sagasumono](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Sagasumono](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sagasumono)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/250 "2003-01-24T16:08:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by arisu \* > \*\*I am going to make a sign that reads: > > 22-year old virgin. **UNNATURAL**. > > and wear it around my neck. > > Mayhap I will then take to wearing sackcloth and ashes… > > What a silly freak I am for wanting actual emotional intimacy along with the physical. \*\* Arisu can I join your club? I honestly feel the same way. before I was celebate because of religious reasons, but now it’s more of a thing that I don’t have anyone. If I did, I probably would not be virgin anymore. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/251 "2003-01-24T16:16:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\* > However, if a woman placed a high value on her own virginity, and we fell in love and got married, and she said “Look! I saved this for you. I give my body to you and only you because to me, that represents the highest level of commitment to another person” then I would say “Thank you” and actually mean it. Not because virginity means something to _me_, but because it means something to _her_. \*\* Beautifully put. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/252 "2003-01-24T16:30:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darwin’s Finch \* > **An analogy implies similarity; beyond _being_ biological, there is no requirement or expectation that all biological functions / processes / whatever will therefore be similar.** Then it wouldn’t be an analogy any longer, it would start to actually demonstrate equivalency or congruency. Evacuation of the bowels or bladder can be a great feeling. I know I have sometimes wished that I could get that warm, intensely pleasureable feeling of finally being able to pee after being compelled to hold it in for whatever reason. It is a peculiar and particular type of ecstacy. The analogy is valid depending on why we are comparing them. A bad analogy is still an analogy, you know? I must agree with you in fact that sex-for-pleasure being compared to evacuation-as-necessity is inappropriate as hell. Moreover, sexual reproduction is about as natural of a process as one can get. I don’t know how one could even begin to hypothesize otherwise. Certainly no one here has said anything worthwhile on the topic. However, I do not agree with the camp that doesn’t find virginity or chastity to be unnatural. No creature is fucking _all_ the time, and indeed it wouldn’t be that great for our species if we did. Both fucking and not-fucking is natural. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/253 "2003-01-24T16:37:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Diogenes, I’ll take you at your word that you’re not as crude as you sound. Might you be just the slightest bit ignorant about female sexual desire, though? “Women don’t care if the sex is crappy”? My word. “Most never come anyway”? You basically admit that you don’t know how to give a woman an orgasm and you expect us to take your opinions about sexuality seriously? Siddhartha fucking Gautma, I was _joking_. Look, most women do not have orgasms every time they have sex. Many women never have orgasms at all. (I know, I know, all the women on SDMB come like the tide whenever their partners smile at them :rolleyes:)Whether a woman is orgasmic or not has very little to do with her partner’s cocksmanship. It _helps_ if the partner has some skill. It helps even more if the partner is caring and patient. But to say that a woman’s orgasm is entirely dependant on the partner’s performance is inaccurate and ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/254 "2003-01-24T16:39:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maeglin \* > Yeah, **minty** , one of those rusty, hollow shells they put the mustard gas in. 🙂 That’s just for when the U.N. inspectors come around. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/255 "2003-01-24T17:17:27Z")
First, I feel the need to say that my penis is not big. [It’s only 3 inches long](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=137592&highlight=penis), and I keep it in a jar. What can I say, they offered free shipping. > [@](#): > > - > > Originally posted by arisu > I am going to make a sign that reads: > > 22-year old virgin. UNNATURAL. > > and wear it around my neck. > > Mayhap I will then take to wearing sackcloth and ashes… > > What a silly freak I am for wanting actual emotional intimacy along with the physical. > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Sagasumono \* > \*\*Arisu can I join your club? I honestly feel the same way. before I was celebate because of religious reasons, but now it’s more of a thing that I don’t have anyone. If I did, I probably would not be virgin anymore. \*\* I’d join too. I don’t think not having screwed anyone makes me better than anyone else, but for some unnatural reason I’m waiting to meet someone who seems worth the _risks_ associated with sex (contracting a disease or getting pregnant, not to mention the risks of even more severe heartbreak if things don’t work out) before I fuck them. How silly of me, instead of merely seeing it as a biological process, I weigh the consequences of it much the way I do with other activities with potentially serious end results. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/256 "2003-01-24T17:23:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*First, I feel the need to say that my penis is not big. It’s only 3 inches long and I keep it in a jar. Keep it down, would you? My husband reads these boards 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/257 "2003-01-24T17:33:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*I’d join too. I don’t think not having screwed anyone makes me better than anyone else, but for some unnatural reason I’m waiting to meet someone who seems worth the _risks_ associated with sex (contracting a disease or getting pregnant, not to mention the risks of even more severe heartbreak if things don’t work out) before I fuck them. How silly of me, instead of merely seeing it as a biological process, I weigh the consequences of it much the way I do with other activities with potentially serious end results. \*\* And none of us sluts on the board think about the results of our massive and hideous sluttiness. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/258 "2003-01-24T17:41:02Z")
The only person calling you a slut **Mockingbird** is, well, you. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/259 "2003-01-24T17:45:05Z")
And I’m struggling to find where elfkin suggested such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/260 "2003-01-24T18:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sagasumono \* > \*\*Arisu can I join your club? I honestly feel the same way. before I was celebate because of religious reasons, but now it’s more of a thing that I don’t have anyone. If I did, I probably would not be virgin anymore. \*\* Exactly. It’s a matter of the opportunity not yet having presented itself. Now I’m trying to think of an appropriate Latin motto for my new club… _Portae clausae. Abstinemus, sed non semper delectu._ We’ll inscribe it on our Freak Placards.😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=14)