# Take Your Virginity and Shove It Up Your Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302 "2003-01-22T22:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/41 "2003-01-23T00:25:15Z")
I think **Tuckerfan** , your beef, if you will, is sound. Folks who look down on others who have had sex outside of marriage have a problem. But, every other paragraph in your rant just doesn’t back up your complaint. It just sounds like you’re upset because virgins don’t enjoy sex with you because they haven’t been stretched out enough. That, and also, there are apparently scores of virgins who get married and then divorce because of lack of sexual experience. Um, whatever. Oh, and I don’t have a big dick, I’ve just got a really small body. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/42 "2003-01-23T00:26:33Z")
My dick so big, when I come I bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/43 "2003-01-23T00:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NaSultainne \* > **A horny teenage boy is not entitled to ‘dis’ those who choose not to take the risks associated with sexual activity.** Very true. And vice versa. QED. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/44 "2003-01-23T00:32:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*I’ve had a few virgins. The training of virgins really takes a lot of time, patience, and energy. > \*\* This is so romantic and sweet. It’s nice to imagine women as horses…or trick monkeys even. For the record, I am not nor have I ever been uptight about sex, as many folks know, nor were my parents. And I waited until my wedding night to have sex with my husband…and it made it so special and wonderful that while I didn’t think I HAD to do it, I’m glad I did. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/45 "2003-01-23T00:34:16Z")
My pee-pee is kind of small. Send me your virgins. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/46 "2003-01-23T00:39:01Z")
Wouldn’t 90% of the huge dicks prefer to have their own congresswoman? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/47 "2003-01-23T00:40:16Z")
My dick is so big, whenever I get a hard-on, I can’t blink or wiggle my fingers. I have nothing substantive to add, I just wanted to post that. Oh yeah, and this - > [@](#): > > I’d much rather have a partner who’s been around the block a time or two before she saddles up to me. Don’t believe it - your mom says that to everyone. d&r ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/48 "2003-01-23T00:43:55Z")
You know, Tuckerfan and Mockingbird, you were both virgins once as hard as that is to believe. I hope the people who initiated you were a hell of a lot of kinder than you appear to be toward your partners. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/49 "2003-01-23T00:46:55Z")
I’m a virgin. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/50 "2003-01-23T00:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*I’ll go you one better, **Tuck**. I think people who stay virginal long after they are sexually mature are unnatural. In my opinion, the whole concept of virginity until marriage was thought up by men 2000 years ago (give or take) so they could be sure that _they_ were the father of the children their mate had. Oh, btw, that’s _female_ virginity, of course. Traditionally, nobody really cares what the guys are doing. \*\* You make a really good point, actually. In a male-dominated society, it would certainly make sense to attempt to control and restrict the sexual activities of females, so that most males can be certain that the offspring they’re putting resources and time into raising are their own. It might also make sense for females to play along with this to an extent in an effort to ensure they can get the maximum resource output from their partners. Of course, this would only work in species which form pair bonds and co-raise their young. Other species obviously employ other strategies to deal with this problem. Not saying this is morally right or anything- I’m a woman, and I feel that adhering to tribal sexual politics is in this day and age at best a pretty moot concern. Just pointing out a possible biological reason for all these weird hang-ups. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/51 "2003-01-23T00:56:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*Wouldn’t 90% of the huge dicks prefer to have their own congresswoman? \*\* I’m satisfied with the congressman I have. ---
**Author:** ![Teebone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teebone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teebone)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/52 "2003-01-23T01:03:53Z")
What is up with all these virgins? Who cares about “purity” and all that…actually what does having sex have anything to do with being pure? Are people having sex filthy? Sex is an animal instinct and natural. If I believed in God, I would say we should have sex because why would God makes us so horny to have sex if he/she didn’t us to? Why is there such an emotional attachment to sex anyways? My dog has no problem humping the carpet or the pillow, does it mean he loves the carpet or the pillow? It just like taking a dump or picking your nose, it doesn’t mean anything other than sticking your dick into someone’s vagina (or asshole). Blah! BTW, I have a big dick too! 😃 Teebone ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/53 "2003-01-23T01:06:33Z")
I’ve got no problem with virgins. I am one myself. It’s people who _choose_ to be virgins that piss me off. Mostly because they always seems to be incredibly attractive people, people who could get laid inside of fifteen minutes if they wanted to. Meanwhile, I’m over here desperate and lonely and feeling like an Ethiopian at a convention of anorexics. Bastards! I hate them all. I realize my feelings on this issue may not be entirely rational. If you found anything I said here offensive, bite me. Please? ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/54 "2003-01-23T01:31:37Z")
Hmm, my first time was with a guy who had a relatively big dick, and it wasn’t at all painful. In fact, I never told the guy flat out that I hadn’t had sex before, and he didn’t figure it out on his own, either. It was a wonderfully fun experience with someone I didn’t love and wasn’t married to. Wouldn’t have had it any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/55 "2003-01-23T01:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FranticMad \* > \*\*The last time I had sex with a virgin she disappeared in the morning, along with my wallet, credit cards, stereo, and my penis. I’ve been using my spare penis ever since, but it’s smaller and the ride is pretty bumpy. If anyone finds my original penis, please contact me! I miss it. \*\* That’s what you get for buying the detachable kind. And my dick is secure in its masculinity. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/56 "2003-01-23T01:57:12Z")
My dick is so big I can dress it up and drive in the carpool lane. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/57 "2003-01-23T02:02:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Mostly because they always seems to be incredibly attractive people, people who could get laid inside of fifteen minutes if they wanted to. \*\* It’s not just sex - it’s someone wanting you. If lots of people want to fuck you, you do care less about it. But if they don’t, you wonder what’s wrong. > [@](#): > > \*\*If you found anything I said here offensive, bite me. > > Please? \*\* lol \ My dick’s so big it ought to be called a richard 😃 \ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/58 "2003-01-23T02:11:13Z")
So I guess it’s hopeless for us virgins, then. We can’t get laid because we don’t have experience. We can’t get experience because we can’t get laid. Dammit. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/59 "2003-01-23T02:14:13Z")
That’s why god invented whores and gigolos. \*Virginity. There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.\* ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302/60 "2003-01-23T02:15:50Z")
Not exactly Guin! Just lie your way into it and don’t tell him until either A You are no longer a virgin or B He is too into things to back out now. Shame it doesn’t really work with jobs that way though ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/take-your-virginity-and-shove-it-up-your-ass/150302.md?page=4)