I don’t think I’ve ever in my life been in a shoes-on home (or if I was I didn’t realize it). I actually had literally no idea that such a thing existed until I read about it on the SDMB. I guess this is a result of growing up in Canada, although I have relatives in Britain and they are shoes-off as well.
It’s actually quite fascinating to me that this is such a cultural thing - I guess it gets pretty deeply ingrained. It seems really weird to me - the idea of lounging at home wearing shoes just seems so very wrong and uncomfortable to me. But if I found myself somewhere where shoes-on was the norm I’d try to adapt (when I was a guest, not in my own house).
As for the OP, it does seem a bit rude for her to move your shoes. Even if that is the policy, the polite thing to do with guests is to let their minor infractions slide, and I can’t imagine anything more minor than ‘you put your shoes in the resident spot instead of the guest spot’.
When I was growing up my parents would host parties for my dads coworkers (like company Christmas parties and stuff), and the women would almost all bring a pair of high-heel shoes to change into when they got to the house. I can understand that, because some outfits look silly without nice shoes. Some men brought good shoes too, but not as many. I also remember that if my parents were going out to a dinner party my mother would insist on inspecting my dads socks for holes so that he wouldn’t embarrass her when he took his shoes off. Parties I go to are usually more casual, so nobody cares about holes or fancy shoes!
As far as I know nobody was ever warned in advance about the shoe policy at any of these parties. I can totally understand being annoyed if you didn’t know, but it would literally never have occurred to anyone involved to pre-warn guests. How would you even do that? Is it normal for people to do that?
I agree with you that it would be rude to insist that someone take their shoes off if they didn’t want to. I don’t remember ever telling anybody to take them off at my parents house or my own house, they just did it. But now I wonder if some of them just saw the pile of shoes and so took theirs off, and then quietly seethed about it the whole night. I feel sort of bad about that if they did.
Kind of interesting re trying on shoes. I just order mine online. Size 13. Done. (Just got some real nice Soloman Hiking boots. Just perfect for me) I guess I’m sorta lucky that pretty much any size 13 regardless of manufactures fit me very well. My foot is probably the standard size 13 em standard.
Anywho….
I also have the occasional bout with athletes foot. It can come on fast and is totally unexpected. Once or twice a year I can be perfectly fine for months and months and suddenly turn into Mr. Stinky socks between putting my shoes on in the morning, and removing them later. This is not a fun thing for anyone in the room. Wearing a random pair of slippers? Um, no thanks. And frankly, I would not like to take the risk and give it to anyone else.
Cat Whisperer Calgory eh? ;). I’m in the central Colorado Mountains and probably get at least as much snow as you do. Maybe more. Seriously, we don’t see the ground/dirt for 6 months out of the year.
I’m curious Cat Whisperer if you had a task that had you coming in and out of the house 4 or 5 times, would you take your shoes off every time?
It looks like Calgory averages 135cm (4.5 feet) of snow a year. Breckenridge CO (the closest town that keeps good records) averages 427cm (14 feet) of snow a year. I have seen double that. The ski area (which is 0 to 2,000 feet below me) is already reporting 357 inches or 30 feet of snow. And March (our biggest snow month) is just around the corner.
I guess I really don’t have a point other than to say up at altitude and away from cities, the snow is very clean and I just see no point in taking off your boots every time you come in and out of the house.
Another poster stated that if he had his shoes on in a hosts house, he feels like he would be about to leave. If I had my shoes off in a hosts house, I would feel like I’m spending the night.
The other thing I haven’t seen addressed is that many of the social gatherings I attend are barbecues or parties where people are moving in and out. Would you “shoes off” people require everyone to be constantly taking shoes on and off every time they move from the patio to the bathroom to the back deck to the kitchen? Or do you never have indoor/outdoor parties?
In these threads, I am always reminded of my stepfather. A retired marine, he lost a significant portion of his lower leg (calf muscle, etc) to mortar fire. He always wore a brace that curved around his calf and attached firmly to his shoe. At home, he either wore shoes or a sturdy shoe-like slipper to attach the brace to. He could not go barefoot and walk comfortably. He wore the shoes/brace until bedtime and they were always placed right by the bed so he could put them on to get up in the morning.
Our house was always “shoes-on” and I always wonder what the rabid “shoes-off” crowd would do with a guest who honestly could not take his shoes off.
Our house is “do whatever you want,” unless it’s muddy or snowy outside. Most of my friends tend to take off their messy shoes of their own accord if that’s the case.
I have an old ankle injury which has left me with a limp when barefoot, and for which I wear prescription orthotics in my shoes the rest of the time. I always wear supportive sandals around the house if I’m not wearing shoes. Lately the ankle has been acting up to the point that it’s often painful to walk barefoot, and in fact my ortho has recommended orund #5 of surgery to remove bone spurs form the joint. I’d hope that if I went to a no-shoes household, I’d either be told that ahead of time so I could bring something to change into, or that the host would give me a chance to clean up my shoes so I didn’t limp around in pain.
I go in and out of peoples houses every day. If there are shoes by the front door, I take my shoes off. If they are barefoot/socks, I ask if they want me to take my shoes off. During the snow/ice days we had recently, I took my boots off when I went into any house. After getting several very painful puncture wounds on the bottom of my foot as a result of stepping barefooted on a tack strip under the edge of thin carpeting, I now carry slippers with me. I was not allowed to go without shoes when I was growing up. My feet hurt when I go barefoot.
But my question is: Won’t the oils, dead skin cells, sweat and lotion from your feet get the carpet dirty? I guess it is a smaller amount of soil, so it takes longer to have an effect.
I remember someone commenting in a past thread that, as kids, they marveled at TV sitcoms where nobody every took their shoes off when coming in the home. They chalked it up as being a “TV thing”.
Surely this would only be an issue in places which are “in-between” the frozen North and the more temperate regions. Down here in Mississippi I can count on one hand the number of households I’ve been to (in my 51 years of living) which required people to remove their shoes. Nobody expects it. I think the same would be true for the northern “shoes-off” regions - nobody would expect anything else.
In my youth, there were many children who seemed to go the whole summer barefoot, indoors and out. You’d even see them in the grocery store. Those were some black, stinky feet y’all!
I don’t tend to do that (once I get outside, I stay out usually). We’re not automatons, though - if I have to sneak across the floor in my muddy boots once in a while, the world doesn’t come to an end. Of course, we don’t have carpets, either - nothing quite as unattractive as that grey-brown strip carpets always develop from the door to other rooms.
That probably makes a difference, too - we have just enough snow to make six months of mud.
We have few barbecues in winter here.
Every time we go over this in threads, we always make it excruciatingly clear that we’re not shoes-off nazis that make everyone suffer for our clean floors - if you have an issue that doesn’t allow you to take your shoes off, you don’t take your shoes off, and it is no big deal. Of course, someone who has an issue with their feet or legs will be used to the expectation of shoes off and probably address it with the host themselves, or bring a pair of inside shoes because it is the common culture here to take your shoes off in the house, and they know it as well as the hosts do.
That all said, in summer the rules do change - shoes off is much relaxed, but you’d still take your cue from your host.
NinetyWt, I think that was me - I honestly thought people were just keeping their shoes on in the house on tv because they were in studios or something.
Come to think of it, I think I did notice this when I was a kid, and I also put it down to being an ‘TV thing’. Growing up in the prairies the city I lived in was very well prepared for snow and schools very rarely closed, so I also believed for years that the concept of a ‘snow day’ was a TV invention. I also thought the SATs were made up for several years, since we don’t write them here, but I figured that one out by high school.
The only “snow day” I ever got off school was one day when we had an ice storm, and power lines were down all over town. To keep us kids from inadvertently stepping on live power lines on our way to school (no school buses in our area), they declared a snow day. But otherwise, even in blizzards, schools were open, and kids were expected to walk to school.
Having lived in Ontario for most of my life, I find the western Canadian attitude towards shoes indoors puzzling. In my experience living in Ontario, as long as it was dry outside, you never removed your shoes or boots. Of course, if they were muddy or wet or snowy, you would; but in such cases, it was not unusual for people to carry shoes to wear indoors after they had taken their wet boots off. I well remember my mother carrying a shoebag containing clean shoes that she could wear at Grandmother’s, after she had removed her snowy boots at Christmas. Grandma did the same when she visited our house. And most Ontarian houses I was in–ours included–had chairs or benches in the entry hall so people could sit and replace their snowy boots for clean shoes or slippers. Heck, when I visit my Dad’s place in Toronto nowadays, I find that he still has a pair of slippers in the front hall closet for guests who arrive in snowy boots but without shoes.
For the most part, this is true of me as well. I don’t know if this makes any different but prior to moving here, I spent the previous 40 years in Alaska.
Snow and/or break up conditions last for about 9 months out of the year, so outside shoes are usually really dirty. I’m guessing the same can be said of Canada?
I can’t wear my favorite high heels anymore (yeah, they were Steve Maddens). I’ve a muscle disease that makes it really hard for me to balance or walk in them. But like someone else said…come ON! Piccies!
If it’s a formal occasion, like dress/high heels or suit/tie, our guests usually keep their shoes on. And after the event, we wash the floors. OTOH, if the same people drop by for a cup of coffee or something like that, they take off their shoes in the entrance hall. All this goes without saying, since that’s what we’ve been taught since we were kids.
Great username/post combo!
AFAIK, athlete’s foot doesn’t spread through your socks.You’ll have to walk barefoot to catch it. And the sweaty, clammy interior of shoes worn non-stop from 7 am to 10 pm makes for a great environment for athlete’s foot to develop
Undress? :eek: It’s not as if you’re supposed to come in in only your undies, it’s more like taking off your parka, overcoat and/or sweater.
As I’ve indicated, that’s when people keep their shoes on. And the hosts wash the floors as a part of the cleaning-up-after-the-party chores
Amen. IMNSHO, it’s more rude not to follow the host’s standards when you visit someone.
ETA:
If it’s a medical issue, I would of course let the person keep his shoes on and make as small an issue as possible out of it. It’s not as if I’m religious about it…
Surely there is a happy medium between taking your shoes off and tracking mud and snow across the floor. Can’t you just clean your shoes on the mat before you go into the house?
Shoes on, shoes off, whatever, doesn’t bother me when I’m at someone else’s house. However, shoes being* left in the hallway*? Outside the door? I’m almost tempted to break my ‘no emoticon’ rule just for this post. That seems crazy. I’m not the kind of idiot who drops thousands of dollars on a pair of heels, but I have some nice, well-made, high quality pairs from small design houses that could not be replaced. As much as I am weirded out by the thought of someone stealing used shoes, it has been proven to me over and over in life that there are people who will steal anything not nailed down. There is no way I would be comfortable with my shoes being left outside of an apartment in the hallway.
Of course I can. But my shoes will still be dirtier than my socks. My socks have not been used in mud or dog sh*t, and they have been used less than 12 hours since the last time they were washed with laundry detergent. And TTBOMK, washing with soap or detergent cleans stuff a lot better than just wiping it on a(n already dirty) floor mat.
Is there a problem that people in some areas of the world, like Japan, Scandinavia and (apparently, according to this thread) parts of North America regard shoes as something that should be used outdoors and not indoors?
Cat Whisperer seems to live with almost identical rules as me.
The whole region is shoes off. All the subtle details are just ingrained. No one gets offended if someone cannot, will not take their shoes off it is not a deal. Just a quick glance taking in the weather, house, flooring, formality and you know instantly what to do. A quick “Should I take my show off” it there is some confusion is common and solves everything. Ususally the host will suggested is up to you. It realy is more of a relaxed cultural thing. Not so harsh as some may think.
I’ve a muscle disease that makes it really hard for me to balance or walk in them. But like someone else said…come ON! Piccies!