# Taking the leap into polyamory; advice and experiences appreciated **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2016, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843 "2016-09-03T01:27:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/202 "2016-09-19T12:28:34Z")
The teacup is not my cup of tea, either. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/203 "2016-09-19T12:39:36Z")
These days I barely have enough energy to spoon, let alone teacup. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/204 "2016-09-19T13:07:11Z")
I do enjoy a nice fork every now and again ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/205 "2016-09-19T13:10:12Z")
Wait till you’re my age and you relish the occasional demitasse spoon. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/206 "2016-09-19T14:07:14Z")
Were people wearing masks, with, like, beaks? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/207 "2016-09-19T14:11:42Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > :eek: I’m more than a little shocked that you even _know_ about the teacup thing, let alone _mention_ it in a public forum. Maybe _you_ can afford real chocolate ice cream… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/208 "2016-09-19T18:37:27Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Were people wearing masks, with, like, beaks? Remember, the password is “Fidelio”. There is no second password. If they ask that, it’s a trick. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/209 "2016-09-19T21:22:27Z")
I’m glad that you and your spouse enjoyed yourselves. Here’s to the two of you continuing to have a lot of fun while making new friends. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/210 "2016-09-19T23:54:40Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I’m glad that you and your spouse enjoyed yourselves. Here’s to the two of you continuing to have a lot of fun while making new friends. Thanks! > [@Penfeather](#): > > I’m hearing “I” a lot, but not much “we”. How did your girlfriend enjoy her night? Haha. Please don’t read anything into that. Yes, we both enjoyed ourselves immensely. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/211 "2016-09-20T01:36:06Z")
What an interesting event. I cannot imagine something like that happening in my city. It’s just too small. You said these things fly under the radar and you have to seek them out, but this sounds like a fairly big event, in a hotel. What is the population of the city where this occurred? How did the hotel bill the event? Was there a signboard (Welcome Springfield Swingers!)? What was the attendance overall? I’m just full of questions. Was your wheelchair/handicap an issue at all? Were there others there with disabilities? Anyone old enough to use a walker? Outside of the Fantasy Room, what was the male to female ratio? The people performing in the Fantasy Room behind the sheer curtains – how did they get the gig? Was it all couples? Could others ask to join in? Did you have to sign up for a slot like open mic night? Could the onlookers make suggestions or requests? What was the purpose of the sheer curtains? Was there any expectation of privacy or was it just to segregate the room into pods? Just how big was the Fantasy Room, anyway? What was the racial mix of the participants? Was it an overwhelmingly white middle class affair? Was it all pretty much normal penis in vagina sex? Was there anything more outré like fisting or other large objects or watersports etc? BDSM or such? Were there accessories such as slings, hammocks, restraints and the like? I’ll probably think of more questions after I get off work, but right now I keep getting interrupted by pesky library patrons. I can’t imagine anything like this happening so openly in my city. I just don’t know if there’s a large enough population of swingers to fill up a conference room. There might be, though. My job is so public I don’t think there’s any way I could attend something like this without being recognized. That wouldn’t bother me so much except that the nature of my job (children’s librarian) and sexual debauchery might not mix so well. In spite of the ultra-lefty attitude of my city overall, there is quite a prudish, self-righteous element to the place. The whole thing is very intriguing. I’m not much interested in having sex outside my partner, and I’m not interested in seeing her get porked by some other guy, but the open sexuality and performance/exhibition scene is interesting. Anyway, thanks for entertaining my curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/212 "2016-09-20T06:57:28Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > :eek: I’m more than a little shocked that you even _know_ about the teacup thing, let alone _mention_ it in a public forum. You mean, teabag? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/214 "2016-09-20T13:19:35Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > That wouldn’t bother me so much except that the nature of my job (children’s librarian) and sexual debauchery might not mix so well. So. Many. Possible. Jokes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kingneptune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Kingneptune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kingneptune)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/215 "2018-03-14T17:08:48Z")
Chasing swing partners through sex dating sites or Craigslist is a lot of work and seldom fruitful for the curious. Better to look into swinger events, attend one and discover how you both REALLY feel about it. Imaginations are seldom linked to reality. My wife and I did this, met a lot of great people that most would never expect to find at such an event and joined the “lifestyle” eleven years ago. Our marriage spans four decades and is stronger then ever but only because of the honesty required to live this particular life. No, it is certainly not for everyone but for those who fit…what fun! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/216 "2018-03-14T17:26:53Z")
[obligatory zombie sex joke] Since this has been resurrected, perhaps **Ambivalid** could tell us whether this has become a recurring thing now (or even an occasional thing). ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843/217 "2018-03-14T20:23:27Z")
I think it is only occasional - the [towing fees are starting to add up](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=851064). Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-the-leap-into-polyamory-advice-and-experiences-appreciated/764843.md?page=10)