# Taking things personally on the SDMB
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 7, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790 "2002-08-07T16:08:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/1 "2002-08-07T16:08:54Z")
I’ve heard so many times “Don’t take this personally” on this board and I’m wondering if I’m the only one who has a hard time doing that sometimes. Most “conversations” I have on this board mean something to me or I wouldn’t waste my time posting, as I’m sure most of you feel that way too. Some things are easy to let go but sometimes things get heated and your emotions and feelings get involved. So I’m wondering how my fellow dopers feel about it and what kind of experiences you have had and as IRL, do you sometimes take things to heart here?
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/2 "2002-08-07T16:20:12Z")
I agree that it can be hard, especially if your discussing a topic near and dear to your heart. As long as you make the assumption that nobody is TRYING to piss you off, and stick to that, we should be all good. And if someone is trying to pick a fight, get in the BBQ pit and be as pissed off as you see fit.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/3 "2002-08-07T16:28:28Z")
I’ve gotten my feelings hurt a couple of times, but I suppose that’s just because I’m so sensitive… :o
Seriously, some shots directed at me had merit, some didn’t. I weigh them all, and ignore them accordingly. Life’s too short to get bent out of shape over things like this.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/4 "2002-08-07T16:37:58Z")
Since you’re all figments of my imagination, it’s impossible for my feelings to get hurt. 🙂
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### Author:  [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/5 "2002-08-07T16:43:57Z")
I’ve really enjoyed the board for keeping me straight on casual facts I assumed were true.
What I have noticed is that chosing a position that’s 150% out of line with the thread consensus involves more than just stating fact. One has to look for allies, find small matters to quibble with that won’t generate ire from the teaming masses.
What I find particularly disappointing, though, is when someone much expertise states a case, and a half dozen other… uh… considerably less expert individuals… jump in with “Oh, yeah?”
For myself, I’m interested in the truth, as best we can establish it. And I recognize most others here are more or less similarly inclined. But flaming attacks on my position, when I have special knowledge that the attacker hasn’t had, doesn’t recognize, and primarily: doesn’t care about… well that puts me in mind of the Nazis… And then… I lose it. It’s personal.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/6 "2002-08-07T17:00:15Z")
You all are talking about _ME_ aren’t you? Bwaaaaaaa.
I had one guy that bummed me out, so out of curiosity I did a search of all his posts. It turns out that he was just a self righteous asshole.
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### Author:  [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/7 "2002-08-07T17:02:51Z")
Sure, I get worked up like any good pseudo-intellect should when people dissect my ideas/beliefs. This is human nature. People don’t enjoy having their own little world challenged. Those who claim to enjoy this are actually enjoying conflict. (I like conflict.) I am somewhat miffed when personal attacks are launched against me-- or others for that matter, unless of course, I’m doing the launching… 😃 Do I walk away from the computer angry? Nope. Am I human? You betcha!
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### Author:  [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/8 "2002-08-07T17:22:03Z")
My Board Rule–If it’s a nice comment, I take it personally and it can brighten my whole day. If it’s a nasty one, I stick my tongue out at my monitor and move on.
It’s worked so far, but then again, I’m not exactly flame-worthy. 🙂
bella
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### Author:  [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/9 "2002-08-07T17:44:17Z")
Believe me, sometimes I do take things a little more personally than they perhaps need to be taken. (I’ve talked to a few people about this… you know who you are, and thanks very much) Nice comments can leave me feeling good, and bad comments? Well, I try not to assume the worst, and I’m getting better at it. Of course, there are the times when I’ll be laughing hysterically over something that’s said on the boards, and that can brighten my day.
But I’m human, and I react to the words on the screen almost as I would react if someone said them to me IRL. However, I rarely walk away from my computer steaming over an innocuous comment.
F\_X
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### Author:  [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/10 "2002-08-07T17:51:13Z")
Oh, I should add that sometimes I tend not to believe even the nicest comments, and sometimes take the bad stuff too much to heart.
F\_X
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### Author:  [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/11 "2002-08-07T18:13:54Z")
I can’t imagine a comment being made on this board that would cause me to spend one minute of my real life in any consternation. While it is wonderful to be liked and have people say nice things about my posts, I also know that not a person on this board truly knows me so anything negatively aimed at me would be based on pretty lacking evidence.
That and the fact that I am extremely content with who I am and comfortable with myself means I tend to not be lacking in self-confidence so most people’s opinions (except for those near and dear) tend to go in one ear and out the other with me.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/12 "2002-08-07T18:27:28Z")
I only add that disclaimer when I may be typing something that can be misconstrued (as nasty) when you read it as opposed to actually hearing it tumble from my mouth. You cant really put a “tone” into typing a post, so sometimes something very innocuous may appear to be horribly rude in print.
* * *
Now go PISS OFF!
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/13 "2002-08-07T19:49:11Z")
Nope, I don’t take anything personally here, after all, as soon as I turn off my computer, y’all cease to exist. 😃
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/14 "2002-08-07T20:25:05Z")
This thread is better suited for **IMHO**. I’ll move it for you.
* * *
**Cajun Man** - SDMB Moderator
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### Author:  [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/15 "2002-08-07T21:20:00Z")
I will admit, sometimes things said on this message board hurt my feelings, and they usually aren’t even directed specifically at me.
For instance, **taggert** has trotted out the old Falwell/Robertson “pagans are the reason this country was attacked … removal of God’s protection … blah blah blah …”. ([here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=129597) )
Now, I’m not going to spend the rest of my evening crying about it, but this kind of thing does sting a bit, because I start thinking about how there are probably thousands of people in this country who think this way. Who truly believe that I am evil/stupid/deluded because I have a different belief system than they do.
I guess this is more of a case of me being neurotic and thinking too much about the subject than anything else. Probably not what you’re really looking for.
I know you have ended up on the pointy end of some heated debates and flame-fests, **dreamer** , and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to _not_ take the things said in such threads personally. Just remember, no matter what some people say, there are plenty of posters here who think you’re a pretty cool gal. I know I think so (even if we do have completely different worldviews :D).
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### Author:  [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/16 "2002-08-07T21:49:52Z")
When I first started posting I was a little sensitive. I don’t know why.
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### Author:  [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/17 "2002-08-07T21:54:25Z")
You must have been a shrinking violet…
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### Author:  [@Lorenzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorenzo)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/18 "2002-08-07T22:24:17Z")
If I get called on something I said that is factually incorrect or for stating an unsupported opinion as fact, I try to acknowledge the error and not take it personally. If, however, I believe the person calling me out is in error, I will defend my position.
For me, where it gets ugly is when an argument boils down to a simple preference or difference of supported opinion and the one thinks he’s right but cannot “win” so he resorts to some sort of “fighting words” while hiding behind his anonymity.
Like NurseCarmen, I too have searched an offensive poster’s submissions to try to understand where that person is coming from. Sometimes the offender writes like a child or just seems like a very angry person. I try to consider the source.
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### Author:  [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/19 "2002-08-07T22:52:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lorenzo \*
> **If I get called on something I said that is factually incorrect or for stating an unsupported opinion as fact, I try to acknowledge the error and not take it personally. If, however, I believe the person calling me out is in error, I will defend my position.**
I still don’t think Walton’s a bust.
😉
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### Author:  [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taking-things-personally-on-the-sdmb/122790/20 "2002-08-07T23:14:32Z")
The thing is that you can always shut off the computer. You can, if you feel it’s affecting your emotions too much, never turn it back on again. It’s not your real life.
People are on this board to discuss and debate. They may disagree with you and may get frustrated with your debate tactics, they may think what you say is a bunch of hooey, but they don’t know _you_–so how can they dislike you? And even if they do, can they take away your birthday?
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