Newbie poster here… been lurking for months and months now, so please be gentle… my first post…
I worked on the first line for an IT helpdesk of company that provides consultancy services and IT support for other organisations (including itself). Most people, say 99%, are fine to deal with.
However, I got a couple of calls that I fear have induced a sense of dread and helplessness in me so profound that I have decided that life is but an illusion. It is the only explanation I have, to console myself with what I have encountered.
Here we go… deep breath…
When we take calls, we need to obtain the “asset number” of the PC in question, “for the records” etc (apart from the fact we need to confirm whether it is indeed a PC we support… no number, no support).
So… it is getting late… I am tired… 15 mins and I am going home. I still maintain the fresh helpful professional politeness in my tone of voice as if it were the first call of the day and I have had my 4th coffee (you dun wanna know me till I have had me coffee).
Me: “…and could you give me the asset number of your PC please?”
Client: “I am sorry, what’s that?”
Me: “On your PC base unit, there should be a label, with a number on it, could you read out the number to me please.”
Client: “Oh… I am new here, sorry, I don’t know what that is, I am not very technical either, could you send someone please?”
methinks… hokay, if she aint called us before, she does not “know the ropes” as it were, but I would have thought that my explanation of where to find it would have helped. Maybe she is all flappy-a-panicky and is not listening properly. So… I decide to back track to “123 – abc” speak. Politely, courteously and professionally of course…
Me: “On the base unit…”
Usr: Agitated “I said I was not technical…”
Me: “oh, erm…” Backtrack… “Under your screen…yes? Is, erm… a box”
Usr: brightly… “Oh! Yes! I can see that!”
Me: “Ok…” I think I am getting through “Ok, good. Now, on the box is a label…”
Usr: beginning to lose it again “Where, there are lots of things!”
Me: “…now, the label should be coloured either yellow or silver and may either be on the front or either side of the ba… er… box.”
Usr: Completely lost it now “Oh no look I said I was not technical, can you send someone round who knows what they are doing to show me where it is?”
I am not kidding.
To this day I still have the bruises and scars on my forehead after whacking it on the table one too many times. I still get flashbacks. This is my release. My therapy… ‘scuse me while I take the blue pill… gibber.
I had hoped that this was the only moron I would encounter, but nope… moron number two, step on up to the podium.
I had just wrapped up the call, and gave the user the call reference number should they need to chase it up, check for progress etc.
As follows:
Me: “…and ok, your call ref no. is 8798410,”
Usr: “Thanks… what is that number for?”
Me: “Well, it is confirmation for you that I have logged your call. Also, if you have any further query regarding the call, or you need to have it amended in any way, or need to chase it up, you can phone us, quote the number I have just given you, and whoever you next speak to will be able to either add to, or amend your record, or chase up the support group I have sent it to.”
Usr: “Oh ok, thanks, bye.”
A few minutes later, user phones me back.
Usr: irate…“That number you gave me?”
Me: “yes?”
Usr: “I just tried it, and I got a dead line!”
Ferkeristsake,
And this just takes the cake….
At one of the sites we support there was a scheduled power down over a whole weekend for some reason or other.
We have a team who oversees events such as this; they assist with the
co-ordination, and generally endeavour to make sure that everything goes as planned.
One of the members of this team told me that she was required to visit the site in question for the above reason.
On arrival, she had expected just to see a handful of people of various technical professions there fiddling about with bits, bobs and doohikeys.
The previous day, all the users were informed that they should not come in over the weekend because of the power down. They were explicitly told that because of this, their PCs will not work
Does that cover it? Do you think that this would get through to everyone?
Prepare to weep for the future of humanity.
When my colleague arrived on site, it was half full with users.
She figured that either they have found something they can work on without their PCs, or the message had not reached them… some logical reason for their presence.
So, she approached someone she knew, and asked if she did not get the message that no one should be in as there would be no power.
warning**
People of a nervous disposition should NOT read beyond this point
*end of warning
Usr: “Oh yes, but we thought that we would be ok!”
Colleague: “Why?”
Usr: “Well, we knew that these would not be working…” points to base
unit, “…but that would be ok, because we only really use these…” points to monitor.
From the above, and after reading other peoples accounts of helpdesk stories such as these, (and those bad customer service experiences, on both sides of the “counter”), if I did not know any better (although I do sometimes wonder), I would be convinced that the sane people of this world are being subjected to some bizarre psyops experiment; and that we have all been lead to this site via subliminal messages carried via the internet, television and the mobile phone network to document our experiences of mental torture for the various alphabetical agencies, CIA, MI5, MI6, NSA whoever, to monitor, and have a bloody good laugh at our expense.
If I am not here tomorrow, you all know I got it right.
I got more stories (of a customer services nature) to impart but I gotta hide… the black silent helicopters are back.
Ok, you judge… back to lurking?
