# Taliban Threatens U.S. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 14, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633 "2001-09-14T17:05:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/21 "2001-09-15T00:00:21Z")
> [@](#): > > but Whom exactly Who. Subject is “who” & object is “whom.” Actually, I had always thought that only Muhammed, PBUH, could declare that. Since he’s passed through the veil quite some time ago, that would kind of negate the validity of any claim to jihad now. ---
**Author:** ![FalconFinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@FalconFinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FalconFinder)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/22 "2001-09-15T05:28:33Z")
Originally posted by tradesilicon: * * * Cut the phone service, internet, cars, planes, ships, energy, everything we have anything to do with should be stopped immediately. If they hate America and Western ideals let them not use our own technology against us. No more travel to or from, no more American or other western technology to help with their terrorist acts. * * * Well said!!! (P.S. Forgive me for the way I posted this, I don’t know how to use vB code. Heck – I can barely understand the shortcuts for phrases! If a moderator wishes, they can fix this – pretty please? With sugar and whipped cream on top?) ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/23 "2001-09-15T05:47:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by FalconFinder \* > (P.S. Forgive me for the way I posted this, I don’t know how to use vB code_\* You don’t need to know how to use vB code to quote. At the bottom of every post there are a series of labeled icons: “Profile. Search. Edit/Delete. Quote.” Profile will open a separate window with the poster’s profile (oddly enough 😉 ). Search will initiate a search of threads the person has posted in. This will not open a new window. Edit/Delete can only be used by Moderators and Admins. Quote will open up the reply window with the post you selected quoted (Like above). You will see the coding used by vBulletin (and the quoted poster, if any). You can edit within the quote (as I did). Or even ‘break’ the post up into smaller quotes to respond to a post in sections. For more vB coding, [this would be a good place to start](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=bbcode) ---
**Author:** ![straykat23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@straykat23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straykat23)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/24 "2001-09-15T05:51:17Z")
I know absolutely nothing about anything but think the Taliban threat is real. The planning that led up to the 11th was so precise, so well-planned that I don’t think that the 11th was the end of it. Retaliation against the Taliban can mean further US strikes: the Golden Gate Bridge, Sears Tower, Disneyworld, Silicon Valley, the Elvis museum, whatever. These further plots may well be in place and would be a tactic that my best Project Manager might have praised. These are evil determined people and I can’t believe that these past events are all that they’ve planned. The perps were so well integrated into their neighborhoods, their schools, their local shops, that it seems unlikely that it stopped with the few people in Florida. I pray (well, I don’t really pray); I hope it ain’t so. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/25 "2001-09-15T05:53:55Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > > **lieu** , on what do you base this statement? The Taliban is no more representative of Muslims than Jerry Falwell is of Christians or Chabad Lubavich (the organization that operates those “mitzvah vans”) is of Judiasm. > > Robin \*\* That’s Mitzvah Tanks. 🙂 Eerk ---
**Author:** ![OrganicMatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/898d66/32.png) [@OrganicMatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrganicMatter)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/26 "2001-09-15T06:01:02Z")
Now, according to Fox, the Taliban “government” has threatened their neighbors with attack should they provide any assistance to the U.S. Needless to say, this is not a smart move. If any of you have travel plans to Kabul, you might want to reconsider. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/27 "2001-09-15T06:02:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kvallulf \* > \*\*Maybe this belongs elsewhere, but Whom exactly has the authority to declare a Holy War? I mean if Father Flannery and I declared a Crusade, we would mostly get laughed out of town, (maybe not now). Is there a high ranking official who acutally declared this war? \*\* Nobody has the authority, per se. Muslims don’t have a Pope. Every attempt to declare a general holy war has been less than brilliantly successful, partually because most Arabs are not crazy zealots, partually because Muslims are a huge number of people in many nations with a wide diversity of interests, and partially because there’s just no one guy who can declare it. Turkish leaders tried to declare a holy war in 1915 during World War I - so it’s not a new thing - and reaction of the world’s Muslims was one of almost universal disinterest. ---
**Author:** ![jaimest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaimest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaimest)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/28 "2001-09-15T06:18:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*The Taliban threatening the U.S. reminds me, for some reason, of a joke I heard years ago. > > An ant is walking through the jungle when it hears sobbing. Soon it sees an elephant with a thorn in its foot, crying its eyes out. The ant says, “Can I help?” > > The elephant says, “Oh, yes, please!” > > The ant says, “Okay, but if I help you, you have to let me do whatever I want.” The elephant agrees, so the ant pulls out the thorn. > > “Now,” the ant says, “I want to f\*\*\* you.” > > The elephant says, “You’ve got to be kidding.” > The ant says, “Nope. I’ve always wanted to do that to an elephant. And you said I could do whatever I want.” So the elephant reluctantly agrees. > > The ant climbs up on the elephant, and starts banging away. > > A monkey in a tree looks down and sees this little ant porking an elephant, and starts laughing. It laughs so hard that it thrashes around and knocks loose a coconut, which falls onto the elephant’s head. The elephant says, “Ouch!” > > And the ant says, “That’s right – take it all, bitch.” > > \*\* ``` I have never read a joke that was so completely unfunny. I mean if there is an opposite of laughter, that is what I just did. Yet I find it oddly compelling - and I guarantee I will email it to my friends (yes I have friends) and I will be retelling it in bars as long as my life lasts. ``` Good joke! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/29 "2001-09-17T21:20:02Z")
I live to serve. ---
**Author:** ![tragic\_kingdom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@tragic\_kingdom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tragic_kingdom)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2001, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/30 "2001-09-18T03:41:04Z")
I have a question that I think will fit well here. Is anyone starting to wonder if we will actually attack anybody or anything? I mean, after Tuesday I was thinking to myself there is no doubt we will retaliate. But now it is Sept. 17 and we haven’t caused any death and destruction yet. And I am starting to wonder if we will. I know not a lot of time has passed yet, but I’m ready for the Taliban to be absolutely destroyed. I don’t mean nukes or anything. I really don’t care how it gets done, just do it. Anyway, I’m just starting to worry we may do nothing at all. Someone tell me I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![puk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ea5d25/32.png) [@puk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puk)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/31 "2001-09-18T13:19:49Z")
You can’t wait to start a war? Just wait a while for events to play out. Give the Taliban some time to backpedle. They still might, and it would save a lot of lives. They are not the enemy (yet). ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633/32 "2001-09-18T13:43:02Z")
Is it just me, or does the idea of Jihad, or Holy War, become less and less meaningful as it seems to be pronounced at the drop of a hat? Got cut off in traffic? Declare a holy war. Diplomats ask you to hand over a suspected mass murderer? Time to rattle the sabres and proclaim Jihad. I really hope the ridiculousness of this talk is not lost on the more moderate Muslim states. If an example of how ludicrous and asinine irrational hatred makes you look, listen to some of the Taliban rhetoric. It should serve as a lesson those of _any_ belief system on how _not_ to act. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-threatens-u-s/81633.md?page=1)