# Taliban TV Guide **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 12, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144 "2001-10-12T22:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/1 "2001-10-12T22:43:40Z")
I’m putting this in the Pit 'cause it’s kind of mean (though not very). I just got it in an e-mail and I laughed my butt off. Apologies to those who have already seen it: **TALIBAN TV GUIDE** MONDAYS: 8:00 - “Husseinfeld” 8:30 - “Mad About Everything” 9:00 - “Suddenly Sanctions” 9:30 - “The Brian Benben bin Laden Show” 10:00 - “Allah McBeal” TUESDAYS: 8:00 - “Wheel of Terror and Fortune” 8:30 - “The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right” 9:00 - “Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things” 9:30 - “Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers” 10:00 - “Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer” WEDNESDAYS: 8:00 - “U.S. Military Secrets Revealed” 8:30 - “When Northern Alliance Attacks” 9:00 - “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread” 9:30 - “Just Shoot Everyone” 10:00 - “Veilwatch” THURSDAYS: 8:00 - “Matima Loves Chachi” 8:30 - “M_U_S_T_A_S_H” 9:00 - “Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils” 9:30 - “My Two Baghdads” 10:00 - “Diagnosis: Heresy” FRIDAYS: 8:00 - “Judge Laden” 8:30 - “Funniest Super 8 Home Movies” 9:00 - “Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things” 9:30 - “Akhmeds Creek” 10:00 - “No-witness News” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/2 "2001-10-12T22:46:13Z")
Pretty damned funny! ---
**Author:** ![MFS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@MFS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MFS)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/3 "2001-10-12T22:58:30Z")
what??? they cancelled “Survivor: Caves of Afghanistan” already? damn. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/4 "2001-10-12T22:59:06Z")
LMAO ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/5 "2001-10-13T00:54:01Z")
> [@](#): > > “Matima Loves Chachi” That’s not right. It should be: “Matima Loves Chachi, Then Gets Beheaded.” ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/6 "2001-10-13T01:10:08Z")
Indeed, it is pretty funny. 🙂 (As a historical sidenote- that first made the rounds in 1998 as ‘Iraqi TV’) ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/7 "2001-10-13T01:16:02Z")
Yep, thought that looked familiar. Thanks, **lno**. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/8 "2001-10-13T01:50:49Z")
**Woman gets stoned without using drugs!** Tape at eleven… **Woman loses head over meeting single guy!** Next Geraldo… ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/9 "2001-10-13T03:54:38Z")
SATURDAYS 8:00 - “Whose Mine Is It Anyway?” 8:30 - “Futurosama” 9:00 - “Boston Public Executions” 9:30 - “Al-Qaeda McBeal” 10:00 - “Temptation Jihad 2” SUNDAYS 8:00 - “Afghanistan’s Funniest Home Videos” 8:30 - “Infidel” (‘Bam!’) 9:00 - “Touched by an Ashcroft” 9:30 - “UG: Underground” 10:00 - “Jerry Lewis Labor Day Taliban” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/10 "2001-10-13T04:24:01Z")
At least part of that was originally a Letterman top ten, not that it makes it any less clever. The Bob and Tom radio show had a parody focusing on the cutting off of limbs as punishment for crimes called “All My Children are Missing Extremities,” which also cracks me up every time. Thanks for posting it Jodi. Good laughs for me. -Myron ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/11 "2001-10-13T22:52:02Z")
Very clever. Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/12 "2001-10-14T19:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*MONDAYS: > (clip) > 10:00 - “Allah McBeal” > \*\* This list was read on a local radio show, and a muslim man called in to complain about this particular listing. The talk show acquiesced, and instead inserted: 10:00 - “Ali Baba McBeal” Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/13 "2001-10-15T15:47:51Z")
Some from my coworker Tom: ``` "Leave it to Beav Laden" - See Beav Laden whip his mom for wearing pearls "TNN" Taliban News Network - featuring Laden King "Sally Jesse Ramaden featuring - Women who wear Nail Polish" "Food Network" - presents "Anthrax Omlette" with the new sponser K-Ration Helper "This Old Hut" - this episode is entitled "Rubble Patio" "The Weather Channel" - increased chances of Bombs toward nightfall ``` ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/14 "2001-10-15T16:02:46Z")
“Clarissa Explains the Qu’ran” “Touched by Some Anthrax” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/15 "2001-10-15T16:59:12Z")
And back in the US: [http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/on\_tv\_tonight\_3734.html](http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/on_tv_tonight_3734.html) a little out of date, I know… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/16 "2001-10-15T17:02:27Z")
Mad About Everything? That’s freakin’ brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/17 "2001-10-15T18:33:36Z")
5am GoodMorning Taliban 6am Meet the Mullahs 7am Incurable Collector of Copies of Holy Quran 8am Taste of Afghanistan 9am Minefield Beautiful 10am Major League Executions 11am Kabulgoing Noon Goat Show 1pm Pony Races 2pm Deadly Reptiles in the Hindu Kush 3pm TRL Taliban 4pm All in the Taliban 4:30 Johnny Imam ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/18 "2001-10-15T19:49:51Z")
Damn, did they cancel _No Sex in The City_? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/19 "2001-10-15T20:28:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Damn, did they cancel No Sex in The City? Yep, they replaced it with _The Qu’ranos_. ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144/20 "2001-10-16T09:38:48Z")
LMAO! Oh my God, I’m going to pee my pants! .:Nichol:. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/taliban-tv-guide/87144.md?page=2)