# Talk Me Down: My Daughter is in Boot Camp and I'm Worried **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723 "2015-12-07T18:20:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/41 "2015-12-08T12:55:38Z")
I’ll add that I’m confused by the idea of going home during boot camp too – starting in week 6 or 8, IIRC, we were allowed to leave the base for the weekends (assuming good behavior). I suppose if my parents had lived nearby I could have visited, but they didn’t, and I’m not sure if I would have wanted to. Do you happen to live very near your daughter’s Army base? ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/42 "2015-12-08T13:09:22Z")
Nah, in the US Army (can’t speak for other branches or other nation’s armed services) if your basic training class happens to run during the Christmas holiday season, the allow you the option of going home for a bit. Hey Drill Sergeants often have families they want to spend the holidays with too. A bit of further clarification, Drill Sergeants, when I was in basic, had a duty cycle of 72 hours on and 48 hours off. I don’t know what kind of break they had between classes. holy crap I just realized I’ve capitalized ever instance of Drill Sergeant I’ve typed with out even thinking:eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/43 "2015-12-08T13:30:10Z")
Sorry for the length… > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I attended Navy OCS (Officer Candidate School) in 2002, which is boot camp for officers, run by Marines. It was by far the toughest experience of my life to that point. For me it was an incredible shock to the system. It never became “fun”, and I always looked forward to the end, but it was endurable and it definitely made me stronger and better. > > Your daughter will be fine. Even if she washes out, she’ll be fine. If she makes it through, she’ll come out stronger and better. OCS? Their training is designed to make them into crazed people. Dont they throw everything at them including the sink? We saw before and after. Yikes! Nothing I would want to go thru! \ > [@handsomeharry](#): > > I can’t really help much, but, I’m mystified…a two week break in boot camp? yeah what is that all about? > [@Lowdown](#): > > She’ll be fine. The first couple of weeks are designed to stress the shit out of you to get you to pay attention. Trust me, your daughter is not getting singled out any more than anyone else. Everyone is getting yelled at for not doing things fast enough. That’s what week one is. Chances are slim to none that she’ll wash out. Don’t worry about that. She’ll be fine. > > I’d worry more about everyone (DI’s included) trying to get into her pants in the later weeks. Shit loads of gorgeous girls in my company and the DI’s never sexually harrassed us. I am sure being male they looked every minute of the day and talked amongst themselves and I’m not saying it couldnt or has never happened > [@Chronos](#): > > Serious question: What’s the worst that can happen? They kick her out, for being unsuited for the military? Well, then, she won’t have to deal with boot camp any more. They dont let recruits go that fast. (They’ve invested a lot of money thus far) If she cant pass the first time around and they give you a lot of help to get there. Otherwise you’ll be sent back to the beginning and believe me you dont want to go there. We heard about people that went back to the beginning. You want to stay with your group. Each week it will get better. Once its over you will be so proud. Friends at home will be jealous. > [@ivylass](#): > > Okay, then I will admit I mailed off the second letter today. 😃 > > Mostly chatty stuff about what her dad and I were doing and such. I remember from when her dad was deployed in the Navy and he needed to know everything was okay on the home front. > > I’ve shared her address with some friends on Facebook…some of them have already dropped her a card, even though they don’t know her, just to be supportive. Which I think is beyond cool. 🆒 I am not sure I cared about how things were at home but lots of mail is the best thing! > [@Penfeather](#): > > Not to worry. There’ll be a comic obstacle course montage culminating in disaster, and then she’ll be confined to barracks in disgrace before the elaborate manoeuvres the next day in front of visiting military dignitaries . At her lowest ebb, she’‘ll overhear a plan by the visiting dignitaries {who are in reality Middle Eastern agents} to steal the top-secret prototype fighter during tomorrow’s exercise. She’ll rally her spirits, and with the aid of her misfit buddies {a snooty WASP, a sassy black girl, a skinny nerd and a musclebound lunk} she’ll triumphantly foil the agents’ plans before everyone, win the respect of her crusty drill instructor, and triumphantly graduate. There may be power ballads involved. You so funny! > [@steronz](#): > > I went through USAF basic training when I was 23, I cried and sounded like a complete mess on my 2 phone calls home as well. The first 2 or 3 weeks are rough (by design); you’re never alone, you’re under constant stress, and you have absolutely nothing remotely resembling “leisure time,” when you would normally de-stress and get to grips with your emotions. When it’s phone call time, a lot of us cried just from the way you’re suddenly able to let go and talk to someone you know. > > By week 3 or 4 she’ll just be miserable; at least, that’s how I was. I just got to a point where I accepted my misery and was able to trudge through the rest of it. Keeping sending letters though, they help. In retrospect it’s hard to see what the big deal was, but when I was there, oof, it was terrible. If you dont have time to think you would not be unhappy. Time off, you get to think. Yeah, phone calls at the beginning. Time and time again to cry > [@bobkitty](#): > > Now that she’s in boot camp she is eligible for the military’s EAP benefit, Military OneSource. Short term non-medical counseling, tax preparation, financial counseling (getting you out of financial trouble as well as keeping you out of it), and a wide variety of other services all at no cost to her. Check out their website (militaryonesource.mil) and encourage her to do so while she’s on break. It will come in very, very handy throughout her military career, regardless of how long that ends up being. She can even call and schedule an appointment to talk to a peer consultant, who not only has a background in behavioral health but also has either been in the military or is currently serving. It’s great to be able to reach out and talk to someone who’s been there/done that. > Good luck to her! All we had for support and was allowed time to go visit a minister or whatever their religion called for. Otherwise we did not get off at anytime and just remembered, everywhere we went it was doubletime. Our first trip to the PX was great! > [@j666](#): > > Don’t give her a sense of a refuge. She has to tough her way through it. very true but she’ll be better for it. Everyone in her future will “appreciate” her training and service. She would be placed further up on the pedestal in most everything she attempts especially enlisted in war time > [@guestchaz](#): > > Lord yes send her letters. When I was in basic, letters were the only thing that kept me going. Big time > [@Baker](#): > > There’s homesickness. I’d been out of high school for a year, had one year of college, then joined the Army. For a while I thought I’d made the worst mistake of my life. But I hung in there. What your daughter needs to remember is that it’s only a couple of months. Folks can handle most anything if you know it will end.After basic everything else was easy.Did I mention she needs to remind herself it will eventually be over?😃 > I did get to travel, like I wanted to. That was cool. I broke out of my sheltered upbringing, and met so many new kinds of people. > And it will be over!😛 I led a very sheltered life and went in a month after graduating high school. I rarely lived away from home and had trouble being away but if I could be kept busy which you were, I had no time to think about it > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > It’s a different world, and until she finishes recruit training, she’ll have to accept the training cadre is NOT going to be reasonable. Photos in a letter would be okay. And consider this: those postcards you can get at the post office with the stamp already printed on it. Pre-address the front for her and she’ll have the whole back of the post card to drop a couple of lines to someone back home. Mental games, yes. A lot of that. I guess it depends on the DI’s. It has to be a bit different from different platoon, companies etc. Our companies all had competitions. The DI’s fought to win anything they could. In the end the DI’s were very proud of their recruits and how far they had come Yes great idea about sending self address stamped ANYTHING. Towards the beginning any free time is between midnight and 4am. Ya ain’t got much time to write but keep the letters coming from home. (put the stickers on the inside) Getting mail anyday was a big highlight of the day. Sad if not but then you have no time to think about nothing getting one. Encouragement, big time encouragement about how proud you are, how she can do it. She’s strong and you know she can make it! Course every letter can’t say those things. Encouragement would have been great for me. I really dont remember what was said in my letters received but mail from everyone else she knows helps a lot. Tell her, she’ll get time off eventually and will be able to return home. (She’ll find home quite a bit different from her view. Also basic training is big time cultural shock.) Of course it could have change but we got care packages all the time and we shared. When I was in there was a certain separation mostly between the black girls and whites but not so bad as it sounds. If she is not prejudice, she’ll be fine. At the beginning it isn’t much comerdaery but its gets so much better and everyone learns how to work together, the whole point. Hope she is an organized person. Everything had to be the same in everyones locker or whatever they are calling it now > [@Nava](#): > > From my brother: > > It’s like school, the stuff you get during training makes the rest of the service look just SOOOOO easy and so nice by comparison. Nope. Basic is the hardest thing a person will ever do unless they’ve been thru worse or they grew up neglected. Hopefully she grew up knowing how to respect all races of people and those in control To me further training (after basic) was like school. So easy and carefree. I suppose in war time it might not be that way. Being in great shape in the end is a great feeling. Takes a lot of work to maintain it! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/44 "2015-12-08T13:44:19Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > …the Drill Sergeants (it’s the Army, they are not DIs)… I should have remembered this, based on what my son said happened if you referred to the Drill Sergeant in any other way. He said one did not say “Yes sir” or “No Sir” - you said “Yes Drill Sernt” or “No Drill Sernt”. Yes, it was pronounced that way. Anything else was a smokeable offense. Fortunately my son figured out that was one of the head games. > [@billfish678](#): > > Tell her that there are many people out there that are proud of her, respect her, are pulling for her, and wish nothing but the best for her. This +10. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/45 "2015-12-08T14:29:32Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I’d like to ask, > > 1. How physically fit was your daughter going in? > 2. Has she ever been yelled at or pushed around by an authority figure like say a coach? > 3. Does she make friends easily especially friends outside her race or current social circle? > 4. What are her goals in joining like a certain career or something? 1. She had to meet certain requirements after she signed up, running a mile under ten minutes, etc. She hit those goals before she left. 2. Not really. She’s a bit on the stubborn side and she and I have butted heads many a time. 3. God yes 4. After boot camp she’s going to medic training. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/46 "2015-12-08T14:59:52Z")
She should get a medal for that two week break right in the middle of training. Basic is disorienting enough without having to get a taste of reality followed by another dip into the weirdness. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/47 "2015-12-08T15:30:17Z")
Is she at Fort Jackson? If so, tell her she’s damned lucky to be here in December. Other people are here in July. I’ve lived here almost all my life and I seriously can’t fathom it. My husband works for the post newspaper, if that’s where she is. If it’s any help to you, consider the insane number of kids they put through basic training there. They graduate a class every single week. They very rarely accidentally shoot one. (Although you would be amazed at how often the drill instructors have to save somebody’s bacon on the grenade range. Forget I said that.). The Army is extremely good at this and once they’ve invested in somebody they would prefer not to lose their money. It won’t be fun but she’ll get through it just like thousands of other kids this year. It’s a well oiled machine and if some of the doofuses I’ve met can make it through… If you can come for graduation, do. If it’s Fort Jackson I am sorry to say we lost your lake in the flood, but come and regard the mud flat with your kid if you can. It means so much to them. It was just awful when they had to cancel graduations because of the flooding - people were coming from all over, a lot of them who couldn’t really afford to. Some of them didn’t get notified in time and it was just so upsetting. I’ve happened to be on post a few times on Wednesday and it’s so sweet to see how proud the kids are showing their parents around. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/48 "2015-12-08T15:49:39Z")
She’s in Missouri, Fort Leonard Wood. Her Florida butt is hating the cold weather. I don’t think I’ll be able to get the time off work for graduation but I’m hoping to send Ivylad and maybe one of her aunts. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/49 "2015-12-08T16:25:42Z")
the best description I’ve ever heard about boot camp (from someone who went through it) is: “They teach you a _lot_ of stuff! —So much stuff, that it would take two weeks to learn it all. Then they JAM-PACK it all into the space of 8 weeks.” You are constantly under pressure, rushing around at high speed, and accomplishing very little that is actually worth learning. It only takes a couple hours to learn how to shoot a gun, a couple hours to learn some first-aid, an hour to learn how to use a field radio, etc. You don’t need 2 months for all that. But what you need the 2 months for, is to learn to be a soldier. And your daughter is doing that right now, and apparently doing it pretty damn well. I know because: > [@](#): > > her hair is too frizzy … the other girls are helping her with her hair Right now, she’s as frazzled as her hair. But she’s also doing fine, and the frazzle will get straightened out. Partly by herself, and partly with the help she is getting from --\*and giving to \*-- the rest of her platoon. Be proud of her. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/50 "2015-12-08T16:29:05Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > She’s in Missouri, Fort Leonard Wood. Her Florida butt is hating the cold weather. I don’t think I’ll be able to get the time off work for graduation but I’m hoping to send Ivylad and maybe one of her aunts. Good old Fort Lost In The Woods, in Misery. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/51 "2015-12-08T17:34:01Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Be proud of her. I am, very much so. And you guys are a big help to relieving my mommy worries. If you want to drop her a line, PM me! ---
**Author:** ![Spgsamuel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Spgsamuel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spgsamuel)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/52 "2015-12-08T18:34:16Z")
one of the lessons the military teaches is discipline this is done by forcing people acknowledge authority. its not a game like some people treat it or appear to. it is good to become subservient almost entirely loose all ties to what your brain tells yourself you should do and actually admire and respect people, tell the truth and speak in plain facts followed by ‘sir’ and try to sound like you enjoy it, in fact enjoy it and learn to enjoy it. i mean personally, this might make me sound nuts, but you should ask yourself why you joined there are many reasons such as ‘as a means to better myself spiritually through discipline or as a means of education’ in such case fighting isn’t going to be top of your lists of fun things to do. and its worthy making a mental note of this as there are many positions in the military that don’t feature heavy combat and many that are valued as non combatants such as a petty officer in one of their specialist fields. i mean if you want to shoot terrorist. then you need to keep that in mind. the military loves that kind of attitude so basically what I’m saying is she needs to focus on whats she doing because its much more likely to start happening and inevitably it will happen. attitude is hard to learn, difficult to force and can be a real pain with no experience. but pain is not the enemy here if it hurts your probably winning right there. when an officer pushes you its not criticism, it is belief in your ability. he doesn’t talk like that to anyone else because they do not have the same potential. ---
**Author:** ![BigBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@BigBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/53 "2015-12-09T04:20:51Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Ivygirl had been spinning her wheels and on her own decided to join the Army. She started boot camp last Tuesday, 12/1. Who is Ivygirl? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/54 "2015-12-09T05:40:15Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > She’s in Missouri, Fort Leonard Wood. Her Florida butt is hating the cold weather. I don’t think I’ll be able to get the time off work for graduation but I’m hoping to send Ivylad and maybe one of her aunts. Cold? It’s been in the 50’s in the daytime. Great weather for hard PT. Much better than August. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/55 "2015-12-09T08:19:58Z")
As a former Drill Sergeant, I can tell you that you are worrying about nothing. She will be fine. Getting the rifle taken away, the hair thing… it’s all minor. I guarantee that drill sergeant doesn’t even remember who it was he had to take a rifle from in chow the other day. Stuff like that is so minor and happens so often, it all just blends together. For each soldier, it is a significant personal event. For the drill sergeant, it’s all just a blur. As for the 2 week vacation thing. I will recommend to you the same thing I recommended to all of my initial entry soldiers. Don’t do it!! Yes, every training base in the Army shuts down for 2 weeks and allows the soldiers to go home. It’s really the worse time to ship off and her recruiter should have explained this to you. There are some things you should keep in mind, and you’ve already touched on one of them. It is difficult to go home for a few weeks and immediately get back into that training mindset. There won’t be a transition day. She will get back on Sunday and get right back to training on Monday morning! I would be better for her training if she opted to just stay there for the 2 weeks. She will be able to use the phone and internet and call home. She will still get some free time, but she can use that time to focus on PT and other training instead of falling back into old ways and old habits. Basic training is all about the transformation from a civilian to a soldier, and I believe taking 2 weeks off in the middle of training makes it harder, not easier! Next, you have to pay for the round trip ticket yourself. Had you recruiter explained all of this, you could have just opted to ship out after the holidays instead of shipping her off and then having to pay to bring her back and then ship her off again. The leave is not FREE. A soldier earns 2.5 days of Leave every month. Your daughter is going into the hole right away! It will take her 6 months to earn the 15 days of leave she is about to take! Normally, soldiers like to take leave after basic training or after AIT. She is not going to have Leave available to take. Depending on her MOS, she may be at her 1st unit by summer time. Every summer, units take block leave. Everyone will be taking 2 weeks off for the summer. She will not have any leave available to take. She will definitely want to take leave next Christmas, and at after that, she will be back at zero again. That’s assuming she didn’t take leave over the summer. If she took leave over the summer, she wouldn’t have leave available for Christmas. Anyway, just understand that she is going to have leave debt when she graduates. Starting off in the hole like that just isn’t a good idea, in my opinion. No Soldier who has taken that advice has ever regretted it. You originally weren’t expecting her home for the holidays anyway. Let her stay there and get in an extra 2 weeks of PT and 2 weeks of studying all her Warrior Tasks and Drills. And then she will have earned leave available when it’s time to take leave again in the future. She just left home. It is such a waste of time, money, leave, training and effort to take that 2 weeks off. That’s my advice anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/56 "2015-12-09T08:23:40Z")
Oh, and just so you know, there will be a drug test the day she gets back. Even if you’re in a state where it is legal, she can’t smoke weed. Just want to put that out there. No drugs, and no using the prescription drugs of any family members if she’s really sick or sore or something like that. You’d be surprised at how many Soldiers start training for a couple weeks, go home for Christmas vacation for two weeks and then piss hot when they get back. They are immediately out-processed and sent back home permanently. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/57 "2015-12-09T09:26:48Z")
> [@WildBlueYonder](#): > > Nope. Basic is the hardest thing a person will ever do unless they’ve been thru worse or they grew up neglected. Hopefully she grew up knowing how to respect all races of people and those in control > > To me further training (after basic) was like school. So easy and carefree. I suppose in war time it might not be that way. Ehr… I think you somehow understood that my brother was saying basic was easy? He didn’t, he said it was a lot harder than anything which came later, so you actually agree. The exercises you do in school when you learn math, or grammar, or whatever, are a lot harder than the actual application. Like, the biggest grammar analysis I did in school took up four DIN A4; the biggest one I’ve done that was not related to schoolwork was just finding the subject. Maybe you went to an easy school? > [@BigBlue](#): > > Who is Ivygirl? **Ivylass** ’ daughter. ---
**Author:** ![T.M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ad7895/32.png) [@T.M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.M)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/58 "2015-12-09T10:13:25Z")
I am from the U.K. none military. I have three daughters my youngest is 36 and guess what all three are still my princesses, the truth is when it comes to Family they are more like Dobermans against any threat. Daughters are tough but because we love them we see their soft nature ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/59 "2015-12-09T12:51:26Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#): > > As for the 2 week vacation thing. I will recommend to you the same thing I recommended to all of my initial entry soldiers. Don’t do it!! > Yes, every training base in the Army shuts down for 2 weeks and allows the soldiers to go home. It’s really the worse time to ship off and her recruiter should have explained this to you. I think it’s a mistake too, but I don’t think she was given an option. They’re shutting down basic training for Christmas. She called me before ticketing day to see if I’d purchased her ticket home. If not, she was going to have to do it. So one way or the other, they’re sending her home. She could have waited to start after the holidays but she didn’t. So we’ll have to muddle through. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723/60 "2015-12-09T13:48:23Z")
Well if she’s gotta come home then she’s gotta come home. Make it easy for her: - Give her a mile long chore list every day. - The chores must be done in order - Some chores must undo previous ones (i.e. fold the laundry, put it away, wash the laundry) - Tell her she’s “not moving fast enough” with the laundry while the washing machine is still going. - Get her to bake and frost a cake. - While she’s making the cake dump all of her clothes, bed sheets, and mattress onto her bedroom floor. - Eat the cake in front of her while she’s washing the dishes. - When the dishes are washed, dried, and put away…hand her your dirty plate. - If crumbs fall off the cake while you’re eating it, make her do pushups. - When you’re tired of watching her do pushups, take her to her room and freak out about the rathole of a mess she’s living in. - Inspect her clothes, find something that looks dirty, have her redo all the laundry [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-down-my-daughter-is-in-boot-camp-and-im-worried/739723.md?page=4)