# Talk me IN to having a "luxury" gastric bypass **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689 "2010-05-25T11:50:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/161 "2010-05-31T03:15:19Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > It appears she is one, so you’d think the importance of therapy would ring a little more true with her than it is. Yep, “doctor heal thyself” indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/162 "2010-05-31T09:24:56Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > As a teacher, what I often find is that people think they’ve tried something, but what they mean is that they’ve 1. Really wanted to be able to do it and 2. Made themselves really miserable thinking about how they should be doing it. The more miserable they make themselves, the harder they think they’ve tried–and it is real, genuine misery. > > But that’s not how you try to do something. You don’t just want it real bad and suffer a certain amount of self-administered punishment. You try to do something like you solve a video game level–trial and error, experimentation, serious reflection about last time you failed (i.e., WTF just happened?!) , consulting with others who’ve played the same game, and, more than anything else, stubborn persistence. This is an awesome post! ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/163 "2010-05-31T15:55:52Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > Not to snark, but… > > “La, la, la, la…I’m not listening, etc.” > > Not a very mechanism for coping with a serious problem. 😕I’m in a different timezone and thought it was common courtesy to let posters know I wouldn’t be responding for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/164 "2010-05-31T16:14:58Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > OP, you’ve admitted that you have an eating problem. You should be seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist, not a surgeon. Do you even _read_ this thread before blurting out advice? Like I said uptread, I have seen three therapists in four years, and gained fifty pounds. So, not helpful. I’m sorry if I sound snarky, because you do seem to want to genuinely help me, but your advice is typical of the sort of “I read it in a magazine” -level of advice that is so annoying to get when I’ve researched this stuff so seriously for three years. The stories of people who’ve had a loved one where WLS went wonderful, or terribly wrong, I can’t really do much with those. Like I said, it is an matter of odds and knowing what influences those odds. But those stories do help me understand where the WTF!-feeling comes from. On the other hand, I appreciate the advice of people who have found their own solution to weight loss. And apparently calorie counting has become easier then back when I tried it. But at the moment, I feel those tools might be a useful tool AFTER surgery. So that might tell you how determined I am. 🙂 But Manda Jo, as usual, has a very good point about trying not being the same as wishing and beating yourself up. 🙂 And yes, Mindless Eating is a wonderful book (Ive read it cover to cover) just like Potatoes NOT Prozac, which got me off sugar, for … four weeks and counting now. Most other responses have only taught me that I had better not tell anyone in RL that I will have surgery unless they absolutely need to know. It doesn’t really matter on a messageboard, but I can do without that sort of responses IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/165 "2010-05-31T16:18:39Z")
And for those harping on me being a psychologist, I just studied it. I work as a biologist, or rather, as a governmetn official in environmental matters. So while I know that for many people there is a delicious irony in a psychologist having a psychological problem, the irony here is less juicy then it seems. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/166 "2010-05-31T16:27:59Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Do you even _read_ this thread before blurting out advice? > Like I said uptread, I have seen three therapists in four years, and gained fifty pounds. So, not helpful. > I’m sorry if I sound snarky, because you do seem to want to genuinely help me, but your advice is typical of the sort of “I read it in a magazine” -level of advice that is so annoying to get when I’ve researched this stuff so seriously for three years. > > The stories of people who’ve had a loved one where WLS went wonderful, or terribly wrong, I can’t really do much with those. Like I said, it is an matter of odds and knowing what influences those odds. But those stories do help me understand where the WTF!-feeling comes from. > > On the other hand, I appreciate the advice of people who have found their own solution to weight loss. And apparently calorie counting has become easier then back when I tried it. But at the moment, I feel those tools might be a useful tool AFTER surgery. So that might tell you how determined I am. 🙂 But Manda Jo, as usual, has a very good point about trying not being the same as wishing and beating yourself up. 🙂 > > And yes, Mindless Eating is a wonderful book (Ive read it cover to cover) just like Potatoes NOT Prozac, which got me off sugar, for … four weeks and counting now. > > Most other responses have only taught me that I had better not tell anyone in RL that I will have surgery unless they absolutely need to know. It doesn’t really matter on a messageboard, but I can do without that sort of responses IRL. Have _you_ read the thread? It’s full of nothing but reason after reason why getting this surgery would be basically the worst decision of your life and you seem to be ignoring most of it. Go ahead and continue to “not beat yourself up.” The surgery, even if it doesn’t go catastrophically wrong, will not rid you of your lack of self-control. Your stomach will regrow, as will your appetite and you will have flushed thousands of dollars down the toilet. I know how tempting it can be to reach for a magic pill but there are no magic pills. I can’t know your situation so all I have is your word that you’ve done epic battle with your problems and only after years of bloody, sweaty struggle are you turning to surgery but, well, despite your frustrations with people calling it an easy way out, that’s what it seems to be. Rethink your plan, please. . ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/167 "2010-05-31T16:28:51Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Do you even _read_ this thread before blurting out advice? > Like I said uptread, I have seen three therapists in four years, and gained fifty pounds. So, not helpful. > I’m sorry if I sound snarky, because you do seem to want to genuinely help me, but your advice is typical of the sort of “I read it in a magazine” -level of advice that is so annoying to get when I’ve researched this stuff so seriously for three years. No, these are all things most have us have gone through, not just read in a magazine. Trust me, I know all about caloric intake and fiber amounts and carb ratios because I’ve read about it, too. Trust me, I’m a fat kid, too. Much fatter than you, actually- shorter, too. I’ve got a lot farther to go than you do. Further, if you started going to a shrink at 180 lbs (50 lbs ago), I can’t imagine it was for weight problems. I understand that one of the people you met with was also a weight loss councilor, but did you go to them for your eating disorder or did you go to them for depression and it just so happened they were also a councilor for eating disorders? **ETA:** I’m not even sure why I’m trying at this point. The OP just wants validation for her choice. Like I said, I hope it works out for you and is the magic pill you want it to be and doesn’t end up depriving your son of a mother. I’ll be over here counting my calories and jogging. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/168 "2010-05-31T16:31:21Z")
She’s made her decision. She stated that in the first post. At this point, why would anyone be giving her contrary advice. She says she’s done her research. She feels the risk is worth it. Respect her choices. Maybe it will work. Maybe it won’t. But she feels its worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/169 "2010-05-31T17:45:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > That’s going to rankle the people who have worked hard to control their weight, as well as people who medically need this sort of surgery and don’t have the resources for it. Why is it relevant whether other people need this surgery and don’t have the resources? It’s her money and she can decide to spend it as she sees fit. Would it is also rankle if she lost the weight through willpower and spent the money on trip around the world? And why would people who work hard to control their weight feel the need to be angry with someone who wants to try a way she think will work for her? Whether or not this is psychologically or medically a good thing I am in absolutely no position to judge, but you seem to posit some kind of moral dimension, as many people seem to feel the need to do about weight issues, and I really don’t agree with that. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/170 "2010-05-31T18:29:40Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > She’s made her decision. She stated that in the first post. At this point, why would anyone be giving her contrary advice. She says she’s done her research. She feels the risk is worth it. Respect her choices. Maybe it will work. Maybe it won’t. But she feels its worth a try. Respecting a choice means treating it properly. If we think it’s a poor choice, that means voicing dissent. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/171 "2010-05-31T18:33:16Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Do you even _read_ this thread before blurting out advice? > Like I said uptread, I have seen three therapists in four years, and gained fifty pounds. So, not helpful. No, it doesn’t mean therapy is unhelpful. It means those therapists weren’t right for you. Just like trying 3 diets and failing doesn’t mean that diet and exercise is not a big part of the answer. Have you come up with an answer about how you are going to stop overeating after the surgery? ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/172 "2010-05-31T19:11:03Z")
What I worry about is how you posted your OP: you used the word “luxury.” You may believe that this is what you need, but as long as that word is hanging around, it’s not going to be meaningful. I had thought about GB, but I have been told I am not a candidate for it. For my insurance to cover it, I have to have another condition, like high blood pressure or diabetes, that would be relieved with the surgery. I do not. But I’ve done perfectly well on my own: with online calorie counting and exercise, I’ve lost 80 pounds since last June. I have a heck of a lot more to go, as I’m still over 300, but it’s going away. I have to tell you that the online calorie counting and the support of my friends and coworkers really made a difference in my weight loss. This isn’t like the times I’ve tried and failed before. This is for real, and it’s for life. I also have two friends who have had the surgery. One was lucky to make it out, as she had her liver nicked during the surgery, One wasn’t so lucky. Please, don’t treat it as a luxury. Treat it as your life depends on it. I can’t talk you into it: I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/173 "2010-05-31T19:14:16Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > . But I’ve done perfectly well on my own: with online calorie counting and exercise, I’ve lost 80 pounds since last June. That is absolutely amazing, **Juliana**! We should start a CS thread about healthy recipes or something- I suppose I didn’t realize so many of us were changing how we eat. I’ve been coming up with some yummy stuff lately, but it’s surprisingly hard to find good stuff online! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/174 "2010-05-31T19:27:34Z")
There’s been a weight loss support thread every month - where have YOU been? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/175 "2010-05-31T19:35:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > There’s been a weight loss support thread every month - where have YOU been? 🙂 Eating cookies. But now I know! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/176 "2010-05-31T19:38:08Z")
I sympathize with the OP… I gained like forty pounds when I went to the midnight shift at work… I found that I had to stop eating fast food at work (I would get it for free) and stop drinking pop (usually hitting it for the caffeine to stay alert). I can’t add anything on the surgeries either pro or con… I know my kids Principal did it several years ago and it’s been pretty successful for her. I have a hard time remembering how big she used to be! I have had some of my guys drop 30-40 lbs cutting out all beer, fast food and committing to something like P90X. I myself dropped 25 or so by just lifting weights every morning after work. Whats happened is if I miss a day (like today because of holiday) I feel guilty and look forward to hitting it tomorrow. I would suggest only that you add weightlifting to your workouts if you haven’t already. Seriously good luck… I’m an ex-smoker and no one knows what the next man and woman struggles with… ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/177 "2010-05-31T19:39:25Z")
Obviously no one is going to change your mind, **Maastricht** , but it’s disingenuous to have a thread that says to “talk you IN to” having the surgery when your mind is made up and was before you wrote the OP. At least consider this: You hope that the surgery will help you not overeat because it will hurt, right? However, in this thread, you talk about not binging, but just having a bit too much at a mealtime, right? In this case, honestly, that’s how I can see the WLS fail. ☹ I mean, if you eat your smaller portions, but then have “just a little bit” more, you may have some pain, but if it’s just a teeeny bit more, and you do that over and over… soon you’ve just stretched out your stomach back to a normal size. Do you see what I’m saying? Your particular eating too much sneaks up on you, pounds-wise, and _that’s exactly the kind of failure that is **most** likely to happen with WLS_. Eat a tiny bit over your small stomach size, then eat a tiny bit more again, and again and again, then maybe it’s a tiny bit more than that tiny bit more… ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/178 "2010-05-31T20:59:49Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Obviously no one is going to change your mind, **Maastricht** , but it’s disingenuous to have a thread that says to “talk you IN to” having the surgery when your mind is made up and was before you wrote the OP.. Disingenious? What I wanted and asked for, straight up, was support for my decision. I got that from several posters, here and in PM. Others voiced their concern or their… disagreement, and that was okay with me too, because I know that once a decision is made, it is easy to get blind for dissenting information. If nothing else, we at least discussed what is obviously a topic people feel strongly about. > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > .. soon you’ve just stretched out your stomach back to a normal size… Yes, in a gastric bypass the stomach has usually stretched in about a year or so. It is supposed to, or you would always have to eat like in the first days after surgery. However, it is not supposed to stretch back to what it was originally. It is supposed to stretch back so the patient can eat like a normal/slim person, but not like an overeater. And meanwhile, in the first year the patient is supposed to lose the majority of the weigth. If you have any information about stretching that is at odds with this, I would love to hear a cite about it. **Juliana** , congrats on having found something that works for you ! **DiosaBellissima,** my post was directed at Clockwork Melon, whose advice I found so obvious I used the term magazine. I said that responses like yours, about what had helped for you, were helpful for me. ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/179 "2010-06-01T11:43:42Z")
I had gastric bypass surgery in Feb 08 and lost 115-120 lbs. At the time of surgery I weighted 240 lbs and had diabetes. Now, I’m holding steady at between 135-140 and no diabetes. Worked for me! ---
**Author:** ![Gruntled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@Gruntled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gruntled)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689/180 "2010-06-08T20:01:55Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Yes, in a gastric bypass the stomach has usually stretched in about a year or so. It is supposed to, or you would always have to eat like in the first days after surgery. However, it is not supposed to stretch back to what it was originally. It is supposed to stretch back so the patient can eat like a normal/slim person, but not like an overeater. So…how will you know when you eating like a normal person? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talk-me-in-to-having-a-luxury-gastric-bypass/540689.md?page=10)