# Talking Out Your Ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894 "2002-11-08T15:53:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![sulamith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@sulamith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sulamith)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/41 "2002-12-16T16:54:10Z")
I just don’t know about mine… It keeps calling for FRAAAAAAAAAAAAANNKKK. Who is Frank, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/42 "2002-12-16T18:41:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ailia \* > \*\*This thread made me laugh for about 10 minutes straight. > > And fart 3 times.\*\* It’s a chain reaction. _ **RUN!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/43 "2002-12-16T21:21:21Z")
Ohmygod… I’m laughing like a maniac… And yes, the image of **lieu** holding up a buttcheek so as to minimize the symphony is freaking _hysterical_! Bwahahahaha… ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/44 "2002-12-17T12:15:56Z")
_wiping tears from eyes_ It’s a shame none of you were alive in the late 19th century. I’m sure ecstatic joy would have ensued from a performance by [Le Pétomane](http://www.johnbarber.com/pujol.html%5B/url), whom even our own Cecil has once covered in this article… Now that I think of it, I think some of you might even have given him a run for his money… ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/45 "2002-12-17T15:44:02Z")
Le Pétomane lives. Then again, maybe it was his german reincarnation. I saw him on a re-run of a show on german TV with a guy in a green body suit and amask, farting his way through the classics. God, it was awful. There he was, on his back on a table with his knees drawn up under his chin, toodling away. Ass end pointed at the audience (and the camera) and the female moderator of the show holding the microphone to his ass and looking ready to die of embarrassment. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/46 "2002-12-17T15:48:44Z")
What a great board-- not one but two great threads on farts. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/47 "2002-12-17T15:49:48Z")
I will print this out for my son, its right up his alley. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/48 "2002-12-17T16:04:03Z")
Apparently, mine can say “Doug!”. Several months ago, we had gone out to a buffet Chinese restaurant, and I ate too many onion-y things. The next morning, I was a veritable geyser of gas. Hubby had gone out to feed the dogs, and I thought it was safe to let rip with a stentorious blast. He came back in earlier than I expected, and shouted from the kitchen, “Honey, did you just call me?” “No, you must be hearing things.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/49 "2002-12-18T01:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Tums. Tums. (Oh and if the fart voice starts telling you to do things, don’t listen to it.) It’s hard after I’ve been eating Jingo beans. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/50 "2003-01-23T20:39:14Z")
ROTFLMFAO\* This is too funny.It made me laugh out loud,squirt tears out my eyes and…fart…2 times.😃 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/51 "2003-01-24T16:38:57Z")
> [@](#): > > in hopes of warming their cockles. fart-warmed cockles, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/52 "2003-01-24T18:19:25Z")
Lieu: I was reading the Bible today. Was it just coincidence, or a message divine? “behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me … 2 And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.” Revelation 4, 1-1 ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/53 "2003-01-24T18:42:31Z")
Oh. My God. Thanks, lieu, I just snorted twice and almost died trying to suppress my cackling, in front of a big tour group of possible football recruits. Hot ones. Thank you so much. 😛 Gah, seriously, hilarious! Just to see _“mama”_… gah, if I had been drinking anything I’d owe the library a new computer. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/54 "2003-01-24T18:59:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*\*Lieu: > > I was reading the Bible today. Was it just coincidence, or a message divine? > > “behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me … > 2 And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.” Revelation 4, 1-1 \*\* Oh shit! It’s the asspocalypse! ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894/55 "2003-01-25T00:39:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heresiarch \* > \*\*Oh shit! It’s the asspocalypse! \*\* a.ka. the Crack of Doom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/talking-out-your-ass/135894.md?page=2)